Or So I've Read in the Encyclopedia Entry on “Sex”

Student #1: Well, one reason that we see a lot of tongues in Japanese monster culture might be because of an inherent aversion to bodily fluids! Like I heard Japanese people take showers before and after sex.
Student #2: Plus, in Hentai there's always way more fluids in the sex scenes than there really should be.
Student #3: Besides, there's a lot of tongue use in sex.
Professor: Well, why do you suppose that is?
Student #3: Because you like, lick stuff! Jeez!

–East Asian Studies Class, Columbia University

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Posted on March 24, 2009
Body Parts, Classroom, Cleanliness, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Licking, School and studying, Sex, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

Thank Goodness There Are Drugs That Allow Us to Have These Experiences

Punk school girl: You know what would be really cool? If you took a shit, and then it started talking to you!
Hipster friend: Yeah! Imagine if it started talking in a different language! Like, “Nihao! Ching gong shit!”

–Morningside Park

Posted on March 24, 2009
Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Language Barrier, Parks, Poop, Punks, Weirdness

Melissa? Iiiiiinteresting.

EMT #1, to vomiting wino: What's your name?
Wino: Dennis.
EMT #1: Dennis? Okay, Dennis, we're gonna…
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #1: What?
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #2: Well, what's your name when you're not drunk?

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Rachel Silver

Posted on March 24, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, EMTs, Names, Questions, Street, The Village, Weirdness

Why Are We Even Talking When We Could Be Texting?

NYU girl #1: That's super cas.
NYU girl #2: That's a super abrev.

–Lafayette Residence Hall

Posted on March 22, 2009
Residence halls, Sorority Girls, Weirdness, Words

…Conspiring to Bring About Their Own Destruction

Crazy old black dude: I never heard of a white Taliban CIA.
Crazy young black dude: Yeah?
Crazy old black dude: Yeah. But now you know they out there.

–J Train

Overheard by: *c

Posted on March 22, 2009
Black People, Crazies, Government, Guys, On the Subway, Race, Terrorism, Weirdness

Cell Service Is Lousy in Heaven, but Great in Hell

Bimbette: Yeah, I never really heard from him since his funeral.
Friend: Did you say his funeral?
Bimbette: Yeah, it was sooo sad.
Friend: His funeral?
Bimbette: Sheesh, bitch, get a hearing aid!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Joel Moore

Posted on March 20, 2009
Bimbettes, Death, Friends, Insults, Penn Station, Questions, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are Pelving Thrusting in Your Direction

Woman to friend: I woke up, and he was fucking my ear! Fucking my ear! Fuck. Ing. My. Ear!

–Walker & Canal

Overheard by: office peon

Girl on cell: So yeah, he just kinda turned to her, handed her some napkins and told her to prepare herself for a good fingering.

–New Jersey Transit

Girl in school hallway: Nasty little tenth graders having sex in the stairwells…

–Bard High School Early College

Guy to another: There's only three things people need in this world. Sex. Food. (pause) Yeah, okay, that's it.

–125th & Lexington

Student #1: (makes elaborate point with with ample hand gesticulation)
Student #2: Oh wow. You just made love to me with words.

–113th & Broadway

Crazy lady: Santa ain't comin' to Brooklyn! And I'll be drunk tomorrow, don't you ring my bell! (gets off train and leaves bag. 20-something guy gives it to her) Have we had sex before!? We should have sex! I like you! (doors start closing) We should really have sex!

–C Train

Posted on March 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Chinatown, College, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Ew, Jersey, Food, Foreplay, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Public Transportation, School and studying, Sex, Street, Students, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

The United Colors Of Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie to French friend: That's the first thing you learn in husband school. Unless you really like doing the laundry, the first time you do it turn everything pink. The second time, turn everything pink.

–Metro-North Line

Overheard by: 2,563 times later my dad still turns everything pink

Teen girl: I love the color brown an' shit.

–86th St & 4th Ave, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Jon A.

Suit to another: Oh, Charlie, don't you know not to wear green on Thursdays?

–Flatiron Building

Stoned guy: Whoa, it's the roygbiv, like, having a threesome.

–Dream House, Tribeca

Brunette: I saw a mess of pink and black on the floor, and I knew it was Michelle.

–Jake's Dilemma Bar

Overheard by: TCS

Posted on March 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Marriage, Murray Hill and Gramercy, One-liners, Questions, Stoners, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Three is Company, Trains Not Subway, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yuppies

Wednesday Pleads Down to One-Liners

Thuggish Asian watching Cops in store window: Yo, the one without the shirt is always guilty.

–College Point

Teen girl on cell: I tried biting some people, I got arrested.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon

Very loud and drunk crackhead to friend: I don't care who you are. Everybody goes to jail some time.

–Hoyt & Warren, Brooklyn

Pharmacist on phone: Oh my, is she okay? (pause) That's when you got arrested on the plane?
(pause) At Fort Dix!?

–Drugstore, 6th Ave

Overheard by: Transit161

Friend to another, yelling across street: Good luck with your rape case…I know it wasn't you!

–Centre & Grand

Overheard by: jzjmrdangerdowntown

Small boy, singing to himself: Goodbye, everybody say goodbye… To Chris Brown…'cuz he smacked a woman and he's going to jail.

–Barnard College

Posted on March 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Assholes, Brooklyn, Chinatown, Clerks, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Kids, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Prison, Queens, Questions, Rape, Singing, Store, Teens, Thugs, TV, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Star in Dude, Where's My Brother?

Black man handing out leaflets: Your feet are like chicken nuggets, and I want to eat them!

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: Alex Bailey

Father to toddler: Well, what if I go crazy and bite your butt off?

–M&M World Store

Hispanic man to friends: Yo, man–I eat that pussy from *behind*!

–61st & 3rd

NYU guy: No, I don't condone cannibalism. Though I could see why you think I would.

–NYU Elevator

Overheard by: queenofscots

Posted on March 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Babies, Black People, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Crazy, Dads, Elevators, Food, Frat Boys, Friends, Kids, Latinos, Licking, Men, NYU, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Store, Street, The Village, Upper East Side, Vagina, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Weirdness