The Critics Are Raving About Wednesday One-Liners!

30-something man to girlfriend: I liked it. I mean, it really made me think: if twenty years from now I went in a hot tub and was transported back to today, what would I tell myself to do with my life?

–23rd St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: drose

Dad to teenage children: I wouldn't see Twilight if my life depended on it. If I had to choose, I would choose to die.

–Times Square

Acting professor: Did you see how Brando picked up her glove? He wanted her to stay. Do you ever do that? Take someone's things just so you know they'll come back? (dead silence) Guess you kids just aren't devious like me…

–Tisch School of the Arts

Older man to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?

–Clearview Cinema, Chelsea

Posted on October 6, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, College, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Dads, Death, Education, Film, Movie Theaters, Movies, Old People, Questions, Street, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Time, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Just As Nostradamus Predicted.

Teen girl #1, walking by poster for Vanessa Hudgens news movie: There's that high school girl, playing the exact same role but in a different film.
Teen girl #2, very seriously: Life after High School Musical is never pretty.

–Times Square

Posted on October 5, 2010
Film, Jobs & Careers, Movies, Teens, Times Square

Wednesday One-Diners

Fashionista: Y'know, it was just one of those restaurants that served bone marrow, because, like, they should be serving bone marrow.

–Allen & Delancy

Overheard by: wba2101

Jersey mom in purple jumpsuit: Ah, I love this part of New York. In one block you have an Olive Garden and a TGI Friday's.

–Times Square

Girl: Johnny Rockets my ass! If I wanted to go to the 1960s I'd use a fucking time machine!

–8th St & Greene

Drunk guy, wisely: No, people who eat on trains can't afford Chipotle!

–Uptown A Train

20-something guy to sobbing 20-something girl: It's okay, there's a Burger King right around here.

–4th St & Ave B

Posted on September 22, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, B & T, Crying, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Fashionistas, Food, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Lower East Side, Moms, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Street, Stupidity, Time, Times Square, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

I Had a Long Conversation with One While I Was Shrooming the Other Day

Girl #1: So, like Buddhist worship cows. They feel like they are sacred and don't eat them, or milk them, or nothing…
Girl #2: Aw, shit! For real?
Girl #1: Yeah, most of them are vegetarians. They don't eat anything that's alive, or has a soul, or something… Cause you can be reincarnated into something you can eat.
Girl #2: So what do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1, staring blankly: What?
Girl #2: What do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1: They're vegetarians! (giggles) Fuck! Vegetables! (rolls eyes, then laughs)
Girl #2, looking oddly: But trees are alive.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Brownsugarwater

Posted on August 21, 2010
Animals & Nature, Buddha, Girls, Times Square, Trees and plants, Vegetarian & Vegan

Wednesday One-Liners Would Shoot Jodie Foster to Impress You

Girl on cell: You have a mini what? Stalker? (pause) Do you mean "mini" like a little person? Or like only partial stalking?

–Park Ave & 77th St

Woman to friend: No wonder that guy is stalking you! You told him everywhere you were going!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sarah

Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, hold on a minute. I gotta cross the street to stalk this girl.

–Times Square

Overheard by: creeped out

Mother to daughter, indignantly: No, it's not stalking! It's called being resourceful.

–16th St & 9th Ave

Posted on August 18, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Girls, Harassment, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Street, Suits, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

…Believe It or Not.

Girl #1: Let's go to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
Girl #2: Sure, I would love to meet him.

–Times Square

Posted on August 17, 2010
Girls, Offers and requests, Stupidity, Times Square

I Mean, I Assume You Were Talking About on My Vagina.

Hair salon promo girl to blonde and brunette girls: Hey there! Do you live in New York? Are you interested in getting a great haircut?
Blonde girl: I don't have any hair.

–Times Square

Posted on August 17, 2010
Clerks, Girls, Hair, Physical appearance, Questions, Times Square

I Don't Know. Would a New Husband?

30-something woman: Okay, I've changed my mind…
Uninterested-looking husband: Thank god… Does the new one works?

–Timer Square

Overheard by: Shoaib

Posted on August 8, 2010
Body Parts, Comebacks, Couples, Questions, Times Square

Should You Shave Your Wednesday One-Liners? Discuss.

Guy on cell, to girlfriend: I have such a headache in my balls right now.

–49th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Very drunk boyfriend to drunk girlfriend: If you can't stay here, talk to me and make this right! I'm gonna have to be a man, grow some balls and leave you!

–140th St & Broadway

Man on crowded sidewalk: Balls to butts, people. Balls to butts.

–Times Square

Girl to friends: I'd totally teabag him, but I don't got no balls.

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on July 28, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Balls, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Couples, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sexuality, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners

Now That's Audacity

Man giving out Obama condoms: Here, have some condoms!
18-year-old girl: No thanks, I get them for free.
Man giving out Obama condoms: But these ones are flavored with hope!

–Times Square

Overheard by: kms1234567890

Posted on July 26, 2010
Condoms, Democrats, Free stuff!, Girls, Offers and requests, President, Times Square