Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Straight male employee: How gay do you have to be to shop here?
Gay male customer, overhearing employee: How gay do you have to be to work here?
–Michael's Craft Store, Queens
Punk girl on phone: If they fucked up my computer I will kill them and drink their blood.
Computer tech (overhearing her and taking two steps back): Uhm… Your hard drive just crashed.
Punk girl: Fuck you.
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
Middle school girl on Nextel: Hi mom.
Mom (from Nextel): Hello?
Girl (into Nextel): Yeah, mom. Hello? I am on my way home.
Mom (from Nextel): Where are you?
Girl (into Nextel): I am just getting off the bus right now.
–Target, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lynda
Hoochie with kids on cell: They gave me four pills for when my period comes on… (looks at cashier) Um… They said it's gonna flood.
Cashier cutie: Looks like the flood gates already opened.
–CVS Pharmacy
Overheard by: Heater
Woman: So my friend was going to vote for Obama, but now, since her boyfriend is from, like, Alaska, she's going to vote for McCain instead.
–Store, 2nd Ave
Woman to friend: Joe says he weighs 145 but he's a Republican. You can't trust anything he says.
–Pinetree Lodge, 35th & 1st
Hobo on street corner: Vote for McCain. Get nuclear rockets shot up your ass and eat moose burgers all day!
–W 3rd & MacDougal St
Overheard by: Matt
60-something woman dressed like teenybopper, talking about Sarah Palin on cell: She proves you can be pretty and smart. She's more than a bulldog in a pantsuit; she's like Alaska Barbie!
–Penn Station
Yuppie dad to whiny daughter: Barack Obama doesn't like it when his daughters whine.
–Caroll Gardens
Middle-aged, white man on cell: Do not call me at this number again. Never call me at this number again. Listen, if you call me at this number again I will, in fact, vote for John McCain.
–Tea Lounge, Cobble Hill
Ghetto mother to obnoxiously loud child: Stop it! Stop it! I said stop it! Oooh, girl I am gonna sell yo ass for a Lexus and a mansion if you don't stop!
–L Train
Mother to small child lagging behind: Do you want to go home with another family?
–South St Seaport
Overheard by: shopgirl
Grandmother to small grandson: You went potty, Nietzsche? That's very good. Nana is coming over later, Nietzsche.
–Carl Schurz Park
Mother, to kid peeing on street: Michael, we don't pee on other people's doors!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Nikki
Mother, to kid looking at toys: It's not a toilet, it's to make cupcakes.
–Toys "R" US, Times Square
Overheard by: Howie
Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!
–Penn Station
Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam*, your first drug deal encounter.
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: andrew daly
Haggard-looking middle-aged woman: Hi, yes, I need a refill. I need my Xanax. (short pause) My life is hell.
–CVS Pharmacy, 42nd & 10th Ave
Suit on cell: No mom, I'm not going to just start popping antidepressants without seeing a professional first! Why would you even say that?!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: I'd have prescribed some ritalin for him
MTA conductor over loudspeaker: Hey Bobby! Lay off the steroids, they're making your voice sound funny!
–MTA Harlem Line Train
Overheard by: Nina
Loud suit on cell: Hello? Yes, hi, I'd like to order a Viagra pill. Only one, sir. No, no, just one. Sir, I want only one pill of Viagra, can you do that for me? Can I pick it up tomorrow? Great, thank you. I look forward to seeing you. Take care now, bye bye.
–44th St & 3rd Ave
20-something girl: Whenever I have a bad day, I think "How did Hillary Clinton feel?" and then I don't feel so bad. I mean they must have put her on sedatives to make it through that.
–C Train
Cute girl on cell: Well, tell her if she takes all those pills I'm going to kill her!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: arctinus
Barnes & Noble employee #1: Some bum is washing his ass in the men's restroom.
Barnes & Noble employee #2 (in horror): Oh god.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Yesenia
Guy #1: You're getting a cape?
Guy #2: Yeah, I figure we can prop the hood up and make it like the reservoir.
Guy #1: You're either going to look like a giant penis in a condom or a Ku Klux Klan member in saran wrap.
–Costume Store, 11th & Broadway
Overheard by: brian
