Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.

–N train, Astoria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eckerd, Astoria

Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St entrance, FDR

Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.

–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Stephen and Allison

Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!

–New York Public Library

Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library

Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.

–114th & Broadway

Posted on January 4, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Celebrities, D-List, Fashion, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Language Barrier, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, Parents, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Queers, Terrorism, Topics, Tourists, Trannies, TV, Women

You Dork! It’s Wednesday One-liners

Guy: So in your fantasy life you’re a scholar? That’s ridiculous!

–Williamsburg party

Store guy: I love maps! I could look at maps all day. Maps, and Playboy.

–Barnes & Noble, W. 82nd Street

Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie

Guy on cell: Dude, we should bring lightsabers!…I brought my lightsaber for the last two…

–27th & 3rd

Chick: I could get 100 phone numbers in one night if I went to a sci-fi convention!

–Serendipity, E. 60th Street

Overheard by: Djlindee

Posted on January 3, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, One-liners, Pop Culture, Stupidity

Wednesday One-liners, M.D.

Girl on cell: Face eating tumor. Did you hear me? Face eating tumor!

–Grand Central

Posted on January 2, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Girls, Grand Central, Health and Hygiene, One-liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Scarlett Johansson's Wearing Wednesday One-Liners This Season

(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat!

–Uptown 1 Train

Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak.

–Mott St

Overheard by: robin

Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is.

–Thompson Street, SoHo

Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid.

–Near Herald Square

Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Sarah

History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one.

–Millennium High School

Overheard by: Adriana

Posted on January 1, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Asians, Ass, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Classroom, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Fashion, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Guys, Insults, Jews, Names, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, S&M, Soho, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The Unusual Proclivities of Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Give me a break, she’s into scat! She’ll eat shit, but she won’t lick some ketchup off my hand?

–Folsom Street East

Hipster chick: I didn’t get spat on. I wanted to real bad. But it didn’t happen.

–3rd & St. Marks

Overheard by: robothater

Posted on January 1, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Food, Hipsters, Kink, Poop

Wednesday One-Liners Thought “Elemeno” Was a Letter

Lady on cell: Yes, that’s right. N as in ‘Nancy,’ M as in ‘umbrella’…

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Conductor: This is a downtown V train — V as in ‘vasectomy.’

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Kim

MTA announcement: The next train is a Brooklyn-bound C train. C as in ‘Shelly.’

–59th St station

Overheard by: Trey Givens

Loud man on cell: No, no, her name starts with an F… No, F… F like in ‘phonics’! What? It doesn’t? Oh, well, I guess you could spell it that way, too.

–L train

Loudspeaker: This is the B-as-in-‘badass’ train. Transfer to the D and Four.

–Yankee Stadium station

Ghetto girl on cell: C… No! C — like the last letter in ‘New York.’

–103rd & Lex

Posted on December 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

Wednesday One-Liners for Young, Urban Professionals

Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on.

–Downtown C train

Overheard by: amused passenger

Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen.

–43rd & Lex

Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate!

–42nd & 5th Avenue

Overheard by: Reader Rabbit

Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht

Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino?

–McDonald’s, 34th & 10th

Posted on December 28, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Coffee, Money & Class, Strippers, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Yuppies

Just a Little Bit Of Wednesday One-Liner Repeating

Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Peter R.

Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.

–Grand Central Station

Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.

–Pommes Frites

History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.

–High School

Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!

–High School, Lower Manhattan

Overheard by: SzN31

Posted on December 27, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Grand Central, History & Geography, Idiots, Kids, Lower Manhattan, Moms, Murder, Museum of Natural History, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sex, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Liquid Assets Of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!

–Metro North

Overheard by: Anna

Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.

–Troy Ave & Park Place

Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…

–3rd & 6th

Overheard by: j

Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!

–Broadway & 54th St

Overheard by: Loren

Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.

–42nd St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Robin

Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)

–Starbucks, Times Square

Overheard by: ellie

Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?

–East Village

Posted on December 16, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Conductors, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Fat People, Friends, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Starbucks, Suits, Time, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vegetarian & Vegan, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners: Now with Coloring Placemat Menus

Small child in large line of kids to woman carrying first-aid kit: Hey, Miss Cynthia, I can’t wait to disappear!

–Lawton St, & Bushwick Ave, Brooklyn

Boy pointing at guy dressed as Statue of Liberty: We waited this whole time just to see that?!

–Line for Statue of Liberty, Battery Park

Little girl: Daddy! I’m hard!

–Blockbuster

Overheard by: Abram

Small boy: Mommy, you sit over there next to Grandma, and I’ll sit over here next to myself.

–Brooklyn-bound F train

Overheard by: post-modern self-identity is a funny thing

Sobbing little boy in stroller to mother: Why can’t you just settle me dowwwn?!

–48th St & Madison

Overheard by: Micaela

Posted on December 13, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Glad the Condom Broke, Kids, Should've Used a Condom

All Wednesday One-Liners