Gentleman #1: Yeah I saw that girl.
Gentleman #2: Yeah I know, she was as happy as a parking meter!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Max
Gentleman #1: Yeah I saw that girl.
Gentleman #2: Yeah I know, she was as happy as a parking meter!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Max
Man: …it just leads me to wonder which corner is more queer: the corner of Seaman and Seaman or the corner of Gay and Christopher.
–Dallas BBQ, W. 72nd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Hobo: Spare some change?…Why are you so selfish?
Man: Why are you so poor?
–West 4th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: David B.
Older black man (squinting at the map through bifocals): Boy, this train doesn't even *go* to Franklin Street.
Younger black man: Give me my glasses, sit down, and shut the hell up! If you were in charge, we'd be on a 5 train and lost!
–2 Train
Overheard by: 2littlewings
Man: …and then she’s gon’ ask me, “How was church?” I’m like, get the fuck outta here. How many times have I asked her to go to Goddamn church with me? Every fuckin’ Sunday, I ask that bitch to go to Goddamn church with me. Never! Not once has she come with me, now she wants to ask me, “How was fuckin’ church?”.
–Sephora, 19th & 5th
Overheard by: yassira diggs
Mormon guy: So last time I was here, I was trying to get to Columbia, and I missed my stop and got off in Harlem. And I looked around and thought, “I can’t believe I’m the only white person here!” And sure enough, I was the only white person there. I mean, I was wearing a tie!
–flight into JFK
Woman: Oh boy, you are in trouble girl. Jesus says to come over here right now. Jesus says come over here now!
–Brooklyn Museum
Guy: So I really need your advice. My wife was driving on the LIE, and she had a vision from God telling her to sleep with this other guy, so she did. Well, I finally got her to move back in with me, but now she says I’m full of shit and everything I say is a lie. I really want to work this out with her, you know?
–Penn Station
God Squad guy: I love all y’all in the name of Jesus, ’cause I got Jesus! I’m blessed, you’re stressed. I’m anointed, you’re disappointed!
–4 train
Overheard by: saltylips
God Squad woman: Here come da Jesus, fire from his mouth!
–1st Avenue L station
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl: Jesus there’s like a restaurant every two feet here.
–46th between 8th & 9th
Man: …come to think about it, my grandfather was in charge of the marshmallow burning during Joan of Arc’s burning, so I guess it’s in my heritage!
–45th between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Alex Venguer
Man, painted completely silver, to lesbian: I'll cook you dinner if you let me eat you for breakfast.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Adrienne
Man #1: I swear, if she asks me if I love her one more time I’m going to punch her in the goddamn face. She’s driving me up a fucking wall!
Man #2: Maybe you should just break up with her.
Man #1: What, and be alone?
–On 66 West cross town
Man: So yeah, he went away to a fairy commune, but I hear he’s having a really good time.
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Gabriel and Lauren
Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.
–14th & 8th
Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!
–St. Mark's Place
Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…
–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill
Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!
–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: chris
Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!
–1st Ave & St. Mark's
Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola Black
Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.
–W 4th St
20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.
–Café
