America Runs on Wednesday One-Liners

Thug: I love you because when I'm with you I feel like I'm Barack Obama and you're Hillary Clinton.

–N Train

All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?

–Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!

–Uptown 6 Train

Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, "Oh no, you didn't put that up." 'cause he don't know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon…he can't even vote.

–East Village Urban Outfitters

Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.

–106th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kip

Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.

–70th & Columbus

Overheard by: Devoted Puppy

Posted on December 7, 2019
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Columbia University, Crazies, Girls, Kids, Love, Old People, On the Subway, Politics, President, Questions, Race, Smokers & Smoking, Store, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Full Frontal Wednesday One-Liners

Dude to another: Yeah, but she got a yeast infection from sitting around naked on muffins all day.

–Union Square

Overheard by: chris

Artsy guy on cell: No, no, she’s not naked… But you want to see her naked!

–12th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Flight attendant: Your pilot for the flight today is Buck Naked. Your first officer is Justin Case. That’s just in case Buck Naked decides to get buck wild.

–LaGuardia

Dude: I heard that all they do there is have sex and drink beer… And have naked snowball fights.

–41st & 7th

Posted on November 27, 2019
Artists, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Flight Attendants, Guys, Happiness, LaGuardia Airport, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Nudity, On Cell, Sex, STDs, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

On the Internet I Do

Girlfriend: My shoes are killing me.
Boyfriend: If you don't stop I'll have to punch you in the cunt.
Girlfriend: Would you even know where to find it?

–East Village

Overheard by: C

Posted on November 7, 2019
Body Parts, Boyfriends, Couples, Default, Girlfriends, Gripes, Punch, Sensory Experiences, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Vagina

Looks Like “Like White on Rice” is Over

Black guy #1: Ooh, ladies? Konichiwa!
Black guy #2: Arigato!
Asian girl: We’re Korean, motherfuckers!
Black guy #1: Sayonara!

–7th & A

Overheard by: M!J

Black guy: Yo, I’d fuck the Chinese out of those bitches.

–23rd & 6th

Overheard by: JD

Posted on November 6, 2019
Black People, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Pick-up Lines, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners Are Just Semantics

Shopping girl: Look, those are pre-viewed! Wait, what does that mean?

–Tower Records, Union Square South

Woman on cell: I’m not a HOOKER! I’m a PROSTITUTE you piece of shit fuck!

–In front of Barnes & Noble, Union Square North

Overheard by: Jenna Carlson

Posted on October 31, 2019
Manhattan, One-liners, Union Square and East Village

Overheard in the Headlines

Man: My friend asked me if they were shooting a movie, and I said,
“Yeah, it’s called Bombscare.”

–Astor Place

Posted on October 30, 2019
Manhattan, Men, Movies, People, Places, Pop Culture, Terrorism, Topics, Union Square and East Village

Here’s Hoping They Make It to Saturn

Jazz dude #1: Where is Sun Ra buried?
Jazz dude #2: Dude… Road trip!

–Virgin Megastore, Union Square

Overheard by: Abram

Posted on October 22, 2019
Musicians, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village

“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”

Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…

–Wendy's, Union Square

Overheard by: Hungry Bystander

Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.

–American Eagle, SoHo

Overheard by: Holly

Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.

–Downtown 4 Train

50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.

–Boat Basin Cafe

Overheard by: Megan W.

Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!

–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Posted on October 22, 2019
9 to 5-ers, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Coworkers, Duane Reade, Gender issues, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Makeup, Marriage, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, Orgasm, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Singing, Soho, Store, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies

Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.

–E Houston & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: BenRC

Posted on October 4, 2019
Accidents, Friends, Guys, Music, Union Square and East Village, Violence

She’s Used to All That Pseudo-Italian Crap

Woman #1, pointing to smallest cup: So, what size is this?
Barista: That’s a small.
Woman #1: And what size is this?
Barista: That’s a medium.
Woman #1: And so what size is this?
Barista: That’s a large.
Woman #2: Wow, this has been the most fascinating exchange I’ve heard in quite some time.

–9th St Espresso, East Village

Overheard by: Shankalicious

Posted on September 27, 2019
Baristas, Bimbettes, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Union Square and East Village

Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies