Guy: I thought you couldn’t write diplomats tickets.
Cop: You can write ’em, they just don’t have to pay ’em!
Guy: Oh.
Cop: Yeah. Fuck them!
–6th between B & C
Guy: I thought you couldn’t write diplomats tickets.
Cop: You can write ’em, they just don’t have to pay ’em!
Guy: Oh.
Cop: Yeah. Fuck them!
–6th between B & C
Professor: We will talk about the JDC–the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee. And no, they were not dispensing marijuana.
–Queens College
Overheard by: ShaniP
Trashy JAP on cell: So I told her I was selling, and that bitch was like, "Katrina, for how much?" And I was like "Oh my god, mom, it doesn't matter how much the weed is going for, all that matters is the quality!"
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: penelope
Random stranger to teens: You want to buy some weed? Just come back to my mom's house!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rhian
College student on cell: Mom, you've got to stop smoking so much weed. I mean, fuck!
–Time Square
Random dude on street: I got it all! Liquor, alcohol, marijuana, Chips Ahoy! I got it!
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lagster
Street vendor: Prada bags, Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci bags, marijuana bags… (everyone looks over at him) Hey, I gotta make money somehow.
–Times Square
Overheard by: mary jane
Guy #1: I told the manager they need to start recycling.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Cuz they don't recycle.
Guy #2: So what!?
–41st & 7th
Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!
–72nd & Columbus
Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Katy
Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.
–Victoria's Secret
Overheard by: Emm
Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: TheMac
Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!
–33 Washington Square West
Hipster chick: Oh! Thanks for carrying my bag!
Hipster guy: No problem. I’ll just masturbate on your face later.
Hipster chick, laughing: Well, I didn’t want to say it in public…
–Deli, 9th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: didn’t want to know that
Drunk girl: You’ve seen anal sex a million times in porn, but have you ever once seen shit on the guy’s dick? Or on the sheets?
Guy: Maybe they give the girls enemas first.
Drunk girl, draining glass: Well, they must give ’em something, because in real life ass-fucking is a shitty business.
–Tony Awards after-party, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy #1, in long line to exit ball park: It smells like fart in here.
Guy #2: Yeah, but when you get this many people in this small a space, you're gonna smell some farts.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: xplod
Girl: Is it okay to swallow gum?
Guy #1: Yeah, if the guy’s been tested…
Guy #2: Dude, she said ‘gum.’
Guy #1: Oh… Awkward…
–Death Cab for Cutie show, Madison Square Garden Theater
Overheard by: Domi
Teen boy #1: Dude, are you gay?
Teen boy #2: No. Why?
Teen boy #1: Because I saw you whacking off to your cousin! Did you shoot on him?
Teen boy #2: No, we were comparing sizes!
Teen boy #1: Well, that’s gay. You’re never suppose to show your stuff to another guy!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Austin Crumpler
