Girl to guy friend: Ohmigod, I accidentally walked in on my mom while she was doing it last night!
Guy: Super nasty. I'd hate to see that.
Girl: Actually, mom was holding it down. I think I could learn some moves from her.
Guy: What? How long did you watch?
Girl: It was nothing, like ten minutes.
–33rd St & Lexington
Overheard by: tinydancer
Woman #1: You know, when I remember my childhood, I realize that my family was really complicated; my father and uncle were always fighting… Actually, my uncle tried to shoot my father once –
Woman #2: Wait, what?
Woman #1: Listen, that’s not the complicated part.
–Westside Brewery, Upper West Side
Overheard by: vitupera
Three-year-old girl, singing loudly: It's hot and it's cold, it's yes and it's no, we fight we break up, and kiss and make up.
Mom, sounding desperate: Please…please just go stand over there.
–Bathroom, Intrepid Museum
Dad: I won't tell mommy about the donut you're eating if you don't tell mommy about the cigarette I'm about to smoke.
Daughter: Okay.
–Coffee Shop, Park Slope
Boy: Hey Dad, you wanna hear what I learned today? “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas”, and every word tells you the name of a planet! Wanna try it? OK, I’ll say the word, and you tell me which planet it means. Ready? My…
Father: Mars.
Boy: Right. Very…
Father: Venus.
Boy: Uh huh. Educated…
Father: Uh…Earth?
Boy: Yep. Mother…
Father: The Moon.
Boy: Yep.
–7 train
Overheard by: Mikey
Boy on cell: We took the bus to 9th Avenue and I saw a guy lying there with only one shoe on. My dad said that’s what happens when you don’t go to school.
–42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Dr. Ballon
Eight-year-old girl to older brother: I don't like booooooys!
10-year-old brother: I don't like boys, either!
Kids' ghetto mom to son: Boy, you betta like boys or I'mma pull your dick off.
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: E.C.
Mom to young daughter jumping up and down: You need to stop doing that. Jillian*, stop that now. If you don’t stop you are going to fall, if you fall you are going to cry, and if you cry I’m going to yell at you and make fun of you.
–Restroom, JFK
Overheard by: tessa
Little girl: Why are there coins in the fountain?
Jaded mom: People throw them in there because they think it will bring them good luck. But really, they're just making a mess. So, no, you may not throw any in the fountain.
–The Met
Girl to mother: I always get freaked out when I see trucks carrying poles, I think they're going to impale me.
Mother: Well, it's good to be aware of that, it does happen. You never know when you're going to have to save your own life!
–Delancey St
Overheard by: Janelle
