“Do You Ever Get That Not-So-Wednesday-One-Liner Feeling?”

Girl on cell at register: It's like… If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. (pause) If it doesn't? Well then baby, fuck that nigga, cuz he was a douchebag anyway.

–Deli, Brooklyn

Girl: It sounds douchey. But not like "douchebag" douchey. Like "Summer's Eve" douchey.

–Tribeca

Man to another, on Halloween: Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: T.J.

Hipster dude, sarcastically to others: I love douchebag bars.

–Outside Puck Fair

Overheard by: Is this the definition of irony?

Posted on November 28, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Delis, Girls, Hipsters, Insults, Love, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Philosophy, Stupidity, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Transactional Analysis in the Ghetto

Voice over speaker phone: Bitch, I tol’ you stay away! I tol’ you back off! Bitch!
Girl, very calmly: That kinda attitude is why your man is eatin’ my pussy.

–Washington & Lafayette, Clinton Hill

Overheard by: nmf

Posted on November 25, 2014
Assholes, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Eating Out, Fighting and ass kicking, Ghetto Chicks, Insults

Actually, Sis, Evil Means Victory!

Little sister: Mommy, she called me stupid!
Big sister: No I didn’t, I called you evil.
Little sister: Evil means stupid.
Mommy: You are both annoying.

–Key Food, Prospect Heights

Posted on November 25, 2014
Grocery Stores, Insults, Kids, Moms, Sisters, Words

“Now” Being from My Birth Onward

Bimbette #1: Yeah, her roommate totally has a beard. It’s, like, hairy on her face.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god!
Bimbette #1: I know! She also wears, like, purple eyeshadow.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god!
Bimbette #1: I know! I am so mean right now.

–W 49th & Broadway

Posted on November 23, 2014
Bimbettes, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

From the Director's Cut Of Thelma and Louisa

Drunk girl on bike #1: How's your nose?
Drunk girl on bike #2: How's your neck?
Drunk girl on bike #1: Hey, all I'm saying is that I'd rather get a hickey from a random boy I don't know than break my nose by falling off my bike. (falls off her bike) Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Girl #2: How's your fucking nose now, whore?

–NYU

Posted on November 22, 2014
Body Parts, Drunks, Girls, Hook Ups, Insults, NYU, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Expand Their Fecabulary

Cyclist: So he was all, "my shit is your shit," and I thought, "that's the most romantic thing I've heard."

–Central Park

Dude on cell, checking out sunblock: They don't have shit here. SPF 15 is too high!

–Duane Reade, Flushing

Toddler that dropped his toy: Oh, shit!

–7th Ave, Park Slope

10-year-old boy to friend: That was like the first time I ever took a shit in a public bathroom.

–2nd Ave & 9th St

Man in baggy jeans walking with gusto: Oh, yes, oh yeah. She wanted my shiiit… She wanted my shit!

–6 Train

Chick to friends: He is totally going to shit a tampon!

–84th St & Amsterdam

Posted on November 21, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Athletes, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Duane Reade, Friends, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Love, Men, Menstruation, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Parks, Poop, Street, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

No Shit

Emo: Do you do anal?
JAP fox: Uh, no, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't do it, just hasn't come up yet.
Emo to another girl: Do you do anal?
Another girl: Bitch! I can't even take a shit.

–Special Boutique, 2nd & Bedford

Overheard by: Este

Posted on November 21, 2014
Backdoor, Girls, Insults, JAPs, Poop, Questions, Store, Teens, The Village

Aw, It's Almost Like a Christmas Atmosphere!

Patriot: Happy motherfucking America Day, everyone!
20-something: It's called the 4th of July, dumbass.
Patriot: You shut your goddamn liberal commie bitch ass mouth, you fuckin terrorist!

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Graham Davis