JAP #1: Oh my gosh. Have you seen her lately?
JAP #2: No… Why?
JAP #1: She got fat!
JAP #2: Oh my god, but she moved to Westchester.
JAP #1: I know. I mean, what else is there to do there?
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: jappygirl#3
JAP #1: Oh my gosh. Have you seen her lately?
JAP #2: No… Why?
JAP #1: She got fat!
JAP #2: Oh my god, but she moved to Westchester.
JAP #1: I know. I mean, what else is there to do there?
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: jappygirl#3
45-year-old woman: So I ended up shaving it, and it looks so pretty! It's like I'm ten years old again!
–Houlihans Restaurant
Overheard by: remembers when she was ten years old
Girl on cell: Wait. The dad shaves the son's ass?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy in shower to guy in the next: Man, I am never shaving my pubes again.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Guy with a bunch of tattoos: The sex was great, but she was psychotic. Every time I shaved she would accuse me of having had oral sex with another woman.
–86th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alan
British woman on cell: Are you shaving? Your face or your balls?
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Just around
Man handing out New York Post: New York Post! If you're illiterate, only 75 cents! If you only lookin at pictures, 50 cents!
–6th Ave & W 8th St
Overheard by: lady v
Man selling cotton candy: Get your cotton candy here! Cotton candy! I got your all-natural blue fibers of sugar right here! Straight from the blue cotton fields of…Virginia! Cotton candy, here!
–Shea Stadium
Street perfume seller to browser: You like Vera Wang, princess? This is genuine Wang.
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Weary Communter
Street vendor: Hey, where are you ladies from? (two teenage girls walk by) Oh, that's cool, that's cool, I think I have a friend that lives there!
–7th & 40th
Overheard by: Tiffany
AM New York guy: Sir, would you like a paper this morning? No? No? (shakes head and looks at the ground) I don't care. (pause) It's okay, I don't care.
–145th & St. Nich
Overheard by: sorry charlie
Fake purse salesman: Gucci makes the coochie go woo woo!
–Times Square
Man with four traffic cones slung over his shoulder: They took our fuckin' cones, man.
Friend: They what?
Man: I'm taking our fuckin' cones back. They stole our fuckin' cones.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Yuppie mom to crying daughter: Sophie, put your jacket on or you're going to get sick and have to get shots!
Detached father: Yeah, ten shots…and they'll hurt.
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Overheard by: Samskiii
Snooty middle-aged woman to gaggle of friends: I don't care about the rest of the city, I only care about my street.
–NoHo
Overheard by: me too
Middle-aged white guy to receptionist: I am glad to be out of the old neighborhood, though. Not that I am prejudiced, but the Hassidim, I just don't like them!
–Dentist Office, Carroll Gardens
Suit: I mean, he lives on 86th Street. That's just generic land!
–L Train
Girl (loudly to friends): No, that's Bushwick. We don't want to get off there! It's really shi… (glances around nervously at people who are now looking at her) I had…a shitty… experience in Bushwick.
–L Train
Overheard by: Rebecca
Hipster guy: And look out, cuz Williamsburg's still hood, dude!
–23rd St & 8th St
Overheard by: alex
Thug: Yo, man! What color are my nipples? What color are my nipples?!
–LaGuardia High School
Teen to friend: Calm yo black nipples! Calm yo black nipples!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hairy pink nipples
Girl to friends: The idea of some machine sucking on my nipples just terrifies me!
–Bathroom, NYU
Overheard by: Trying to pee in peace
Random girl: Yeah, I have like four nipples.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Nameless
Tall beautiful 30-year-old curvaceous brunette in stockings and pumps on cell: I was like: "you're preaching about non-violence and you're touching my nipple!"
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Janusz
Guy to friend: Dude, I'm working on a new house song right now. It's going to kick ass. It's called "Google It". It goes "Googleit, Googleit, Googleit…"
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Ian
Two guys: Ladies and gentlemen, we are not asking for any money, we just want to sing a little Linkin Park. (they proceed to jump around and sing Linkin Park)
–Uptown N Train
Overheard by: Hametuka
Hipster to friend: Flava Flav…yeah, he's like that skinny guy in Lord of the Rings…you know… "my precioussss…" Yeah… That's him…just a darker version.
–Subway, Brooklyn
Preteen: I won't beat my wife! I listen to Bob Marley!
–E 21st St b/w 1st & 2nd
Dude (matter-of-factly): Crazy northerners…don't quite understand that we're aware of how to speak English in the South. We just choose to say things cooler. That's why Southern rap sounds so much cooler.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: another misunderstood southerner
Middle aged tourist woman: Have you heard all of these Country Western songs about little girls recently? There's like four of them, and they're all really good too!
–Pinkberry, Bleecker b/w MacDougal & Sullivan
Overheard by: Jason
Jersey man: Look, Houston Street!
Daughter: Daddy, it's “house-ton.”
Jersey man: Tomato, toe-mah-to.
Daughter: You're so bridge and tunnel it's disgusting.
–Houston St
Girl #1: I didn't think that Newark was actually a place. I thought it was just an airport and a factory. But apparently it has, like, government-funded housing or something.
Girl #2: So, like, poor people?
Girl #1: Yeah!
–Greenwich Village
