Wednesday One-Liners for Kendra

Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!

–Chrystie & Housten

Overheard by: Probably True…

Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Would the street be safer?

Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.

–Duane Reade

Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.

–Inwood

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Katface

Posted on July 8, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Customers, Duane Reade, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, One-liners, Parents, Smokers & Smoking, Street, Stupidity, Times Square, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

From the Reality Competition So You Think You Want Children

Little boy on scooter #1, to parents: I want a dog. I want a dog. I want a dog. I want a dog!
Little boy on scooter #2, talking over boy #1: I think we get it. I think we get it. I think we get it. I think we get it!

–Church & Chambers

Overheard by: ithinkhe'sright

Posted on July 8, 2015
Kids, Man's Best Friend, Parents, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Will Swallow for Diamonds

Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.

–University Place &10th St

Overheard by: evanescent

Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.

–Statue of Liberty

Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?

–53rd & 1st

Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.

–Tribeca

Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.

–NYU Classroom

Posted on July 6, 2015
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Classroom, Families, Family Ties, Girls, Hobos, Kids, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Prostitution, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Harry Potter Books!

20-something girl to mom: If I had a million dollars, I would spend 90% of my time watching tv, or doing nothing, like playing on the computer.
Mom: See? That is the type of attitude we need to talk about, you should want something!
20-something girl: Okay, I will read books.
Mom: (sighs)

–Penn Station

Overheard by: amazed by ignorance

Posted on July 3, 2015
Books & Writing, Computer, Girls, Moms, Money & Class, Parents, Penn Station, Time, TV, Wishes & desires

A Rhesus Monkey is Really Not a Good Pet

Mother: I don’t want you playing with that! It’s too big for you!
Son: I’m gonna spank it if I want to!

–Goodwill, 23rd St

Overheard by: Lady

Posted on July 2, 2015
Boys, Fighting and ass kicking, Kids, Moms, Parents, Store, Threats

We Are Talking About Yoga, Right?

Girl to guy friend: Ohmigod, I accidentally walked in on my mom while she was doing it last night!
Guy: Super nasty. I'd hate to see that.
Girl: Actually, mom was holding it down. I think I could learn some moves from her.
Guy: What? How long did you watch?
Girl: It was nothing, like ten minutes.

–33rd St & Lexington

Overheard by: tinydancer

Posted on July 1, 2015
Family Ties, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Parents, Private Parts, Should've Used a Condom, Teens

What Do You Know About Superstring Theory?

Woman #1: You know, when I remember my childhood, I realize that my family was really complicated; my father and uncle were always fighting… Actually, my uncle tried to shoot my father once –
Woman #2: Wait, what?
Woman #1: Listen, that’s not the complicated part.

–Westside Brewery, Upper West Side

Overheard by: vitupera

Posted on June 27, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Default, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Ladies Who Lunch, Murder, Parents, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

Maybe Somebody Nice Will Kidnap You

Three-year-old girl, singing loudly: It's hot and it's cold, it's yes and it's no, we fight we break up, and kiss and make up.
Mom, sounding desperate: Please…please just go stand over there.

–Bathroom, Intrepid Museum

Posted on June 27, 2015
Kids, Moms, More museums, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Singing

…But You Know She Bugged Me, Right?

Dad: I won't tell mommy about the donut you're eating if you don't tell mommy about the cigarette I'm about to smoke.
Daughter: Okay.

–Coffee Shop, Park Slope

Posted on June 26, 2015
Dads, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Parents, Park Slope, Restaurants & Cafes, Smoking

My Partially Retarded Father

Boy: Hey Dad, you wanna hear what I learned today? “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas”, and every word tells you the name of a planet! Wanna try it? OK, I’ll say the word, and you tell me which planet it means. Ready? My…
Father: Mars.
Boy: Right. Very…
Father: Venus.
Boy: Uh huh. Educated…
Father: Uh…Earth?
Boy: Yep. Mother…
Father: The Moon.
Boy: Yep.

–7 train

Overheard by: Mikey

Boy on cell: We took the bus to 9th Avenue and I saw a guy lying there with only one shoe on. My dad said that’s what happens when you don’t go to school.

–42nd & 9th

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon

Posted on June 24, 2015
Dads, Education, Hobos, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Parents, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Parents