Corporate-dressed ghetto girl #1: So I'm like she doesn't even know me! So I go to her, “Do you even know me?” cause she don't even know me!
Corporate-dressed ghetto girl #2: She doesn't even know you.
–Pax, E 52nd St
Corporate-dressed ghetto girl #1: So I'm like she doesn't even know me! So I go to her, “Do you even know me?” cause she don't even know me!
Corporate-dressed ghetto girl #2: She doesn't even know you.
–Pax, E 52nd St
Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tranny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re looking for a bassist, we have a show on Saturday, my apartment sucks, Joe quit, been trying to lose weight, I need a haircut, it’s my birthday next week, and I’ve been playing World of Warcraft. What about you?
–Halloween Adventure, 11th & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Chick: Do you know how I finally realized I was over him?
Friend: How?
Chick: In the past five years this was the first time I didn’t print out our AIM conversation.
Friend: Wow, that’s great.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Trace
Bleach-blonde: I would totally vote for McCain if Miley Cyrus were his running mate.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Democrat
Woman: Oh, I am definitely a single-issue voter. And right now, that issue is: Which one of the candidates can get me to a bathroom soonest?
–7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: Chuckell
Drunk hobo to a group of pigeons: And they’re all Democrats. Can’t trust them Democrats.
–Washington Square Park
Young African American woman speaking animatedly on cell: … Vice president? Why should I run for Vice President, I’m doing better than you, bitch! "Dream ticket!" That’s why I hate white liberals. They don’t know when they’re fucked up. Republicans don’t give a shit about you, but they know it.
–124th St, Harlem
Drunk wheelbo, shouting across the entire ferry terminal: Hillary, Hillary, she’s our man! If she can’t do it, no one can!
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Lady on cell: When you done turn Governor, you can’t play dat shit…
–Associated Supermarket, Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PdQ
Gap employee #1: What's your major again?
Gap employee #2: French studies.
Gap employee #1: Oh yeah, you're all into London and shit, right?
–The Gap
Voice over employee's walkie-talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Obnoxious woman: So I said, "motherfucker, I'm not your sister–I'm your cousin. So I will shoot you."
–Uptown 2 Train
Large black man: If you ain't got no bullets, you gotsta melee!
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Zach
Wannabe hip-hopper, trying to sell CD: It's clean music, and I ain't never shot no one!
–Union Square
20-something guy on cell: They got no right to bring up that gun charge, it's over ten years old!
–19th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emily Davidson
Dude, after chatting to policewoman: I just have a thing for women in uniform! My mind says, "no, no, settle down," and my penis says, "but she's got a gun!"
–Hudson & Laight
Screaming, sobbing middle-aged woman to man: Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me? We made beautiful love last night! Why are you doing this to me?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Laura
Angry woman on cell: You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me! We are done!
–147th & St Nicholas
Man on cell: I'm going to fucking dump that job, like girls dump me.
–45th & 8th
Girl on phone: No wonder he broke up with you, you are a pain in the ass!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Laura
Teen girl on cell: Are you fucking kidding me? You're breaking up with me because I didn't let you lick chocolate off my coochie? That shit's fucked up!
–Bloomingdale's
Frat boys shouting: Voldemort! Voldemort!
Gryffindor girl to friend: If that fucking Slytherin reads the last page aloud to me, I swear I’m going to shove this fucking wand up his nose!
–Harry Potter Midnight Madness Party, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Pat Miller
Woman: I'll tell you why.
Man: Okay.
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No.
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No. Woman, do you know why?
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No, but I would like to know.
Woman: I don't know either.
–U-Haul Store, The Bronx
Overheard by: Mike
Guy #1: No, man, she’s been lying for a while now.
Guy #2: I dunno, man…
Guy #1: It’s true. Remember that time I was like, “Hey, where’s your baby?” And she was like, “Oh yeah…I had a miscarriage.”
Guy #2: True. True.
–Pick a Bagel, 3rd Ave between 22nd & 23rd
Overheard by: Shannon
