Wednesday One-Liners Won't Remember This Tomorrow

Drunk girl to friend: No, 'cause my kids are gonna be city kids and your kids are gonna be country kids and my kids aren't gonna wanna talk to your kids!

–University Place & 12th

Overheard by: Mikalena

Drunk white girl: Who owns New York City? Who's got it on lock down more than Jay-Z?

–8th St & 3rd Ave

Drunken girl to friend: He's divorced. Is it okay if I fuck him?

–E 14th St

Overheard by: Mimi

Drunken bro, stumbling into hookah bar with friends: Do you think they have penis flavor?!

–Hookah Bar, 1st Ave

Drunk frat boy, sitting in trash can, drinking Bacardi Mojito bottle: This is the end man! This is the fucking end!

–Church & Canal

Overheard by: Ben

Drunk girl on phone: Hello? What happened? Your dad died? Oh…what? Your dog died? Oh, I though you said your dad died. Wait…are you laughing or crying? Cuz if you're crying, I hate you. Sorry, I'm on the train right now, and I'm drunk off my ass.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Igor Petrov

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Crying, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Kids, Laughter, Man's Best Friend, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Penn Station, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Street, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People

Contemporary Horses Stubbornly Refuse to Get Horn Transplants, Anyway

Upset four-year-old girl, looking at tapestries of unicorns: But mom!
Mother: These are fakes, silly. There are no real unicorns here. We're not at a zoo!

–The Cloisters

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on July 6, 2009
Animals & Nature, Fakes, Kids, Moms, Parents, Stupidity, The Met

Girls Can Be So Catty

Mother to little girl: Dammit! Stop that, you are not a cat!
Friend: What's she doing?
Mother: She's licking me! She meows too!
Little girl: Meow!
Female passenger: Meow!
(pause)
Little girl: Meow?
Female passenger: Meow!

–M15 Bus

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on July 6, 2009
Bus, Friends, Gay Man's Best Friend, Kids, Licking, Moms, On the Bus, Parents, Passengers, Weirdness

If M. Night Shyamalan Made Kids' Movies

Young woman: Who wants to be a spider!?
Group of children: Yaaaaaaaaaay!

–Park Slope

Posted on July 5, 2009
Insects, Kids, Park Slope, Questions, Wishes & desires, Women

I Blame The Who-Cares Bears Movie

Kid #1: How old is she?
Kid #2: Six.
Kid #1: And she's goth?

–Myrtle Ave & Washington, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Dark Lord in Training

Posted on July 4, 2009
Age/Aging, Brooklyn, Kids, Questions, Weirdness

Ahem– The First Rule Of the Dino Show Is “Don't Talk About the Dino Show”

Little boys, watching two torosauruses battling during dinosaur show: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Little boy ringleader: Rip his head off! I came to see some action!
Little boys: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Little boy ringleader: Fascinating! This is fascinating!

—Walking with the Dinosaurs Show, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Milna

Posted on July 3, 2009
Animals & Nature, Fighting and ass kicking, Kids, Madison Square Garden, Should've Used a Condom, Theater

F4F Wednesday One-Liners

Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.

Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…

–Prospect Park

Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.

–Barnard College

Overheard by: funny

Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!

–5 Train

Overheard by: E.J.

20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.

–1 Train

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Dads, Fat People, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, Kids, Latinos, Love, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Students, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners from Beyond the NYC Event Horizon

Five-year-old girl, holding her nose, to mother: It smells here! It smells like New Jersey! Mommy! It smells like New Jersey!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Cicero

Teenager: Oh, wow, I didn't know New Jersey had any buildings.

–Christopher St. Pier

Girl on cell: I think I slept with a whore. Then I woke up in Jersey.

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Rachel

Crazy-sounding drunk girl: Ewww, why are there so many people from New Jersey here?

–Bowery & E 4th

Overheard by: do they emit a particular odor?

NYU guy trying to impress girls: My dad actually grew up right around here. Well…in New Jersey.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Girl sitting on raised metal platform on front deck to friend: Hey, do you want to turn around? We're looking at Jersey again.

–NYU LSP Boat Cruise

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Kids, Moms, NYC Geography, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Prostitution, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Train Station, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, West Village

I Prefer to Think Of What I Do As Panhandling Express

Black guy wearing North Face: Listen up, people! I'ma need some money to buy a coat, cuz it's freezin out there! This coat that I'm wearin' ain't mine, it's my friend's. So I'ma need some money to buy a coat…yo, what stop is this?
Asian kid: Times Square.
Black guy: Okay…if you want to donate, you can't. Cause I gotta go, man.

–1 Train

Posted on June 28, 2009
Asians, Black People, Clothing, Guys, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Panhandling, Public Transportation, Questions, Weather, Weirdness

Grease!

Lady: What Broadway show is this?
Little girl: This ain't no Broadway show, it's McDonald's.
Lady, laughing: Oh. Well, it looks just like that Broadway show next door.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Shana

Posted on June 27, 2009
Broadway Shows, Compare/Contrast, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square, Women