Professor: Any urban legends, anyone?
Student: Sure. New York City: the city that never sleeps.
Professor: Hum… and how is that a urban legend?
Student: Well, it does sleep.
–New York Institute of Technology
Overheard by: Vivianne Mayonnaise
Professor: Any urban legends, anyone?
Student: Sure. New York City: the city that never sleeps.
Professor: Hum… and how is that a urban legend?
Student: Well, it does sleep.
–New York Institute of Technology
Overheard by: Vivianne Mayonnaise
Professor: My name is John, but some people call me Godzilla!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: Nas T. Pezz
Middle school student to friend: Nike was probably invented by a guy named like Nathaniel Ike. Get it? N. Ike.
–Marymount School
White woman on cell: So do I call you Wayne? Weezy? Lil?
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: kdice
Thug to another: What?! Upstate?! Nigga, no no no! Hell no! I ain't trustin no nigga named Chad. Who the fuck names a nigga Chad?
–F Train
Man on cell: Aw, come on! You shittin' me. Ain't no muthafucka named "gay-org!"
–5th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: manhattman
Teen girl on cell: My name is "princess," not "yo!"
–B61 Bus, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tastypaper
Conductor: This is Carrol Street, named after my ex-wife, Carrol Garden. She was great.
–F Train
Student to professor: Yeah, man, you know, because every time I slap you five, now I feel like I'm slapping your father's ass.
–Suffolk County Community College
Overheard by: Wish I was paying attention
Trashy sista' on cell: Did you know you've been nominated for an award? (pause) Yeah, I know! I mean, it's just nice to even be nominated, issa' honor. Yeah, you wanna know whacha been nominated for? You been nominated for the world's biggest deadbeat daddy!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: I don't work here
Demi-bum to another, looking at postcards at a convenience store: Oh, I want to send a postcard to my father: Doing shitty, wish you cared!
–Fulton & Water
Teen girl to friend: Of course I got him tested!…but he wasn't the father either.
–145th & Broadway
Guard: Did you hear about that 9-year-old girl who gave birth to her own twin? I'm serious! It was inside her stomach and then she gave birth to it. And the craziest part is that the twin was from another father!
–74th & Madison
Latina girl to friend: You know, I don't even know what I saw in that loser. I should've dumped his ass the first time he tried hitting on my dad!
–58th & 6th
Overheard by: Tim J.
Elderly woman to Bulldog: If you were human, you would be a male model.
–44th & 3rd
Female on phone, trying to be discrete: I could take a million pictures without makeup and I could make it on the cover of Vogue. I am telling you I just want a model agent to come up to me and say "you are gorgeous, I want you to model." I know I have what it takes!
–Outside Bobst Library
Overheard by: V Liebs
Scrawny short dude: You know, I like the model-type chicks.
–Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Battery Park city mom, about son: He's not even four and he can earn as much from one commercial as he can from a year of modeling.
–World Trade Centre Plaza
Girl walking around with a camera: People get so awkward when you're carrying around a camera. Come on people! Give me something I can use here! You are all models!
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: apparently a model
Drawing professor: I'm not allowed to sleep with the models.
–Pratt Institute
Girl selling at bake sale #1: This is so stupid. No one wants anything.
Security guard: That's cause you're doin' it all wrong.
Girl selling at bake sale #2: Oh yeah? What should we do?
Security guard: Next person that passes, be like “Yo! I got your brownie!” then when they come over, give it to them and be like “Aight, that's two dollars.”
–Manhattan College, The Bronx
Professor, holding up student's essay: This person made over three dozen grammatical errors on their essay.
Student, to another next to him: Oh my god…that means twelve!
–John Jay College
Overheard by: Erica
Dark-haired coed: So, oh my gosh! Wait! How big was it?
Blonde coed: Uhhh, yeah, oh…he was actually pretty small. Like, I only felt it, but…
Dark-haired coed: Oh my gosh! So, like, how small was it? Like a tootsie roll, or a cat's tail, or…
Blonde coed: Umm…I guess it could've been…maybe a tiny bit thicker than a cat tail. But, really, it was so so small and thin.
–FIT
20-something female on cell: But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
–23rd St & 5th Ave
Customer, after placing order: …with hardboiled eggs.
Gay waiter: Hardboiled eggs smell like dirty assholes, an I've seen a few dirty assholes.
–Denny's
Overheard by: student-19
Preppy guy on cell: No, dude! I don't know, like…like really dirty girls.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Anne
12-year-old boy to mother: The bum, you know! The dirty man that plays with me.
–Forest Parkway
Overheard by: Jason A
Guy dancing on new lawn: This isn't even good grass! It's dirty, yo!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Recycling activist: I myself used to be a plastic bottle!
–Outside BLT Burger, 6th Ave
Overheard by: sromeo
Student: Why the fuck are people still building greenhouses if we have the greenhouse effect?
–Columbia University
20-something to friend: I don't understand the sudden concern about global warming…I mean, it's what happened at the end of the Ice Age!
–LaGuardia Community College, Long Island
Overheard by: lulah
Greenpeace worker: Hey! Do you fucking care about the environment?
–Washington Square Park
Greenpeace guy, with puppy dog face: Are you sad about the trees?
–78th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: citysnidget
Professor: Let's take a poll: who thinks I am gay?
–Lehman College
Flamboyant gay guy to butch gay guy: You, like, sneeze glitter. That's how gay you are!
–9th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: TR
Daughter to sobbing mother: Mom! Seriously, stop! I'm going to slap you. (mom continues sobbing) I'm not gay! Relax, okay?
–New Utrecht High School
Overheard by: Straight girl
Tween girl to friend: He's 17 years old and he doesn't have any kids? What? Is he gay?
–A Train
Teenage boy: Even if it's with a girl, it's still gay.
–L Train
Overheard by: Sean
