Latino: I took my kids to that gay pride parade they have down here. Rainbow flags everywhere. Man, you guys stole our flag!
Queer: Whose flag? Puerto Rico’s?
Latino: What?
Queer: What was the rainbow flag before it was gay?
Latino: I don’t know.
–BarMinnow, 9th & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Guess I stole his flag too
20-something gal: I didn’t really like him, I just wanted a boyfriend.
–Fulton & Gold
Overheard by: Craig, Marykate and Maryanne
20-something girl on cell: What, my boyfriend? Oh, he’s with his wife tonight.
–Remsen & Clinton, Brooklyn
Flamboyantly gay man (to himself): He’s just jealous because I have a new boyfriend!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Liz
French woman, earnestly: I’m okay with him sleeping with my boyfriend as long as he starts paying for his own drinks.
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster bike punk: I call her my special lady friend and she calls me her gentlemen caller… because boyfriend and girlfriend are too possessive.
–Mud Bar, East Village
Overheard by: raf
Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.
–Washington Square East
20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!
–N Train
Overheard by: TR
Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.
–39th & 9th
Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ems
Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!
–Bedford & Grove
Overheard by: How many is too many?
Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Jingles
Queer #1: Everyone’s tasted their own cum once.
Queer #2: That sounds like a line from a play.
Straight guy: Sounds like a shitty play.
–Osso Bucco, University Ave
Gay guy: Where are we going?
Straight girl: Nowhere Bar. Have you been there before?
Gay guy: I don't think so. Oh no! Wait! Someone blew me there in college!
Straight girl: For the last effing time, I do not need to hear these things about my big brother!
–F Train
Fag hag scanning seats during intermission: Oooh, look at that queen up there!
Queer: Girl, that’s no queen! He’s from Long Island.
—High Fidelity show
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Queer: I do Pilates now!
Girl: Jesus Christ, you are such a homo.
–Bryant Park
Hipster guy, finishing a story: And so I said “suck on that, commie!”
Hipster girl: Wait, what?
Hipster guy: By “commie”, I mean “communist.” And by “suck on that,” I mean my cock.
Hipster girl, disappointed: Oh.
Gay hipster guy: I get it! But, I mean, what about the chafing?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Alexx
Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man?
–Union Square
Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you.
–Bar, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Eric
Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: letthemusicplayy
Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole!
–Rite Aid, Grand Central
