Black boy: This hobo offered me some weed today on the train.
Mother: Did you take it?
Black boy: Yeah. She kinda looked like grandma.
–Jamaica Center, Parsons Blvd & Archer Ave
Black boy: This hobo offered me some weed today on the train.
Mother: Did you take it?
Black boy: Yeah. She kinda looked like grandma.
–Jamaica Center, Parsons Blvd & Archer Ave
Little boy, in silent temple: Hey, Jews! [Five minutes later] Oh, man, I just farted!
–Queens
Overheard by: Mo and Mell
Headline by: haz
Runners-Up:
· “And Moses Said to the Israelities: Pull My Finger” – Luddite
· “Little Hitler’s First Attempt at Gassing Jews….” – Allison Brown-Hancock
· “The Day the Jews Told Jesus to Make His Own Religion” – Alice
· “Would a Gas Chamber Joke Be Over the Line?” – wilkeson
Little girl: Mommy, how old will I be when I have sex?
–18th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mayde and Daniel
Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.
–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Maryrose
Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!
–Queens
Overheard by: alex
Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Caroline
Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!
–Starbucks
Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.
–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!
Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?
–West End & West 100th St
Asian schoolgirl to friend: So he says "you're a racist," and I'm like, "I can't be a racist, I'm a race!"
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Squidocto
Fair-skinned Italian Long Island woman: So they both took a paper bag test, and passed.
–Barnes & Noble Cafe
Overheard by: a.j.w.
Yuppie Indian woman: In *my* culture, I'm not black.
–Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: mojbe
Ridiculously loud girl employee: Bobby! What's your ethnicity?
–NYU
Overheard by: …not the only shocked observer
Eight-year old black kid to 20-something babysitter, about younger brother: He likes black girls, but I like white girls!
–Outside Delancey Station
Cashier #1: So then where did you go?
Cashier #2: He took me up to the roof.
Cashier #1: Girl, you are so lucky! He sounds so romantical.
Cashier #2: Yeah, that’s how I like it.
–C Town Supermarket, Queens
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Girl #1: Wait, Tara Reid is from New Jersey?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Oh my *god*, that explains so much!
–Backyard BBQ, Howard Beach
Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian?
–N train
Really white guy (loudly): Who is that fucking nigger you're working for now?
Another white guy: Pleasant….so do you live around here now?
Really white guy: Yeah, this is my hood.
–Deli, Greenpoint Ave / Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Jesse
NYU nerdy chick on cell: The oral is going to be super hard. …But I think I’ll be good at it.
–NYU
Overheard by: kat
Clerk, to female co-worker: I keep my meat to the side.
–Walgreens, Atlantic Ave
Girl: Bite and suck, bite and suck, bite and suck!
–Szechuan Restaurant
Overheard by: tallierand
Female customer to employee: …the gum that has the things in it. She likes to chew on the ones with the blue balls.
–Duane Reade, Fresh Meadows
Overheard by: evan FM
College sophomore: … So yeah, I said "Mom, stop rotating my pickle!"
–USA #1 Deli, La Salle & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Father to younger son: So you like second base right?
–Douglaston Market, Queens
Overheard by: Noelle
