Cute girl on Penn station escalator: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!
–NJ Transit
Man in running gear on cell: I never get to, but I'm going to try again. I just hope I don't cry!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and under my armpit.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: porter
Bartender: I'll bet he cries when he masturbates.
–MacDougal & W 3rd
Overheard by: Greg
Woman to friends: My vagina is leaking tears right now.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Zoe
Teenage black girl to white guy and black girlfriend: Take her to Red Lobster! Red Lobster is the best. It's like an expensive date restaurant.
50-something black guy, interrupting: Red Lobster? Are you fucking serious? Red Lobster is fast food!
Teenage girl, after rethinking: Well… There's a Denny's in Brooklyn.
–LIRR
Guidette: This weekend I'm going on a fat diet.
Disinterested guy: True.
Guidette: Suzanne Somers did it…I can't believe it worked.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Shaggy
Conductor: Tickets, please.
Ghetto commuter woman: What's taking so long?
Conductor: (no response)
Ghetto commuter women: Hello? Can you answer me?
Conductor: Can I just have your ticket?
Ghetto commuter woman: Hold on. Youse a rude-ass motherfucker.
Conductor: That's it, get off my train.
Ghetto commuter woman: Youse still a rude-ass motherfucker!
–LIRR
Overheard by: hungover commuter
Male yuppie to female yuppie: So milfs are totally in right now.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Lolita
20-something male yuppie, surrounded with Starbucks coffee containers and yelling at laptop: It took you six fucking minutes to get to the fucking page! Rawwwr! I'm going to rip you apart, you stupid fucking computer! Rawwr!
–Starbucks
Yuppie-hipster mom, to sobbing toddler: Yeah, I know, your life is just so tough.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: It's because those hemp diapers you make her wear chafe like hell.
Yuppie woman: This is like the Third World!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam Chalek
Rich girl: So yeah, we just got back from the club.
Black guy: Oh, yeah?
Rich girl's friend: Um, excuse me…
Black guy: Excuse me! I'm talking to her, not you. You're the ugly one, remember?
(phone rings) Yo. Hey, man. Oh, nothin'. Just talking to a couple white hos.
Rich girl's friend: What?
Rich girl: Stop bein' such an ugly white ho, Danielle.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Just another white ho.
Boy on cell on platform: So yeah, I'll be there soon…I'm at the… um… The um… The… what do you call it? I'm waiting for the umm, and I'm at the… (sighs) What do you call it?
Girl next to him, whispering loudly: Traaaaiiinnn statiiionnnnn!
Girl next to her, yelling: Platform, train station, waiting for a train!
(Boy walks away still on phone)
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Gabriela
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Conductor #1: Please remove your personal belongings from unoccupied seats to allow other passengers to sit.
Conductor #2: Okay, Hitler.
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ames
