Student #1: If we spit at the same time they'll hit the rail at the same time.
Student #2: No way! My spit will beat your spit down, no problem!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Joseph Durning
Student #1: If we spit at the same time they'll hit the rail at the same time.
Student #2: No way! My spit will beat your spit down, no problem!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Joseph Durning
Tourist dude #1: You know, New York is exactly like Miami, only Miami is nicer.
Tourist dude #2: I don't know, dude…
Tourist dude #1: And there isn't much to do here!
–44th St & 8th Ave
Man: When's your baby's birthday?
Mom: Last week.
Man: Oh, he a Gemini?
Mom: No, he a Tuareg.
Man: Oh, shoot, watch out.
–R Train
Girl: Can I have a breakfast sandwich?
Dunkin' Donuts employee: Yes, miss, what kind?
Girl: Breakfast.
–F Subway
AP English teacher: Let's look at how this book can be read as a Christian allegory. The main character, Santiago, was a fisherman. (draws Jesus fish symbol on board) Okay, you all know what this is. So it means that Jesus, like Santiago, was a…?
Confused student: A fish?
–Riverdale
Female employee to coworkers: Oh my god, you guys! I've got this customer on the phone looking for a fertility jacket! I'm going crazy looking… What the fuck is a fertility jacket?
Male employee: Tina*, you mean a “utility” jacket?
–Bloomingdale's, Soho
Guy: I mean, we're on an island, too.
Girl: Seriously?
–1 Train
White college student to Korean friend: Dude, I thought Asian-ness was like… universal!
Korean student, irritably: I hate seeing all these sneaky chinks around.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Someone who can tell Koreans from Chinese…
Man handing out flyers: Hey, do you like comedy? Do you?
Passerby: No, thank you.
Man handing out flyers: So you're German?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chloe E.
