Well, Lesbian Pretty, Anyway.

Stuy guy: So the other day, one of my girlfriends saw me walking on the street with you, and that night she IMed me on AIM and—I think she's a lesbian but I'm not sure–she said “so I saw you walking with some pretty Asian girl today…” and…
Stuy girl: Wait what's her name?
Stuy guy: Antoinette.
Stuy girl: Oh. Did you give her my number?
Stuy guy: (inaudible)
Stuy girl: That's gonna be awkward because I'm already juggling like three other lesbians right now.
(a minute later)
Stuy girl: Awww! I'm pretty!

–Downtown 2 Train

Posted on July 13, 2009
Beauty, Gays and Lesbians, Names, On the Subway, Students

“Luke, I Am Your Wednesday One-Liner”

Student to professor: Yeah, man, you know, because every time I slap you five, now I feel like I'm slapping your father's ass.

–Suffolk County Community College

Overheard by: Wish I was paying attention

Trashy sista' on cell: Did you know you've been nominated for an award? (pause) Yeah, I know! I mean, it's just nice to even be nominated, issa' honor. Yeah, you wanna know whacha been nominated for? You been nominated for the world's biggest deadbeat daddy!

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: I don't work here

Demi-bum to another, looking at postcards at a convenience store: Oh, I want to send a postcard to my father: Doing shitty, wish you cared!

–Fulton & Water

Teen girl to friend: Of course I got him tested!…but he wasn't the father either.

–145th & Broadway

Guard: Did you hear about that 9-year-old girl who gave birth to her own twin? I'm serious! It was inside her stomach and then she gave birth to it. And the craziest part is that the twin was from another father!

–74th & Madison

Latina girl to friend: You know, I don't even know what I saw in that loser. I should've dumped his ass the first time he tried hitting on my dad!

–58th & 6th

Overheard by: Tim J.

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, College, Compare/Contrast, Crazy, Duane Reade, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Kids, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Promiscuity, Questions, Security Guards, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

F4F Wednesday One-Liners

Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.

Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…

–Prospect Park

Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.

–Barnard College

Overheard by: funny

Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!

–5 Train

Overheard by: E.J.

20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.

–1 Train

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Dads, Fat People, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, Kids, Latinos, Love, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Students, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

It's Not Delivery– It's Wednesday One-Liner!

Student: A lot more people would definitely vote if there was free pizza at polling places.

–Queens College

Overheard by: Suze

Hipster: Papa John's makes me want to have Aids.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Drunk person: Hey! This isn't the original Ray's!

–Ray's Pizza

Overheard by: Darwin

Girl to friend: So you only need a slice of pizza to get you wet?

–Slaughtered Lamb Pub

Overheard by: sinko

Old dude carrying blue plastic bag to pigeon: Pizza! My darling! Pizza! My pizza!

–9th St & 1st Ave

Hobo to passers-by: You need a dog! Don't eat the pizza, you will get fat!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lily

Posted on July 1, 2009
Advice, AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Birds, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Fakes, Free stuff!, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Hobos, Man's Best Friend, Old People, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pizza, Politics, Queens, Queens College, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Street, Students, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

The Babushkas Are Just for Style

Teacher, looking at photo: Ahhh, was this taken in Russia?
Student: No, that's Coney Island.

–Stuyvesant High School

Posted on June 30, 2009
Global Geography, Pictures, Questions, Students, Stuyvesant, Teachers/Professors

And I Remembered That Story About the Milk and the Cow

Female undergrad #1: How was your first date with that new guy?
Female undergrad #2: Really great! I must really like him, because I didn't sleep with him.

–NYU

Posted on June 29, 2009
Dating, NYU, Questions, Sex, Students, Weirdness

And the Vicious Anti-Nineties Backlash

Female grad student: We can't go that way. People were stabbed over there.
Male grad student: Oh, that's only because of the Seinfeld diner.

–116th St & Broadway

Posted on June 27, 2009
Directions, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Stab, Students, TV

Like When My Girlfriend Said She's Slept with 3 Dozen People

Professor, holding up student's essay: This person made over three dozen grammatical errors on their essay.
Student, to another next to him: Oh my god…that means twelve!

–John Jay College

Overheard by: Erica

Posted on June 25, 2009
College, Education, School and studying, Science, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors

Weirdest. Bris. Ever.

Dark-haired coed: So, oh my gosh! Wait! How big was it?
Blonde coed: Uhhh, yeah, oh…he was actually pretty small. Like, I only felt it, but…
Dark-haired coed: Oh my gosh! So, like, how small was it? Like a tootsie roll, or a cat's tail, or…
Blonde coed: Umm…I guess it could've been…maybe a tiny bit thicker than a cat tail. But, really, it was so so small and thin.

–FIT