Wednesday One-Liners! They're Just Like Us!

Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?

–116th St & Broadway

Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!

–N6 Bus

Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?

Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.

–Midtown Office

Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size

Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.

–East Village

Posted on March 31, 2018
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Bus, Clothing, Columbia, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Creepsters, Dads, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Hipsters, JAPs, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Names, Nose Job, Offers and requests, Office, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Physical appearance, Shopping, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Linered…With Children

Old Jewish woman to very nervous Asian 25-year-old bride to be: Honey, I've been married 53 years. The secret to a great marriage? Give him lots of sex. Lots of good sex.

–Dumbo, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Tanya

Man on cell: I told her I would convert. We could go to Vegas and get married next week, no problem.

–64th & Amsterdam

Woman on phone: My ex-boyfriend was 24 and he was able to support me, and you're 35 on an engineer's salary and you can't do the same. Do you know how many guys are begging to marry me, and can give me a dowry? So fuck you!

–Target Store, Brooklyn

Hispanic woman on phone: So where are you now? You already married him? Oh, okay. See you later.

–28th & Park Avenue South

Overheard by: Alie

Five-year-old boy to teacher about five-year-old girl next to him: We're going to get married. (to five-year-old girl) What's your name again?

–61st & Amsterdam

Posted on February 20, 2018
Advice, Age/Aging, Asians, Brooklyn, Girls, Glad the Condom Broke, Insults, Jews, Kids, Latinos, Marriage, Men, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Store, Street, Teachers/Professors, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Voting Public, in a Nutshell

Drunk guy #1: Yeah, everyone says that if Obama gets elected, he'll get assassinated. But I don't know, man.
Drunk guy #2: Fuck it, I'm voting for John McClane.

–F Train

Posted on January 29, 2018
Default, Drunks, Guys, Movies, Murder, Names, On the Subway, Politics

When It Comes to Naming, New Yorkers Have No Equa

Teenage boy #1: I saw you with Shanequa yesterday.
Teenage boy #2: No, that was Tamequa.
Teenage boy #3: Man… If I meet another -equa I'm gonna kill somebody.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Zetspat

Posted on December 30, 2017
Brooklyn, Murder, Names, Teens, Threats

Should Have Given Up after ‘He Was an Aircraft’

Chick #1: Hey! Do you know Stanley?
Chick #2: Stanley…? No.
Chick #1: You know — he was an aircraft!
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: That the Russians put into space!
Chick #2: You mean… Sputnik?
Chick #1: Stanley, Sputnik, whatever…

–Union Square

Posted on November 3, 2017
Bimbettes, History & Geography, Names, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Hot Right Now

Big muscular man on cell: It's so damn hot, I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup.

–Outside Tribeca Deli

Overheard by: Akiko

Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it's hot!

–Downtown 1 Train

Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It's so hot my pussy is melting!

–12th & Broadway

Overheard by: lemchek

Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him!

–Thompson & W 3rd St

Guy: I'm telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something.

–Starbucks

Dude to friend: I wanna say she's hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover.

–The Village

Posted on October 5, 2017
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Conductors, Friends, Girls, Guys, Heat, Jocks, Makeup, Marriage, Men, Names, NYC Geography, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Starbucks, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Are You Sure One's Not Just a Teeny Bit More British?

Hipster guy: I can never tell the difference between Ralph Fiennes and Raif Fiennes.
Hipster girl: That's because they're the same person.

–W Train

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on September 21, 2017
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Hipsters, Names, On the Subway

Where Have All the Metrosexuals Gone?

Guy #1: I think I'm going to go to Fortunoff's after work tomorrow to get the ring.
Guy #2: Why don't you just go to that place around the corner? You know, uh… Stephanie's!
Guy #1: You mean Tiffany's?
Guy #2: Yeah! Tiffany's!

–Financial District

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

Posted on August 6, 2017
Fashion, Guys, Names, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The “Hello, My Name Is” Sticker Was the First Hint

Girlfriend snaps a photo of her tourist boyfriend, posing under a street sign.

Guy: Looking good, Perry.
Tourist: How did he know my…? Oh.

–Perry & Greenwich

Overheard by: Bonno

Posted on June 27, 2017
Names, Nicknames & name calling, Tourists, West Village

…Whoever You Are

Boy #1: What did you do last night?
Boy #2: I fucked what's-his-face last night.
Boy #1: You don't remember his name?
Boy #2: If it's under six inches, you don't get remembered!

–17th & 7th

Overheard by: Wyatt J

Posted on April 25, 2016
Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Height, Names, Nicknames & name calling, Questions, Sex

Names