Guy in full biking gear, streamlined helmet, on fancy racing bike: Up to 20 miles an hour, man!
Guy delivering Thai food on bike held together with duct tape, keeping pace with him: Race you to the corner!
–17th St b/w 7th & 8th
Guy in full biking gear, streamlined helmet, on fancy racing bike: Up to 20 miles an hour, man!
Guy delivering Thai food on bike held together with duct tape, keeping pace with him: Race you to the corner!
–17th St b/w 7th & 8th
Man yelling at children: If I see it I spank it!
–94th St & Columbus
Overheard by: olivia
Mother to complaining seven-year-old daughter: Let's pretend we're the Israelites wandering in the desert.
–42nd St & 8th Ave
Mom to child: If you do that again, I swear to god, I will make you ride outside! I will strap you to the wing and make you ride outside!
–JetBlue Plane, JFK Tarmac
Woman to small child looking at store window: Jean-Claude, you simply cannot be this demanding at two and a half!
–3rd Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Paula Katinas
Mother to screaming child: You are so mean! Who raised you? Wild animals? Indians?
–Greene St, SoHo
Overheard by: Mememonkey
Mom getting on subway to small kids: Well, now you know what "burlesque" means!
–1 Train
Hobo: Do you have a small sample?
Barista #1: We're not giving out any samples.
Hobo: Do you have a cup?
(barista hands him a cup, hobo starts to walk to back of store)
Barista #2: Sir, where are you going?
Hobo: To the bathroom.
Barista #2: We don't have a bathroom.
Hobo: Can I have some water?
Barista #2: No! And do not come back here! Have a nice day!
–Starbucks, Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals.
–Rckefeller Park
Overheard by: Maria
White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window.
–29th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Lace
Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world!
–74th St & Broadway
Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far?
–PATH
Black comedy show promoter: Do you want to see a comedy show tonight?
Teenage white girl: Um…no.
Black promoter: Come on. Do you even like black people?
Teenage white girl, with huge smile on her face: Why yes! I love black people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Haefster
20-something girl: And then they had another raffle and I won another 30 minutes of free porn and a vibrator.
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: eSong
Man, talking to himself in the park: I don't discriminate against women. Women discriminate against me. Why? Because they have all different kinds of dildos.
–City Hall Park
Salesman, shouting to man with girlfriend: Have you been neglecting your butthole lately? I'm selling some nice greasy vibrators here!
–34th St
Overheard by: Jessica
30-something balding man on cell: Dildo and show…
–14th & 3rd
Woman to friends posing for picture: 1…2…3…say: "sex toys!"
–West Village
Mythology professor: Ares was a bit stupid, so Aphrodite was pretty much the brains of that operation. For her, he was basically just a living dildo.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Sarah
Boy: Can you close the window?
Substitute teacher, jumping onto the windowsill: Sure.
(class stares in disbelief)
Substitute teacher: What, haven't you ever had a ninja for a teacher before?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Not Really…
Teen girl: Anna told me you liked me?
Teen guy: Yeah.
Teen girl: Why didn't you tell me or ask me out?
Teen guy: Well, I was afraid you would say no.
Teen girl: Why don't you ask me now and see what I say?
Teen guy: Do you want to go out sometime?
Teen girl: Sorry, no.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Hugh
Guy: Please give me a quickie…maybe in the bathroom?
Girl: You just bought me coffee…let me finish it first.
Guy: The coffee can't wait?
Girl: It's a hell of a lot better than a quickie in the bathroom.
–Mimi's Cafe, Church & Chambers
Young woman: Do you need help crossing the street?
Elderly woman: No. It's fucking red.
–96th & Broadway
Overheard by: Meghan
