Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Hipster girl: So I keep thinking inanimate objects are things.
Friend: They are things.
Hipster girl: I mean like thinking things.
–NYU
Little girl to her father: Stop telling me that! I’m not adopted!
Father: But sometimes I wish you were.
–Multiplex Cinemas, Flushing
Overheard by: Ms. Hazard
Black girl #1: So why did you decide to come to New York?
Black girl #2: Because I hate white people.
–NYU
Overheard by: Cracker Apparently In the Wrong City
Hardhat #1, feigning retching: Bleaahhhhhh!
Hardhat #2, laughing: Yeah, but truth be told, ain’t no one throw up as smooth as I do. Do you know anyone smoother?
Hardhat #1: You right, you do throw up smooth.
–Construction Site, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Barry
Four-year-old girl screaming: IT IS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT BACK!
Shockingly calm but exhausted Dad: No Sarah, it is OUR money.
Sarah [chanting over and over while stomping her feet.]: IT IS MY MONEY! I WANT IT BACK!
–Bank, Madison Ave & E 65th
Overheard by: Christina
Man: Hey, can I ask you just one question?
Woman: You just did. [keeps walking.]
–36th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Cop: There are no downtown express trains! I repeat, there are no downtown express trains. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the President of the United States!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Trixie
Suit on cell: The problem with Canada is that it’s not the U.S.
–129th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Koen
Black guy on cell: Yeah, what is Condoleezza Rice, anyway? I think she’s Puerto Rican or Dominican. She’s definitely not American.
–Barnes & Noble, W 66th St
Black guy to white friend eating lunch: Ah, yes, the American dream: doing nothing while eating a sandwich.
–Stuyvesant High
Hobo: Thirty-two-gallon garbage can — who wants this beautiful 32-gallon garbage can? Made right here in the US-of-A! Come on, people! It’s an American product at Mexican prices. Now, what’s my first bid?
–4th Ave & Atlantic
Overheard by: Mike N
Large black lady on cell: I know, right? Osama bin Laden is like the Uncle Sam of America!
–CVS Pharmacy
Perfume guy: Gucci! Gucci! Gucci’ll get you a hoochie!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: alison
Woman selling belongings on street: Look here, deodorant! Brand new! One dollar.
–44th, between Lex & 3rd
Hawker with "Cheney/Satan ’08" bumper stickers: Inappropriate stickers here!
–Outside Grand Central
Musician to passerby eating cookie: If you like cookies, you’ll love my new album!
–9th & 6th
Overheard by: Gil
AM New York lady to another: Bitch, don’t be comin’ over here! AM New York, people — get your AM New York! Fuck you, you bitch, I been here since seven AM every day this week. Don’t be givin’ me that shit. Get your lazy ass off my corner ‘fore I cut you! Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! AM New York, people, AM New York…
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BJ
Comedy hawker: Free bag of marijuana with your purchase! Yaaay!
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Sarah R
Professor: Old people will sign anything.
–Brooklyn College
Professor: What do you guys think of this poster? It annoys me. I would wear this on a t-shirt just to annoy people.
–Pratt Institute
Sociology professor: New York is a megalopolis, while Boston is only a metropolis, although Bostonites would argue that… Bostonites… Bostoners… Bostonians? Pshhh, whatever.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Philosophy professor, drawing: Here is the world… Here are some birds… And people. Here’s someone… Here’s someone hitting someone with an ax. Some people do axings… Some people don’t.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: no axings!
Old professor with French accent: Hot climate is associated in this book with passion or sex. I think that I, for example, really never did have sex in a sub-zero temperature.
–NYU Cantor Film Center
Overheard by: suddenly surrounded by students’ awkward snickers
Sociology professor: I’ll tell you a story that most people laugh hysterically at, but it actually makes me really sad… Kind of like Napoleon Dynamite.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
