Professor: He was more bohemian and unconventional.
White bimbo: What's “bohemian”?
Asian bimbo: He's from Bohemia, duh.
–City College
Overheard by: nella
Professor: He was more bohemian and unconventional.
White bimbo: What's “bohemian”?
Asian bimbo: He's from Bohemia, duh.
–City College
Overheard by: nella
White girl: Opera.
Salvadoran guy: Like the black chick?
White girl: No, that's Oprah.
–Lawton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eric Frazier
Eight-year-old boy, matter-of-factly, to dorky dad: Mexican people like to put animals on their shoulders.
–108 St & Broadway
Black guy to white woman: Anyway, it turns out–and this is really weird–in Texas, they hate Mexicans as much as they hate African Americans!
–17th St & 8th Ave
Man to another: I just want to be gang-raped by a group of Latinos.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Mike
Exasperated woman to friend: And this is why I don't interfere when it comes to Mexicans!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Green Star
10-year-old to friend: You have the same name as a short, fat Mexican boy!
–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick
Latino gay to white gay: You have good genes, you just don't have the Latino gene that makes your face moisturize naturally. I'm like the Dick Clark of faggotry!
–12th & 1st
Overheard by: H-Bomb
Teen to friend: Make sure that you're in Guatemalan mode.
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Professor: My name is John, but some people call me Godzilla!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: Nas T. Pezz
Middle school student to friend: Nike was probably invented by a guy named like Nathaniel Ike. Get it? N. Ike.
–Marymount School
White woman on cell: So do I call you Wayne? Weezy? Lil?
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: kdice
Thug to another: What?! Upstate?! Nigga, no no no! Hell no! I ain't trustin no nigga named Chad. Who the fuck names a nigga Chad?
–F Train
Man on cell: Aw, come on! You shittin' me. Ain't no muthafucka named "gay-org!"
–5th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: manhattman
Teen girl on cell: My name is "princess," not "yo!"
–B61 Bus, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tastypaper
Conductor: This is Carrol Street, named after my ex-wife, Carrol Garden. She was great.
–F Train
Barefoot hobo: World War II was the best day of my life til my big sista was born in 1812. That was them Spaniard War… (silence, then in a really loud voice) Dammit, who stole my chicken?
Nervous white woman to friend, whispering: That's what happens when you send your kids to public school… (a minute later) Did he even have chicken?
–F Train
Drunk girl to friend: No, 'cause my kids are gonna be city kids and your kids are gonna be country kids and my kids aren't gonna wanna talk to your kids!
–University Place & 12th
Overheard by: Mikalena
Drunk white girl: Who owns New York City? Who's got it on lock down more than Jay-Z?
–8th St & 3rd Ave
Drunken girl to friend: He's divorced. Is it okay if I fuck him?
–E 14th St
Overheard by: Mimi
Drunken bro, stumbling into hookah bar with friends: Do you think they have penis flavor?!
–Hookah Bar, 1st Ave
Drunk frat boy, sitting in trash can, drinking Bacardi Mojito bottle: This is the end man! This is the fucking end!
–Church & Canal
Overheard by: Ben
Drunk girl on phone: Hello? What happened? Your dad died? Oh…what? Your dog died? Oh, I though you said your dad died. Wait…are you laughing or crying? Cuz if you're crying, I hate you. Sorry, I'm on the train right now, and I'm drunk off my ass.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Igor Petrov
White hipster teen, about basketball team: So are you guys good?
White hipster friend: Yeah, dude! I mean, we win against like black schools and shit. We just beat Brooklyn Friends last week.
White hipster teen: Dude, Brooklyn Friends is not a black school! Brooklyn Friends is a Quaker school!
–60th St & Amsterdam
Old white guy #1, examining model building with acorn-topped pillars: They look like penises.
Old white guy #2: Yep.
–New York Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: that's what she said?
Black woman with baby, after being pushed by white woman entering crowded subway: Do you not see the baby?
White woman: Yes, I saw the baby!
Black woman: No, you didn't, because you were pushing your titties on the baby!
(white woman ignores her)
Black woman to man next to her: You! Get yo ass out of my baby's face!
–F Train
Overheard by: What's a sombrero?
White dude to black friend: Do you want to see my meat?
Asian dude, to no one in particular: You know, the stereotype isn't true. It isn't true!
Flustered party hostess: This is so not what I need to hear right now.
–W 11th St
