Little black girl boarding Chinatown bus: Mama, I was on this bus before and nothing happened.
Mother, also boarding bus: Yeah, well, I was on this bus last week and it caught on fire.
–Chrystie St.
Little black girl boarding Chinatown bus: Mama, I was on this bus before and nothing happened.
Mother, also boarding bus: Yeah, well, I was on this bus last week and it caught on fire.
–Chrystie St.
Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.
–Thompson Square Park
Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.
–Ave A & 6th St
Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!
–J Train
Little girl: I'm gonna be 4!
Mom: In December.
Little girl: In December!
Mom: And you're gonna be this short forever. You're not gonna grow.
Little girl: Whaaa-aaaat?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brigid
Middle-aged daughter: You have my permission to not talk to me for the rest of the day.
Ninety-year-old mother: Why the hell would I want to talk to you anyway?
–R Train
Overheard by: New York State of Mind
Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art…
–9th St & Ave C
Overheard by: Juliet
Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy.
–Soho
Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible.
–Pratt Institute
Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas.
–Whitney Museum
Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Me too
Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far!
–Times Square
Mom #1: Wow, it is such a beautiful day out. I really wish there was a park around here.
Mom #2: Yeah, they should get on that.
–83rd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Jesse
Older woman: What do you think of my hair?
Woman: It looks great!
Older woman: I hate it, I'm having a bad hair day.
Woman: It looks fine, mom.
–Central Park
Daughter to mom: We can save on a hotel room if Steve* and I sleep in the same bed.
Mom: You're not sleeping in the same bed as your brother! That's insect!
Steve: It's okay, we have spray.
–C Train
Overheard by: Sean
Excited young children: Look, it's a polar bear!!!
Jaded mother, in thick New York accent: Get a good look; they're not going to be in the world much longer.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Sarah
Tourist mother: Wait, do they call it ground zero because it's on zero street?
Tourist son: I'm pretty sure that's not why, mom.
Tourist mother: Well, then what's the address?
–E Train
Overheard by: Andrew Larsen
