Wednesday One-Liners Would Shoot Jodie Foster to Impress You

Girl on cell: You have a mini what? Stalker? (pause) Do you mean "mini" like a little person? Or like only partial stalking?

–Park Ave & 77th St

Woman to friend: No wonder that guy is stalking you! You told him everywhere you were going!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sarah

Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, hold on a minute. I gotta cross the street to stalk this girl.

–Times Square

Overheard by: creeped out

Mother to daughter, indignantly: No, it's not stalking! It's called being resourceful.

–16th St & 9th Ave

Posted on August 18, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Girls, Harassment, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Street, Suits, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

…Believe It or Not.

Girl #1: Let's go to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
Girl #2: Sure, I would love to meet him.

–Times Square

Posted on August 17, 2010
Girls, Offers and requests, Stupidity, Times Square

I Mean, I Assume You Were Talking About on My Vagina.

Hair salon promo girl to blonde and brunette girls: Hey there! Do you live in New York? Are you interested in getting a great haircut?
Blonde girl: I don't have any hair.

–Times Square

Posted on August 17, 2010
Clerks, Girls, Hair, Physical appearance, Questions, Times Square

I Don't Know. Would a New Husband?

30-something woman: Okay, I've changed my mind…
Uninterested-looking husband: Thank god… Does the new one works?

–Timer Square

Overheard by: Shoaib

Posted on August 8, 2010
Body Parts, Comebacks, Couples, Questions, Times Square

Should You Shave Your Wednesday One-Liners? Discuss.

Guy on cell, to girlfriend: I have such a headache in my balls right now.

–49th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Very drunk boyfriend to drunk girlfriend: If you can't stay here, talk to me and make this right! I'm gonna have to be a man, grow some balls and leave you!

–140th St & Broadway

Man on crowded sidewalk: Balls to butts, people. Balls to butts.

–Times Square

Girl to friends: I'd totally teabag him, but I don't got no balls.

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on July 28, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Balls, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Couples, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sexuality, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners

Now That's Audacity

Man giving out Obama condoms: Here, have some condoms!
18-year-old girl: No thanks, I get them for free.
Man giving out Obama condoms: But these ones are flavored with hope!

–Times Square

Overheard by: kms1234567890

Posted on July 26, 2010
Condoms, Democrats, Free stuff!, Girls, Offers and requests, President, Times Square

Towelie: I Am So Wednesday One-Linered Right Now

Wide-eyed woman on cell: Is it the drugs that are doing this to me?

–St Mark's & Ave A

Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!

–Delancey St

Professor: Take that Ritalin-Scotch-heroin cocktail… With a pop-tart!

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Flyer guy: Anyone want to help support my drug habit?

–Times Square

Girl with group of friends: You can be a responsible drug addict… I had two jobs and went to college.

–Jane & 4th St

Overheard by: M Tod

Barnard girl: So my grandparents gave me one of those Visa gift card things for $50 for Valentine's Day… What the fuck am I going to spend $50 on, if it's not drugs?

–The Diana Center, Barnard College

Stephen Colbert, after flubbing a line during filming: I'm high. (audience laughs) Don't blog that!

–Colbert Report Studios, 54th St

Overheard by: Allison

Posted on July 21, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, B-List, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Education, Family Ties, Flyer people, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Heroin, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Laughter, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Panhandling, Questions, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sorority Girls, Street, Teachers/Professors, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Should Have Hired a Sherpa

Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: oliver

Tourist to companion: We've left the village now, but I don't think this is Soho.

–Stanton & Orchard

Middle-aged woman in sharp looking suit: I thought Croatia was an Asian country in Europe.

–4 Train

Woman to friends: I had four kids today label New York in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I am such a great teacher.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Mickey and Gabe

Posted on July 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Directions, Education, Friends, Kids, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

James Earl Jones Takes Himself a Little Too Seriously

Comedy show peddler with very deep voice: Hey, do you guys want to see a comedy show?
Teenage girl, making fun of his voice: No!
Comedy show peddler: Why the hell not?!
Teenage girl: We hate comedy!
Comedy show peddler: Goddamnit, what the hell is wrong with you?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lauren