Girls

Wednesday One-Liners Won’t Remember This Tomorrow

Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].

–Metro North

Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!

–A Train

Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!

–A Train

Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…

–33rd & Broadway

Overheard by: voluptuousgrl

Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!

–Madison Square Garden Bathroom

Wait! Is It Going Above 137th Street?

White chick #1: Excuse me, is there an uptown train to 168th at this station?
White chick #2: Yeah, but the subways aren't running above 137th, they've cut the power lines. Take the M4 up Broadway.
White chick #1: Okay, but there is an uptown 1 train at this station, correct?
White chick #2: Yes, but at the moment it's not working. They kicked us off at 137th and told us to take the bus.
White chick #1: So there isn't an uptown train at this station?
White chick #2: (silence, walks away)

–137th & Broadway

You Always Were Ahead Of the Curve, Suzanne.

Girl: I'm not going home straight.
Boy: I think you mean “I'm not going straight home.”
Girl: No. I mean “I'm not going home straight.”

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

I, Too, Am Tired of Imaginary Perfumes

Girl #1, sniffing perfumes: I like the second one better.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s more real, and it won’t make you feel like you’re seducing him into thinking you’re a cookie.

–Lingerie store, 66th & Broadway

John the Apostle Only Alludes to It Cryptically

Guy: There’s a Bennigan’s here now?
Girl: Sure, New York’s getting everything: Bennigan’s, Outback, Applebee’s, Chevy’s.
Guy: Who knew the four horsemen of the apocalypse were chain restaurants?

–48th & 8th

Overheard by: Amanda

Or I’ll Never Finish This Clay Ashtray before Our Exam Time Is Up

Chick #1: How many colors are in two rainbows?
Chick #2: Shut up, Kimberly!

–NYU

Overheard by: Clara

What Happens to Hugh Hefner's Exes, 20 Years Later

Girl #1: Wow, the Easter Bunny stuffed animals are on sale.
Girl #2: Let's buy some for your sister.
Crazy lady: You can buy one bunny. You can buy lots of bunnies! And then they'll take you away!

–Duene Reade

Overheard by: Bunny Attack?

Big, Chewy Mouthfuls of Food-like Goodness

NYU girl #1: I like PowerBars.
NYU girl #2: I like Cliff Bars.
NYU girl #3: But the thing with all those bars is you have to chew them so much.
NYU girl #1: That’s why I like them — I feel like I’m actually eating something.

–Waverly Pl

Overheard by: Mae

Laguna Beach, Encapsulated

Girl #1: Do you like money? Cause I like money!
Girl #2: I like money, I really like money!
Girl #3: No, no, no, I love money! I love it!

–6th Ave & 26th St, Outside Nightspot

Overheard by: Lynchbeast

But I’m a Sucker for Anything Involving Kittens

Large black guy #1: Yo, check out that chick’s earrings.
Large black guy #2: Damn, they even match her outfit.
Large black guy #1: That’s, like, a whole new level of matching.
Large black guy #2, to girl: Yo, did you make those?
Girl: No, my sister did.
Large black guy #2: I reeeally like those.

–1 train

Overheard by: i like them too

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist