Tragically Hip Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.

–Bowery & Bleecker

Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!

Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Shan

Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?

–4th Ave & 13th St

Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.

–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University

Overheard by: helenathegreat

Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!

–Columbus Circle

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Shoes, Singing, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners for Tammany Hall

Girl with Obama pin: Oh my god, I can't believe I spent this whole night hanging out with a Republican!

–104th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Emily

Guy to friends: There's only one thing I want him to shove down my throat, and it's not his Republican ideals.

–43rd & 8th

Gov't. Teacher: Sometimes you wanna smack a moderate.

–Curtis High School, Staten Island

Overheard by: jules

Woman: I blame McCain for the snow.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Philip & Richard

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Democrats, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Politics, Staten Island, Teachers/Professors, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday All-Your-2,000-Parts Liners

Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!

–84th & 3rd

Overheard by: Laura

Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!

–Times Square

Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.

–111th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.

–West End & 77th St

Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?

–University Place

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boys, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Handicaps, Health and Hygiene, Men, Old People, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Sex, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

…Because You're Swallowing That.

Girl eating falafel: This is the grossest thing I've ever had in my mouth.
Boyfriend: Really? Are you sure?

–1st Ave

Posted on July 1, 2010
BJs, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Ethnic Food, Manhattan

Wednesday One-Liners Sharpen Their Elbows

Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?

–Times Square

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.

–N Train

Overheard by: Thinking about switching

Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Samantha Chastain

Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!

–F Train

Posted on June 23, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Conductors, Girls, Guys, Names, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Times Square, Tourists, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wait– What?

Skinny chick #1: Shut up, bitch! I can totally see your rib cage.
Skinny chick #2: Well, that's only because I have a skinny rib cage!

–Plumm Bar, West Village

Overheard by: everyone wants to be fat, but not really

Posted on June 21, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Diet/Weight, Girls, Insults, Physical appearance, Skinny People, West Village

Wasn't This an Episode Of Criminal Intent?

Curator: These were done in live performances. Yves Klein actually used bodies to create these pieces!
Woman: Oh my god!
Curator, smiling: Yeah.
Woman, with horrified expression: Dead bodies!?
Curator: No, live people. (proceeds to laugh awkwardly)

–MoMA

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on June 20, 2010
Body Parts, Clerks, Death, Laughter, MoMA, Visual Art, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday's Always on the Wrong Side Of the One-Liner

Conductor, as train finally leaves the station after long delay: Listen people, do not hold the doors open! I'm going to send y'all to your room!

–2 Train

Train conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. Attention everyone, the doors are stuck and will not be closing anytime soon. Please stand clear of the closing doors.

–G Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Conductor: Sir, please remove your head from the closing doors!

–Downtown B Train

Train conductor: Please do not hold the train doors open. I will stop this train and make everyone get off if you keep holding the doors. Then the other passengers will be very mad at you. If you really want to hold the doors open, get a job with the MTA, and then you can hold them open until the cows come home.

–E Train

Overheard by: Ally

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please wait for the doors to completely close before leaning on them. Please do not lean on the doors.

–N Train

Overheard by: erkala

Conductor: This is the 7 train. Get ready to jump off. Easy on, easy off. No one's been holding any doors. Good job, people!

–7 Train

Overheard by: Jeff L.

Posted on June 16, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Compliments, Conductors, Directions, Jobs & Careers, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Some Girls Ask to Be Walked on

College girl: He's married and all, but he's really, really hot.
College boy: Isn't he like 50?
College girl: His feet are like size 14. I'm just saying.

–Times Square

Overheard by: soxie

Posted on June 14, 2010
Age/Aging, Beauty, Body Parts, Frat Boys, Height, Sorority Girls, Times Square

Body Parts