A blind woman and her dog are making their way into a Duane Reade through the “Out” door, with difficulty to keep the door open. Behind them is a WASP lady, waiting to get in.
Blind woman: Good, good, now make a hard left, to the counter, to the counter.
WASP lady: Idiots.
–74th & 3rd
Chick #1: I’m telling you, he’s gay! He wouldn’t even make out with me when I, like, threw myself at him!
Chick #2: You needed to see yourself, though. You looked like a mess.
Chick #1: Fuck you, cunt.
Chick #2: I love you.
Chick #1: I tell ya, if anyone ever hung around us they’d commit us both!
Chick #2: Or just you.
Chick #1: I don’t want to be friends anymore.
–Houston & 2nd Ave
Unfortunate-looking guy: …and I met this girl there so I'm pretty excited to go back.
Female friend: Is she blind?
Unfortunate-looking guy: No, she's actually a brunette and she's got freckles.
Female friend: No, I asked you if she was blind.
Unfortunate-looking guy: I missed you so much.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lauren
Woman on cell: Oh, and by the way, I called my mother to thank her. (pause) No, I said, "Mom, I'm calling on behalf of me and the girls to thank you very much." (longer pause) Well, she can just go fuck herself then.
–90th & Amsterdam Ave
Man on cell: You know a guy really likes a girl when he takes her home to meet his mom…and you know what, Sheila? You ain't never gonna meet my mom.
–South Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smfd
Female college student to friend: We really need to cougarize your mom.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Oh really
Guy: So, hey, my mom didn't die today.
–W 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Katie_AK
Girl sneaking into open conductor's room in front of the train: Next stop, your mother's asshole! Stand clear of the closing cheeks!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Adriana
Handbag seller on street corner: Yo! Tell yo mama I got her bag right here!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Taryn
Girl on cell: Yeah, I'm bussin' it for now, my mom's on this thing that I have to show her responsibility… I know, it's like I get up in the morning, I haven't gotten arrested in a while, and I have a job, what more do you want from me?
–Seguine Ave & Waterbury, Staten Island
Woman walking against massive subway crowd: Woah, this is fun. Hey, everybody!
Man, after passing her: Fuck you, lady.
–Lorimer Stop
Overheard by: richhorner.com
Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.
–125th St station
Overheard by: Solar
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
Chick #1: You were way too hard on my dad back there.
Chick #2: I know, I’m sorry… I just get so heated.
Chick #1: Still, “homophobic asshole” is a little harsh, don’t you think?
–Park Row
Bleached blonde #1: He’s totally cheating on me.
Bleached blonde #2: Yeah, with his wife. I don’t think that counts.
Bleached blonde #1: It totally does. The bastard.
–Carnegie Hall
Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.
–Park Terrace West, Inwood
Overheard by: Gringo Starr
Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.
–F Train
Overheard by: Brent
Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?
–Colombus Circle
Overheard by: Graham Davis
JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.
–92nd & 5th
Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: CytoFox
Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!
–Flatbush & Fulton
Overheard by: Chelsea
