Wednesday One-Liners: Over a Billion Served.

McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Blayne

Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?

–117th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jesse D

Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.

–W 49th & 5th

Overheard by: canucks

Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!

–Broadway & 4th St

Overheard by: Jalex Leoley

Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!

–Staten Island Ferry

Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: alana h.

Posted on August 19, 2009
Cars and Driving, Cashiers, Christians, Church, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Dating, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Laughter, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Movies, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Southerners, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesdays Wet Their One-Liners

Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!"

–Central Park

Overheard by: Quella

Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you!

–Women's Restroom, Port Authority

Overheard by: Amber Star

Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness?

–LIRR

Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them?

–1st. Ave & 7th St

Overheard by: Mike

Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy…

–C Train

Posted on August 12, 2009
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Central Park, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Dreams, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Horny, Laundromat, Movies, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Port Authority, Questions, Shoes, Street, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

All the World's a Wednesday, and the People Merely One-Liners

20-something man, during West Side Story, when Tony climbs in bed with Maria: Get it, son!

–Palace Theatre

Old man, leaving theater after seeing Hair: I told you we should have seen Mary Poppins.

–45th & 8th

Overheard by: Leela

Girl, looking at a barricaded rally: Oh my god, it is so Les Miz up in here.

–48th St & 6th Ave

Long Island woman to friend, leaving the theater after Mary Poppins: That wasn't anything like the movie. The movie had cartoons, this was real people.

–Amsterdam Theater, 42nd & Broadway

Overheard by: MikeyMouse

Man to friend, during Waiting for Godot: Oh my god, you know what would make me really pissed? I'd be so angry if that Godot guy didn't show up at the end of the play.

–Studio 54

Woman to husband, during Waiting for Godot: Is this a musical?

–Studio 54

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on August 5, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Broadway Shows, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Friends, Girls, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Old People, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Singing, Street, Stupidity, Theater, Theater & Dance, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Wonderful Thing About Tigger Is Tigger's Wonderful Thing

Teen brunette: And no, you cannot stand up in a meeting for worship and announce that you slept with Tigger.
Teen blonde: Yeah. Quakers are liberal, but not that liberal!

–Grand Central

Posted on August 1, 2009
Grand Central, Movies, Religion, Sex, Teens, Train Station, Weirdness

…Or Am I Thinking Of 2001-2008?

Queer #1: Let's go see a movie.
Queer #2: Okay… What do you want to see?
Queer #1: Let's go see Milk.
Queer #2: Isn't that about a retarded man who becomes President?

–Cosi, 15th St

Posted on July 31, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Film, Movies, Offers and requests, President, Queers, Retardation, Wishes & desires

“Twats on Broomsticks”? I Think We've Found Our Band Name!

Girl #1, before movie: I don't even know what this movie is about.
Girl #2: I told you already–it's based on these books, they're kind of like Harry Potter, except with vampires.
Girl #1, after movie: That was nothing like Harry Potter. Harry Potter is twats on broomsticks. That was softcore porn.

–AMC Loews

Posted on July 24, 2009
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, Movie Theaters, Movies, Porn, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Bitch, Say My Wednesday One-Liner!

Professor: My name is John, but some people call me Godzilla!

–Baruch College

Overheard by: Nas T. Pezz

Middle school student to friend: Nike was probably invented by a guy named like Nathaniel Ike. Get it? N. Ike.

–Marymount School

White woman on cell: So do I call you Wayne? Weezy? Lil?

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: kdice

Thug to another: What?! Upstate?! Nigga, no no no! Hell no! I ain't trustin no nigga named Chad. Who the fuck names a nigga Chad?

–F Train

Man on cell: Aw, come on! You shittin' me. Ain't no muthafucka named "gay-org!"

–5th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: manhattman

Teen girl on cell: My name is "princess," not "yo!"

–B61 Bus, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Tastypaper

Conductor: This is Carrol Street, named after my ex-wife, Carrol Garden. She was great.

–F Train

Posted on July 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Bus, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Directions, Family Ties, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Men, Movies, Names, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, School, Shoes, Street, Students, Stupidity, Subway conductors, Teachers/Professors, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Have Room in Their Closets Anymore

Gay guy to friend: I woke up this morning with a condom hanging out my butt. Was that you?

–Madison Square Park

Gay 30-something: Ugh, Borat quotes are like the UGG boot of conversation.

–Broadway & Spring

Really gay guy to friend: You don't know about the Holy Trinity? It's Liza, Judy and Barbra!

–Fort Washington Ave. & 183rd St

Overheard by: RED

Flamboyant gay: My hair's too straight. I need to gay it up a bit.

–Bryant Park

Flamboyant guy: My life in New York has been more fabulous than I ever thought! I almost hit Elaine Stritch with a car this weekend!

–W 18th St

Overheard by: Dan Friedman

Posted on July 15, 2009
About Celebrities, Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Bryant Park, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Hair, Madison Square Garden, Movies, Parks, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Shoes, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday and the World One-Liners With You, Cry and You Cry Alone

Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke!

–City Bakery, 18th St

Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart?

–W 96th & Broadway

Overheard by: Megan W.

Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face?

–42nd St

Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama.

–Manhattan Theatre Source

Overheard by: Emily B.

Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny!

–Union Square

20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious.

–Broadway & E 10th St

Overheard by: Timothy

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Farting & Burping, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Laughter, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Nudity, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pictures, President, Punch, Questions, Skaters, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Theater, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners

Was That Before or After the Ghostbusters Took Over the Statue Of Liberty?

Girl: Ohhhh, this is the building that King Kong climbed up, right?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Wow. That would have been so scary to live here when that happened!

–In Line for Elevator at Empire State Building

Overheard by: Bella

Posted on June 26, 2009
Elevators, Empire State Building, Fears, Girls, Guys, Movies, Questions, Stupidity

Movies