Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman.
–Penn Station
Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman.
–Penn Station
Crazy hobo: What do you get when you take the lemons out of the lemonade?
Unsuspecting tourist: Um… ‘Ade’?
Crazy hobo: No! Sugar water! What do you get when you have an old cowboy?
Friendly hobo: Man, get the fuck outta here, ya fucking weirdo! Leave her the fuck alone!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Katie
Exasperated mother to child in toilet stall: Hurry up and poop!
–Ladies’ Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Betsy
[Girl is taking a piss in bathroom, friend shuts off lights.]Girl: Biiitch! You know my pussy don’t glow in the dark!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Lady in bathroom stall: [Grunts, groans grunts again.] [Pause.] Oh my god, I peed on the floor!
–Sheraton Hotel
Overheard by: Morgan
Hungover senior, chanting loudly over sound of own urination in bathroom: Allllllllll riiighty thennnnnnn! Ahhhhhhhh!
–SVA Animation Department
Overheard by: Laughing
Man farting at urinal, to friend at urinal next to him: Hey, man, what do you think about piss farts?
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: JO in Bobst
Girl: I’m not looking. I don’t want to see your vagina. Even if we are family.
–AMC Theater Restroom, Times Square
Overheard by: wondering what’s going on in the next stall
[Horrific sounds heard in adjacent stall for 3 minutes.]Co-worker, yelling: "I’m sorry, I had milk!"
–Office bathroom, 31st Street
[Twenty something chick stops in the middle of the store and looks around.]Twenty something dude, who is obviously brother of twenty something chick: What? What are you looking for?
Twenty something chick: The condoms.
–Duane Reade, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Indian girl, speaking on her cell-phone: Jewish people don’t speak English, and they’re great businessmen. Chinese people don’t speak English, and they’re great businessmen. So you don’t have to speak English either to be a great businessman!
— Penn Station
20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day.
–Smith & Bergan
Overheard by: Mako Shark
30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet!
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carol
Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife!
–Morgan’s Market
Overheard by: Akiko
Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: blue
Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal.
–N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Non Hipster
Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.
–Penn Station
Drunk girl: Excuse me… Excuse me, sir. A lady pirate in the next car just violated me. She slid her sword down my skirt, man! For real — she was a fuckin’ pirate! There’s a whole bunch of pirates in the next car!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Jesse
Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along!
–Canal Street
JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out.
–Broadway & Washington Place
Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women!
–Times Square
Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!
–Elizabeth & Prince
Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman: Oh, this is great. We got on a nonstop train to Trenton. Just what I fuckin’ need in my life right now. It’s OK, we’ll just go see our nation’s capital.
Random man: Our nation’s capital?
Woman: You know I meant state. I don’t need comments from the fuckin’ peanut gallery. I went to high school. I graduated with fuckin’ honors.
–NJ Transit train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Another fuckin’ honor student
Seven-year-old white boy in huge afro wig, screaming: Peace out, smokers! Peace out, jazz singers! Now, who wants my autograph?
–Playground, Houston St, Soho
Little boy with broken arm: I just won eight gold medals!
–Pier 46, Hudson River Park
Overheard by: skeptical james
Three-year-old boy: The night… why does it hurt?
–Flushing Playground
Six-year-old girl waiting for parents to pay the check, chanting: Hun-ger! Hun-ger! Hun-ger!
–Chinese Restaurant, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kendra
Little boy walking towards LIRR at rush-hour: How are we going to get through all of this?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: i feel the same way
Four-year-old boy: I gotta feelin… that tonight's gonna be a good night… that tonight's gonna be a good night… that tonight's gonna be a good good night!
–Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square
Overheard by: wooohoooo
Little girl, in Cro-Magnon section of museum: Mommy, you must have known these people. They look like you!
–American Museum of Natural History
