At This Point in Time, I Have No Recollection Of Those Wednesday One-Liners

Girl: I only remember things when I insult them!

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

College dude: I remember this place… We were here last night right before I blacked out!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Amanda

Girl on cell: Okay, if you're stopping by my house, remember to bring that shirt you borrowed from me. Mmm-hmm. By the way, your husband wants to get it on with another dude.

–Union Square

Woman on cell: Alright, honey, have a fun bachelor party. Just promise me you'll get shit-faced, fall-on-your-ass drunk so you can't remember any of those strippers. Okay?

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Wait. What?

Posted on January 27, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Bronx Science, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Clothing, Drinking & Drunk People, Frat Boys, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Infidelity, Insults, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Sexuality, Strippers, The Bronx, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

…Where the Dead Look Is in Style.

Guy to girl with short skirt in freezing cold: Girl, you gonna catch your death.
Girl with short skirt: I'm in LA, bitch!

–Carmine & Bedford

Overheard by: MikeRoss

Posted on January 25, 2010
Advice, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Death, Girls, Guys, Insults, Weather

My Boyfriend Makes That Mistake in Bed All the Time.

NYU girl #1, failing to light her “cigarette”: What the fuck!?
NYU girl #2: Honey, that's your flash drive.

–Outside of Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on January 24, 2010
College, Gadgets, Insults, Smoking, Sorority Girls, Stupidity

Mom's Menu Has No Happy Ending Sundae

Tween: Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mother: What are you?
Tween, starting to sob: Stupid.
Mother: What kind of stupid?
Tween: Ten flavors of stupid.
Mom: And don't you fucking forget it!

–Battery Park City

Posted on January 21, 2010
Battery Park, Insults, Moms, Parents, Questions, Stupidity, Tweens

Dear Miss Manners…

Drunk girl #1: Excuse me! Can I bum a cigarette?
(annoyed woman hands her one while grumbling in Spanish)
Drunk girl #2: She said “puta”! She totally just called you a bitch!
Drunk girl #1: Well, I have the free cigarette, so who's the bitch now?

–42nd St & Lexington

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on January 19, 2010
Drunks, Free stuff!, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Smoking, Women

We Heart NY

Counter guy: Hey, hey, hey! You can't eat that in here!
Woman eating McDonald's directly from bag, raising middle finger: Sit on it. Spin. Call it daddy.

–Wendy's, 33rd & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Posted on January 18, 2010
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

10 Wednesdays I One-Liner About You

Extremely aggressive man, shouting and pointing at woman on cell: Do not! Ever! Refer to me as from fucking Baltimore! I fucking hate Baltimore!

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Female student, anxiously, to male friend: I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure I don't like 'em!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: eternal student

Flyer guy: Would you like to see a comedy..? Oh, it's you again! Why do you hate me?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sara

Hobo to passers-by: Join the He-Man woman haters club! Free membership!

–Park Ave & 31st St

Little boy, pointing with disgust at picture of Jay Leno on hot drink sleeve: Is this George Washington? I hate him!

–Hot'n'Crusty, Upper West Side

Posted on January 13, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Flyer people, Fordham, Free stuff!, Friends, Gripes, History & Geography, Hobos, Idiots, Insults, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Street, Students, Stupidity, Times Square, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Don't Torment the Homeless, Dude

Hobo: Spare some change, fine-lookin' sir?
Suit: Would your name by any chance be Henry?
Hobo: Do I look like a mothafuckin' Henry? Hell no!
Suit: Well, that would be a correct assumption, as Henrys are usually successful.
Hobo: Well then, are you a Henry?
Suit, proudly: Yeah.
Hobo: Spare some change, good-lookin' Henry?
Suit: Nah.

–1 Train

Overheard by: i could've been a henry

Posted on January 8, 2010
Compliments, Hobos, Insults, Names, On the Subway, Panhandling, Questions, Suits

You Are Not Snoop Dogg, Charlie

11-year-old white kid to friends, in loud whisper: I was so high last night, I don't remember Suzy* saying she liked me.
Nerd friend: You were high last night?
11-year-old white kid: Yeah, I've been high every night this week!
Nerd friend: On what?
11-year-old white kid: Last night coke, night before LSD, night before e, and then weed for two nights before that.
Nerd friend: That's so cool!
Nerd girl near him: Weed? You're such a jackass!

–L Train

Posted on January 8, 2010
Cocaine, Friends, Hard Drugs, Insults, Kids, Nerds, On the Subway, Weed

It's the Birth Defect Nobody Talks About

Snobby Upper East Side lady to obviously pregnant lady: There's no room in here! Ugh, move over! You're just too fat!
Pregnant lady, slightly baffled, What a bitch!
Snobby lady, with nose in the air: Yes, I am.

–6 Train

Overheard by: sara

Posted on January 1, 2010
Diet/Weight, Insults, On the Subway, Only in New York, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Women

Insults

At This Point in Time, I Have No Recollection Of Those Wednesday One-Liners

Don't Torment the Homeless, Dude