Wednesday One-Liners Have the Reich Stuff

Fat guy in telephone booth: Yeah, well, Hitler invented the Volkswagen bus.

–7th Ave & Waverly

Overheard by: Mark Martin

Woman in alpine hat to another: I was not about to drag your half-conscious ass around a concentration camp!

–Zum Schneider German Restaurant/Bar

Overheard by: Nella

Guy: Jury duty is like the Holocaust. They put you in line and march you into a strange room.

–Off The Wagon Restaurant

Overheard by: thankfully not jewish

Teen boy: Yeah, after I watched that movie I couldn't talk to German people at all. For like a month afterwards, every time I saw a person who looked German I was like, "you evil, evil Nazi!"

–Bull Statue, Bowling Green

Little boy to friends: And next year, we're going to assassinate Hitler!

–66th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on June 24, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Fat People, Foreigners, Friends, Glad the Condom Broke, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Movies, Murder, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Time, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Meet the Wednesday One-Liners Who Wrecked the Economy

Suit on cell: I mean, imagine our mothers in Playboy…

–Borders, Penn Station

Overheard by: I'd Rather Not

50-something suit to others: Ya, we sold ten bags of herb and made $100.

–Wall St & William St

Overheard by: Mike D

Suit on cell: Hey, mom! Ma! 7 cents! You owe me 7 cents!

–5th Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Katie

30-something suit to hot female: I can't reassure you about your body while we're in bed, because that would imply that there's something going on between us.

–W Broadway & Houston

Man in suit: Every day I try to do something out of my comfort zone, like hanging out with you.

–Broadway & Murray St

Posted on June 17, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Body Parts, Crime and Punishment, Dating, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Porn, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness

Mechanical Bull-Riding Can Be a Life-Changing Experience

Young lisping female suit: It wath juth onthe, and it wath totally mechanical!
Young non-lisping female suit: Well, at least it was something!

–Wall St Platform

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on June 14, 2009
Language Barrier, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Like, a Nice Little Silver Clutch with Tassels?

Suit #1: Dude, could you imagine if, like, there was no paper money? And instead, all we had was coins made of some metallic elements?
Suit #2: Whoa, that would be pretty hot.
Suit #1, laughing: Yeah! (frowning) Except what if you wanted to carry $200 around with you? You'd have to carry like 200 coins.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: Then you'd probably have to carry around a purse.
Suit #2: Oh.
Suit #1: But couldn't you just imagine…?

–Fulton & Pearl

Posted on May 28, 2009
Laughter, Money & Class, Questions, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wishes & desires

If You Put a Bunch Of Them in a Wheel You Could Solve the Energy Crisis

Girl to friend: She's been out ice skating with her sister for two hours…how the hell does a five-year-old ice skate for three hours?
Friend: I know, right? Kids are like hamsters.

–John St

Posted on May 26, 2009
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Kids, Sports, Time, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

You Should Hear Their Rendition Of “Baby Got Back”

Little girl: I like to (inabudible)! I like to (inaudible)!
Asian nanny, singing: I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!

–Church & White St

Overheard by: OUch Eezy

Posted on May 23, 2009
Asians, Kids, Singing, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Browsing

Flamboyant foreigner: I changed my MySpace to say I like girls.

–Washington Square Park

Suit on cell: I'm gonna twitter my fucking ass off tonight.

–City Hall

Overheard by: Samantha Sharifi

Girl on cell: Do they not have people in the US that follow the Blue Book? They have to get some guy from Oxford butt fuck to do it? It's so annoying. It's so annoying! Like, I want to take a strap on and fuck my computer. Well, not my computer, but the guy's computer, for having done this to me.

–11th St & 5th Ave

Middle aged African American woman to group of friends: I'm going on MySpace to comment that she abandoned her child!

–8th Ave & 42nd St

Businesswoman to friend: I just like having a family, you know? And you can't get that on Craigslist.

–33rd St.

Overheard by: Rio

High school girl with iPod: Do you think this church has Wi-Fi?

–St. Paul's Catholic Church

Posted on May 20, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Black People, Church, Computer, Dildos and Vibrators, Family Ties, Foreigners, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Insults, Internet, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Myspace, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Sex, Sexuality, Sorority Girls, Street, Suits, Theater, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

With Wednesday One-Liners Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

Guy pouring himself cup of coffee to guy watching: You and I just really need to have a huge fight. I think that's the only way we can truly be friends.

–Fox News Breakroom

Overheard by: CreateEvity

College girl on cell: I'm a real-life imaginary friend to two different people.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Am I Imaginary?

Soft-spoken thug on cell: I don't want to upset my baby momma, but I don't want to lose you as a friend.

–123rd & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Girl on phone: His name isn't CJ, it's JP. He wants to be friends with me, I'm gonna friend the heck outta him!

–Lafayette & White

Loud gay guy: So he asks me, "are we still just friends?" and I'm like, "umm, your dick was just in my mouth. Thats not what just friends do."

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Ricardo the Sex Machine

Suit to hot chick: So what's your take on the bottled water companies? Friend or foe?

–Odeon, Thomas & Broadway

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on May 20, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, BJs, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Fighting and ass kicking, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Nicknames & name calling, Office, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Suits, Thugs, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Lord, I Was Born a Ramblin' Wednesday One-Liner

Chick on cell: Are you sure this is a sex trip and not a "meet-my-parents" trip?

–14th St

Overheard by: Argopelter

Laughing woman on cell: I'm going to be so busy when I get back! My week of relaxation is just going to be ruined by a hurricane.

–Starbucks, Park Ave South & 29th

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy to three hot girls carrying luggage: Oh, hello, ladies. I also travel! What a coincidence! (girls walk away laughing) You can run! I will find you! It's only a matter of time!

–Financial District

Black woman on phone: Ya, man, I just got back from Miami. Shit, I'm still jet lagged!

–Wendy's, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: oh really?

Blonde girl on plane to another: I figured out on this trip that if you pack your lightest clothes on the bottom of your suitcase it will weigh less! Coming in, my suitcase weighed 54 pounds, and going home it only weighed 46! (second blonde nods knowingly)

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: Meagan O.

Hobo: Hey girls, could you spare some change? Please? It's for my Hawaii fund! I'm gonna wear a bikini and dance the hula. And fuck it, I'm freezing my butt off!

–University Place & 10th St

Overheard by: queenofscots

Posted on May 13, 2009
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Black People, Brooklyn, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Hobos, Holidays, Homeless, Insults, Jobs & Careers, LaGuardia Airport, Laughter, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Panhandling, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Science, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners– Now in Small, Regular and Porn Star

20-something girl: And then they had another raffle and I won another 30 minutes of free porn and a vibrator.

–Chelsea Market

Overheard by: eSong

Man, talking to himself in the park: I don't discriminate against women. Women discriminate against me. Why? Because they have all different kinds of dildos.

–City Hall Park

Salesman, shouting to man with girlfriend: Have you been neglecting your butthole lately? I'm selling some nice greasy vibrators here!

–34th St

Overheard by: Jessica

30-something balding man on cell: Dildo and show…

–14th & 3rd

Woman to friends posing for picture: 1…2…3…say: "sex toys!"

–West Village

Mythology professor: Ares was a bit stupid, so Aphrodite was pretty much the brains of that operation. For her, he was basically just a living dildo.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Sarah