Wednesday One-Liners for Black History Month

Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people.

–Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway

High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid!

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall!

–Time Square

Overheard by: Jennie

Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man!

–Queens

Overheard by: BigFatTiger

Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now!

–Queens College

Posted on June 8, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Film, Foreigners, Frat Boys, Friends, Gender issues, Guys, Height, Jews, Movie Theaters, Nerds, On the Bus, One-liners, President, Queens, Queens College, Race, Sexuality, Street, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

There’s Always Something New to Say About Boobs

Guy: I hate coming-of-age stories.
Girl: Why?
Guy: They’re boring.
Girl: Yeah, but this one has boobs in it.

–F Train

Overheard by: kim

Posted on June 7, 2015
Age/Aging, Books & Writing, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Private Parts

Because Men Will ‘Give a Sample’ at the Drop of a Hat?

Professor: If you’ll notice, in these studies, there are some where they only have samples of males. Can anyone tell me why that might be?
Student: Because men die.

–Hunter College, cultural anthropology classroom

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Posted on June 7, 2015
Education, Gender issues, Hunter, Students, Teachers/Professors, Yeaaahhh College!

Wednesday One-Liners Have the Rainbow Connection

Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.

–W 13th St

Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!

–10th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?

Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.

–4 Train

Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.

–Christopher St

Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.

–Times Square

11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.

–Bronx Playground

Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!

–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on May 31, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Babies, Backdoor, Beauty, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Dads, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sexuality, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Trannies, Tweens, West Village, Wishes & desires

Oh Wait– That's John Goodman.

Cute girlfriend: Seriously? You take me to a sports bar for brunch? I'm the only chick in here!
Boyfriend, pointing to a girl sitting at the bar: Look, there is another vagina in here.
Cute girlfriend: Yeah, she's ugly: she has to like sports.
Boyfriend: Well…I guess that's kinda true.

–Mr Biggs Bar, Hell's Kitchen

Posted on May 26, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Boyfriends, Food, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Sports, Vagina

“Roly Poly” Isn’t a Very Funny Pet Name

Guy #1: Dude, you’re fat as shit and getting balder by the minute, you really need to lock her in.
Guy #2: I don’t know man, she is super cool. She’s just so sensitive about everything.
Guy #1: Like what?
Guy #2: I make jokes that she doesn’t understand and gets mad really easily and takes everything so personal.
Guy #1: What do you mean?
Guy #2: Well…I guess she just doesn’t like it when I make fun of her.

–4 train

Posted on May 25, 2015
Friends, Gender issues, Marriage, On the Subway, Relationships

Kyle Gets Payback for Mom's Gaydar Remark

Five-year-old boy: I have nipples! Look! I have nipples!
Mother: Yes, you do.
Five-year-old boy: I have breasts!
Mother: No, boys don't have breasts.
Five-year-old boy: Neither do you!

–Old Navy, Chelsea

Posted on May 21, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Comebacks, Gender issues, Kids, Moms, Nipples, Parents, Physical appearance, Rack, Should've Used a Condom, Store

Boy Parts and Girl Names: Hot, Hot, Hot!

Girl #1: So, seriously, his name is Meredith? Like “A Boy Named Sue?” Seriously?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously, it's like that show… The one with, you know, the guy, and that's his name… You know, that show we watched last night.
Girl #1: Yeah, that show, with the hot guys?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously hot.
Girl #1: Seriously.

–6 Train

Overheard by: I don't think they were serious

Posted on May 16, 2015
Beauty, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Music, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Sexuality, TV

Yeah, We Didn't Know, Either

(tiny Asian girl in a striped skirt and high-heeled boots is hauling a suitcase up the stairs from the subway).
Hobo: You know who you look like?
Asian girl: Who?
Hobo: You know who you look like?
Asian girl: Who?
Hobo: Girl, you look like Paul Lynde.

–12th St & 7th Ave