Woman: In Central Park right now, the Mormons are in full bloom!
–Bandshell, Central Park
Overheard by: Mojosaves
Chick to boyfriend: I could really use some Viagra, maybe I can get some from my grandpa. (pause) Wait, never mind, he's Mormon.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Girl: What do the Mormons have against gay people? Is it because the gays dress better? I mean, Mormons only like to wear white shirts and black pants.
–Uptown A Train
Deliriously drunk woman: I was Mormon!
–Times Square
Woman: We're going downtown, but north towards the city.
Tourist mother (gawking): What are you talking about?
Tourist little boy (tugging on her pants): Mommy, Brooklyn is upside down!
–F Train
Young thugette #1: If I was old enough to vote when George Bush got elected, I'd be pissed…how's gas gonna be five dollars?
Young thugette #2: For two bucks I used to get half a turkey.
Young thugette #1 (screaming to entire train car): Vote or die, bitches!
–1 Train
Asian dude, adoringly: Honestly, if you were a guy, you would date you.
Asian chick: No.
Asian dude: Why?
Asian chick: I'm so good in bed. I intimidate me.
–E Train
Overheard by: Injun Mofo
Lady, about gentleman's twin sister: Is she still married?
Gentleman: Unfortunately. I keep telling her, if she'd just shot him fifteen years ago, she'd be out of jail by now. She's not any better off now.
–G Train
Overheard by: Meghan M.
Guy to begging bag lady: Somebody stinks!
Begging bag lady, over her shoulder: Somebody could lose some weight!
–Uptown C Train
Chubby teen with big ass: Guess what, mom…I have a new nickname.
Parent: What is it?
Chubby teen with big ass: They call me “tiny tush.” Whenever I see them they go, “hey, look, it's tiny tush!”
–F Train
College girl: So, where are you from?
Indian guy: I'm from Bombay.
College girl: Is that, like, close to Pompeii?
–F Train
Young boy, pointing out the subway window at the Gowanus Canal: Look, mom, a lake!
Mom: That ain't no lake! That's where the dookie comes out!
–F Train
Overheard by: jenmarie
Tourist looking at a subway map, drawing a line with his finger: Where does this train go?
New Yorker : Exactly where you just pointed.
–B Train
