Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Maggie
Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Maggie
Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my underwear drawer.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jess
Overconfident guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop.
–Dorm, NYU Law
Overheard by: holdingbacklaughter
Little old lady on park bench to another: Well, I've been stuffing my bra now, and now I can't find my money.
–Central Park West & 63rd St
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: My dog only eats my underwear. He doesn't eat my son's. He doesn't eat my husband's. Only mine! I wonder why. (pauses to think) Hmm… it must be that feminine smell.
–E 40th St
Overheard by: TMI
Livid man on cell: No! You can't have your underwear back!
–Chelsea
Crazy man: Girl, you been married?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: You divorced?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: How many times you been married?
(teenager girl holds out five fingers)
Crazy man: Damn girl, I've only been married once and we're still together.
–Time Square Shuttle
Overheard by: Holly
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!
–14th b/w 3rd & 4th
Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)
–Bowling Green
Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)
–Hudson Line Train
Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!
–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway
Overheard by: Suze V
Waiter: Hey, wassup? I’m Sean. What’s your name?
Girl: Rebecca. Nice to meet you.
Waiter: And you, man?
Guy: Kwanzaa.
Waiter: Hey, by any change you are mixed with Jewish?
Guy: Er, no, everything but.
Waiter: Well…’cause, you know, I’m Jewish.
Guy: …Okay.
Waiter: Uh, ’cause you know, Kwanzaa’s a Jewish Holiday?
Girl: It is? Wow, I didn’t know that.
–Diner 24, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: enkie
Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.
–N train, Astoria
Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
–Eckerd, Astoria
Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.
–79th St entrance, FDR
Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.
–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Stephen and Allison
Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!
–New York Public Library
Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library
Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.
–114th & Broadway
Gentleman #1: Yeah I saw that girl.
Gentleman #2: Yeah I know, she was as happy as a parking meter!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Max
Man: …it just leads me to wonder which corner is more queer: the corner of Seaman and Seaman or the corner of Gay and Christopher.
–Dallas BBQ, W. 72nd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Hobo: Spare some change?…Why are you so selfish?
Man: Why are you so poor?
–West 4th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: David B.
