Wednesday One-Liners Remember elimiDATE Fondly

Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…

–Columbus & 62nd St

Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.

–Columbia University

Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!

–Spring & Hudson

Overheard by: Oscar Gamble

Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.

–125th St Fairway

Overheard by: Just Shoppint

Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes

Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung

Posted on October 15, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Firemen, Food, Gripes, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Insults, Men, Murder, On Cell, One-liners, Promiscuity, Relationships, Soho, Street, Students, Suits, The Village, Threats, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires, Women

We Cuddle Via Text

Girl #1: So, you're sleeping in the same bed as this guy?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it's like a king size bed, so it's not like we touch.

–Bleecker St

Posted on September 10, 2019
Girls, Height, Questions, Relationships, The Village

Cats Often Make Terrible Pets

Man: That’s what she told me.
Woman: Wow! You know so much about a woman’s cervix now!
Man: Yeah…She bit my neck the other night.
Woman: What?
Man: Yeah…I, like….she drinks a lot.

–Washington Square South & Thompson

Overheard by: Renee B.

Posted on August 7, 2019
Body Parts, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Manhattan, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village

Because You Love Me, Right? Honey?

Girl: Honey, are you listening to me?
Guy: No, I was thinking about putting my dick in your mouth.
Girl: Oh.

–Central Park

Overheard by: dead letter b

Posted on July 20, 2019
BJs, Central Park, Couples, Manhattan, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships

Gin Makes a Woman Mean

Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home.

He closes her cab door and walks away.

–Bleecker St.

Overheard by: Stephie Russell

Posted on July 8, 2019
Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Relationships, The Village

Nuts for Wednesday One-liners

Chris Noth: I talked to her for 10 minutes and figured out she was crazy.

–15th & Irving

Overheard by: Ameha Beyene

Posted on July 8, 2019
Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Celebrities Overheard, Crazies, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Violence, We Love Our Pets

I Grudgingly Obey the Laws of This Godless Democracy

Middle East man, exiting his vendor cart: But I miss you!
Retreating American woman: You have, like, five wives and three girlfriends.
Middle East man: No! I do not!

–13th & 5th

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 9, 2019
Default, Foreigners, Islam, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Relationships, The Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Women

Boys Take Non-Poking Very Literally

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.

–Penn Station

Posted on March 30, 2019
Breaking Up, Default, Facebook, Friends, Girls, Penn Station, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity, Teens

Plus, We Both Like Ice Cream. And the Beatles!

Bimbo #1: Yeah, I really think I like him. We get along so well. I mean, we have a lot in common.
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah? Like what?
Bimbo #1: Well, we both love pugs.
Bimbo #2: As in the type of dog? Everyone loves pugs. How can you not like pugs? They are so fucking cute.
Bimbo #1 (challengingly): Yeah? Well, how about this one? Both of our dads died in plane crashes.
Bimbo #2: Oh. My. God. You are sooo meant to be together.

–Brooklyn Bound N Train

Overheard by: totes meant to be

Posted on March 8, 2019
Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compliments, Death, Default, Girls, On the Subway, Parents, Relationships, We Love Our Pets, Weirdness

Relationships