20-something guy: Dave, are you Superman?
Dave: Yeah, I am!
20-something guy, screaming: See? See? Your whole thing goes down the shitter.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Touche
20-something guy: Dave, are you Superman?
Dave: Yeah, I am!
20-something guy, screaming: See? See? Your whole thing goes down the shitter.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Touche
Girl: What if I started saying “ahoy!” instead of “hello”?
Group of girls: Ahoy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Pirate at Heart
Girl #1: Say it! My boobs are juicy and delicious!
Girl #2: No!
Girl #1: Come on, say it! You know it's true!
–91st St & Madison
Girl on train #1: Yeah, that was when I was snorting coke out of Maya's fake nails.
Girl on train #2, appalled: Ew! That's so dirty!
Girl on train #1: It was spring break in Mexico, everything was dirty.
Girl on train #2, shrugging: True.
–A Train
Huge black guy #1: Oh man, they have a wonderful exfoliator. It's wonderful!
Huge black guy #2: Oh, yeah man. You know where we got to go? It's this place called lush!
–Time Warner Center
Girl to friend: I helped a tourist the other day. That's not me, I'm a bitch.
Hobo, eavesdropping : Yeah, you are.
Girl: What?
Hobo: You're a bitch.
–Union Square
British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu!
–Bleecker & Grove
Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields?
–Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Jason K.
Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it!
–Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Sara
Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes!
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth!
–Olive Garden
Overheard by: EthanK
Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered?
–Time Square
Large woman attempting to sit down: Y'all better slide down, cause my ass is wide!
–Downtown 4 Train
Overheard by: squished
Limping black hobo to preppy white male: Maaaaan…what's that got to do with wiping yo' ass?
–10th Ave b/w 50th & 51st
Middle aged man to daughter: Come on, let's go look for baby bottle butt!
–H Mart
Professor: I got excited because another man touched my ass in public!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Haven't we all?
Seated man to mom letting her child run around restaurant: Your daughter just put her hand in my butt crack.
–Park Slope
Teacher to colleagues: When a student acts up a second time, I always throw something at the window and then do something like this (goes into fetal position and starts rocking) at my desk. I mean…these are first graders! You need them to think you're crazy from the very beginning, or you'll have a horrible year!
–Bar, Smith & Sackett
Paper baggin' hobo: I'm not sure who's crazier: me, or this beer. It's 23 degrees outside, and I'm drinking a cold beer!
–Jackie Robinson Park
Overheard by: Ian
High pitched 20-something girl to empty block: I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, here!
–58th & 7th
Female student on cell: Did you know him? (pause) Oh. Well, did Kate* know him? (pause) What? You girls are crazy! Yeah, you'd better lock your door!
–Fordham University
Man on cell: I'm feeling pretty good today. That's usually when I go off the deep end.
–Prince & Elizabeth
Hot Latina: He doesn't look like someone I'd want to fuck. But neither does my boyfriend… Well, depending on what he's wearing.
–3rd Ave & 46th St
Overheard by: SillyUrn
Girl to friend: If my boyfriend ever asked me to do that, I would get a new boyfriend, preferably the blow-up one that I already have in my bed.
–Dorm, NYU
Overheard by: amused
Girl in leopard print pajamas: My boyfriend is the voice on Dora the Explorer. Name dropped.
–Elevator, NYU
Overheard by: babaganoush the great
Teen boy on cell: Hi, Lisa, it's Matt. Sarah and I were just talking about how much you love tools, so I went to Home Depot today and picked you up a new boyfriend.
–N Train
Overheard by: SueCity
Yuppie to friends: So my boyfriend called me last night and asked me, "Hey, do you even know my name?" and I said, "Well…no."
–1 Train
Overheard by: yams
