20-something tall black bellhop: I challenge you, right now, to a salsa dance-off.
70-year-old short Latino bellhop: Go get a radio.
–Peninsula Hotel
Overheard by: Carol
20-something tall black bellhop: I challenge you, right now, to a salsa dance-off.
70-year-old short Latino bellhop: Go get a radio.
–Peninsula Hotel
Overheard by: Carol
Guy: And I was thinking how lucky I was not to have had a bris. That guy had like eight of them!
–Thai Restaurant
Overheard by: sara swank
Girl: Wait, are you circumcised? In the penis?
–Wicked Monk, 86th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: christine
Beautiful Latina: But my dad getting circumcised at 57 wasn’t even the funniest thing!
–Dallas BBQ, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen on cell: So, they were going to uncircumcise it?
–Flatbush Ave & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Teen girl: Oh my god, my circumcised hot dog!
–The Summit School
Overheard by: Michael
CVS employee on cell: Yo, that nigga be gangsta son, he be gangsta. That nigga be circumcised, he all "what?" that nigga fall down, he be "waah, waah" then be be right back up playing an shit. Yeah, that nigga’s gangsta.
–CVS, 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Robyn
Shy sounding suit: You know how you get your fingerprints off the gun? You pee on it, the prints wipe right off. Most people don’t know that.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Two Fingaz
Dude: You’re starting to sound like that guy with the gun on your dad’s video.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Latina teenager to friend: I don’t know why we can’t be having duels anymore. Enough fighting! Just be, like: "Let’s have a duel!" and then go out and shoot each other!
–Rush Hour, L Train
Man on cell (waving his hand around in the shape of a gun): I’ve got a gun in my hand! Oh crap, I mean not a real one. I shouldn’t have said that out loud.
–32nd & 6th
Overheard by: sromeo
Self-important white girl: So then my friends started talking about the shooting up here, and I was like: "Screw you all, you didn’t even call up to find out if I was dead."
–126th & Lenox
Preaching hobo: This year they raise your rent. And the year after. Soon you have to shoot them. You know this.
–34th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Rent Controlled
Man: I understand remembering things differently. I just don’t understand how one could confuse being shot at with not being shot at.
–6th Ave & 3rd St, Park Slope
Tall Hispanic girl: Yeah, we talk in class a lot, Jen*’s a really nice girl!
Short Hispanic girl: Oh, I know, she has breast cancer!
–Woodhaven Boulevald, Queens
Overheard by: Lizzie
Jewish girl: I think my family likes me because I will fulfill my potential to be a pompous ass.
–NYU Bobst Library
Thirty-something Hispanic woman: All my nephews are boys… All of them.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Suze V
Girl on cell: Well then maybe you shouldn’t have fucked my sister!
–70 & Broadway
Girl on cell: …The half-Asian, half-Jewish guy. And she’s like: "My brother is so pissed at me!" and I’m like: "Of course he’s pissed, you’ve gotten with six of his friends."
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G
Guy: I’ve seen my sister-in law’s titties so many times…
–Yankee Stadium
Girl on cell: So the little girl at the wedding was like: "Are you guys brothers?" And I was like: "No, we fuck".
–24th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Amy
Little girl: Mommy, it’s snowing in my eyes!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: blistexaddict
Elderly Hispanic woman wading through snow: Skoosh! Shoosh! Skoosh! Wee! Skoosh!
–28th & Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Bus conductor in droning, somber voice: Ladies and gentlemen, due to inclement weather, the express trains are temporarily discontinued. [Suddenly sounding bright and chipper.] In other words, it’s cold outside, folks! So if you think you can just wait for the local, you wrong! So all y’all just get out the way o’ my doors and let’s go!
–4 Train
Drunk blonde: Omigod, is it like raining? There’s like water falling from the sky outside.
–LIRR
Girl on cell, on first nice day of spring: This weather just makes me want to drink…I have been sitting outside for ten minutes and all of a sudden I can’t get booze off my mind.
–72nd & Columbus
Pilot: Welcome on board flight number [mumble]… We have a 45 minute flight to Ithaca, New York, where the weather is [dramatic pause] fucking awful! Why you guys going there?
–LaGuardia Airport
Sad Latino dude: She said no.
Outraged Latino dude: What?!? How could she say no?! After all the time you spent thinking about her ass!
–Willoughby & Taafe, Brooklyn
Overheard by: jacob
Dreadlocked sales clerk: What I need is a bronze princess.
Latina sales clerk: I’m bronze.
Dreadlocked sales clerk: Yeah, but you ain’t a princess.
–Billionaire Boys Club, SoHO
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Obnoxious Latino #1: Man, that guy was such a faggot! With that mohawk and those gay-ass glasses.
Obnoxious Latino #2: Hey, I’m wearing the same glasses.
[Silence.]
–1 Train
Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see white people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man!
–C Train
Overheard by: Noelle
