Middle-aged daughter: You have my permission to not talk to me for the rest of the day.
Ninety-year-old mother: Why the hell would I want to talk to you anyway?
–R Train
Overheard by: New York State of Mind
Middle-aged daughter: You have my permission to not talk to me for the rest of the day.
Ninety-year-old mother: Why the hell would I want to talk to you anyway?
–R Train
Overheard by: New York State of Mind
Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art…
–9th St & Ave C
Overheard by: Juliet
Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy.
–Soho
Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible.
–Pratt Institute
Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas.
–Whitney Museum
Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Me too
Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far!
–Times Square
Mom #1: Wow, it is such a beautiful day out. I really wish there was a park around here.
Mom #2: Yeah, they should get on that.
–83rd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Jesse
Older woman: What do you think of my hair?
Woman: It looks great!
Older woman: I hate it, I'm having a bad hair day.
Woman: It looks fine, mom.
–Central Park
Daughter to mom: We can save on a hotel room if Steve* and I sleep in the same bed.
Mom: You're not sleeping in the same bed as your brother! That's insect!
Steve: It's okay, we have spray.
–C Train
Overheard by: Sean
Excited young children: Look, it's a polar bear!!!
Jaded mother, in thick New York accent: Get a good look; they're not going to be in the world much longer.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Sarah
Tourist mother: Wait, do they call it ground zero because it's on zero street?
Tourist son: I'm pretty sure that's not why, mom.
Tourist mother: Well, then what's the address?
–E Train
Overheard by: Andrew Larsen
Peter Greene (Zed from Pulp Fiction): What happens in your life if you don't have your gallbladder?
–The Library, East Village
Girl on cell: My life is cursed, Cordelia!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Charlotte
Hobo carrying tall bamboo pole: What a life. Who wants to shoot me in the back?
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: Publius
Girl to friend: So they, like, told me I should come up to the school for two days and, like, go to some dinner on the first night and then do campus activities the next day. But I don't know. That's, like, two days of my life.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Bystanding Citizen
Little girl to mom: It's okay, mom. I'll just go on and have a good life and never learn how to whistle.
–80th St & Amsterdam Ave
Cosmetology teacher: We do not do sterilization in this class. That is what they do in a medical lavatory.
–Cosmetology Class, Astoria
Overheard by: Kelsey
Fat black teen shoving past white couple: I like how they ain't know how a say "excuse me."
–Wilson ave, Bushwick
Xerox repairman on cell: Yo, you sound like John Lecoozigamo! He's a comedian. Le-cooz-I-ga-mo.
–132nd St & Cypress
Overheard by: office drone
Middle-aged mother with thick Staten Island accent on cell: Ronny, where are you?! We are standing outside and we are freezing the children!
–New York City Transit Museum, Brooklyn
Indignant thug to thugette: I told her we wasn't together. How did she know I'm with you? Did you tell her differentwise?
–Q20 Bus
Overheard by: Liza
Irritated tourist mother to baffled seven-year-old daughter: Your father is such a fuckin' dickwad! And let me tell you–he wasn't even inspired the night we made you.
–Times Square
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Guy on cell: I haven't talked to my dad in over three years, and this morning he friended me on Facebook.
–1st Ave & 89th Street
Overheard by: Citats
Guy on cell: Well, I wouldn't say I have the best relationship with my father, no. Umm… Well, for example, if he answers the phone when I call the house he says "Oh. Hey, failure."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Olivia
Woman on cell to friend: Uh-huh girl, I brought William to his donors' house and he didn't want to watch him. I said "William, William, say goodbye to your donor because he don't wanna watch you today."
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Upper East Side girl at brunch with girlfriends: I need to find a new apartment because when I do the walk of shame I keep running into my dad.
–80th St & 2nd Ave
