Suit #1: Hey, did you hear about what happened yesterday?
Suit #2: Yeah, I did, and the amazing part is that female sex offenders exist–that's crazy!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Amused Onlooker
Suit #1: Hey, did you hear about what happened yesterday?
Suit #2: Yeah, I did, and the amazing part is that female sex offenders exist–that's crazy!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Amused Onlooker
Man to little boy: I can't believe you've never played tic-tac-toe with a chicken in Chinatown.
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Ed
Hipster guy: I don't know though, I can't Indian give those chickens, can I?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: BKLover
Older black man to himself, entering train with moving box: I got a live chicken in this box! I don't know why god gave me a chicken. He knows I don't know what to do with one. (a few minutes later) I'm gonna sell her to the butcher shop and they're going to cut that motherfucker up!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Mawy
Serious man, seeing dog carrying shopping bad in teeth: I am going to train a dog like that. I will train it to bring me chicken.
–73rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Large black dude to large black friend: Yo, man, I am so tired of chicken! I mean, yeah, I know, I'm black…but man, I ain't eating no chicken at that party man. Don't even bring no chicken by me, cause I ain't eating none. Matter of fact, I ain't eating no chicken for Black History Month. I'ma start the movement! No chicken for Black History Month!
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Woman at street vendor: I'll have a small coffee.
Vendor: We only have one size.
Woman: Well, I'll take the smallest size you have.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Siobhan
Young girl: See, I was right! And you said I was stupid.
Young boy: No, I didn't. I said you had a problem, and that ain't changed.
–Central Park West
Headline by: Lusus Naturae
Runners-Up:
· “Fortunately, Most Young Girls Are Stupid, Otherwise Young Boys Wouldn’t Ever Get Laid” – Young, Dumb, & Full Of …
· “Testfiy, Brother, Testify!” – Jakal
· “The Education System Is the Problem, Stupidity Is the Outcome” – Teacher’s Spouse
· “Yep, It’s Infected” – benji
Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.
Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…
–Prospect Park
Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: funny
Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!
–5 Train
Overheard by: E.J.
20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.
–1 Train
Old white guy #1, examining model building with acorn-topped pillars: They look like penises.
Old white guy #2: Yep.
–New York Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: that's what she said?
Older woman #1: How much do you sweat?
Older woman #2: I can smell myself!
–Great Lawn
Overheard by: Riding a Bike on this Path
Girl: I feel like she's really good at illegal stuff.
–34th & 9th
Overheard by: hellothere
Haggard-looking woman, screaming into cell: What? Now you're gettin' locked up and I am going to fucking prison now! Perfect! (sprints out of store)
–King Kullen, Staten Island
Preteen to another: So when you get arrested and your mom asks you where you were, you weren't with me.
–1st Ave & 16th
Overheard by: Wes Mantooth
Female teen to another: Yeah, that's what my dad got arrested for, too.
–Central Park
Teen boy on cell: I get a lot of shit from authority figures. Especially when I'm getting arrested.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: The Man(dy)
Fat guy in telephone booth: Yeah, well, Hitler invented the Volkswagen bus.
–7th Ave & Waverly
Overheard by: Mark Martin
Woman in alpine hat to another: I was not about to drag your half-conscious ass around a concentration camp!
–Zum Schneider German Restaurant/Bar
Overheard by: Nella
Guy: Jury duty is like the Holocaust. They put you in line and march you into a strange room.
–Off The Wagon Restaurant
Overheard by: thankfully not jewish
Teen boy: Yeah, after I watched that movie I couldn't talk to German people at all. For like a month afterwards, every time I saw a person who looked German I was like, "you evil, evil Nazi!"
–Bull Statue, Bowling Green
Little boy to friends: And next year, we're going to assassinate Hitler!
–66th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Liz
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I was watching some porn the other day and saw the creepiest thing! (pause) No, it's not a penis. I've seen penises before. (pause) No, it wasn't an ugly penis. That would be like…what, a herpes penis? (pause) So anyway, I was watching this porno, right? This guy lubed up his head and stuck it into a vagina. Like, up to his friggin'…past his nose! (pause, then laughing) I get off on lubed-up heads? (pause) Yeah, he was bald.
–11th St & 5th Ave
Preppy guy: If it's made out of brass, it's not pornographic.
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Guy on cell: Yeah, so I got this one called Stick it in Deep.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: j
Indignant law student: Look, the fact is, the videos of animal torture were not being used for sexual gratification!
–Fordham Law School
Beatnik professor: The internet is only good for two things. Online banking is not one of them. If you online bank, then you're fucked for life. They'll steal your identity. The internet is good for porn, and for getting underwear on sale. Now, I know many people may find buying a brassiere online to be strange, but women do it anyway. Now, the internet is great for porn, but you can't do kiddie porn. If you do kiddie porn then they'll get you. We all know who they are.
–Queens College
