Guy #1: Oh my god man! I just saw my ex!
Guy #2: So…fuck her!
Guy #1: Yeah,… fuck that fucking cunt…fucking cunt!
Guy #2: Did she look hot…?
Guy #1: Cunt.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Al Wilner
Guy #1: Oh my god man! I just saw my ex!
Guy #2: So…fuck her!
Guy #1: Yeah,… fuck that fucking cunt…fucking cunt!
Guy #2: Did she look hot…?
Guy #1: Cunt.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Al Wilner
Conductor: Last stop, Grand Central Terminal. Remember, don’t drink and drive, but if you are going to take the train, drink ’til you go blind. Have a nice evening.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. Next stop, uh… Franklin… naw, that’s not it. Well, let’s go.
–Brooklyn bound R train
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Conductor, to woman standing halfway in the motorman’s booth flirting with him: Wanna drive?
–7 train
Overheard by: Margarita
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is not roll call. This is not Mickey Mouse roll call. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–4 train, Wall St
Overheard by: Pandora
Conductor: Please step in and watch the closing doors… Sir. Move your stuff out of the doors so I can close them! Motherfucker gonna make me late… gonna make us all late!
–Queens bound R train
Overheard by: Jay Kay
Conductor: We are now approaching 161st Street, Yankee Stadium. If you’re not getting off here, you should. Go see the second half of the Boston Massacre. Have a good day.
–Uptown 4 train
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Conductor: There is no V train service on the weekends. Get on this train. I repeat, there is no V train service on the weekends. What are you waiting for? Just get on my train!
–Downtown E train
Overheard by: tyler ann
Yuppie woman #1: I just couldn’t believe it. Just because I give my child everything he wants and asks for, she has the nerve to tell me that I’m giving my son a sense of entitlement.
Yuppie woman #2: I can’t believe she said that.
Yuppie woman #1: Yeah. The nerve!
–Downtown 2 train, Fulton St
Girl: I think that guy is waving to me.
Guy: That’s a streetlight. Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten that third piece of paper.
Girl: I can’t wait ’til vegoose.
–South Street Seaport
Boyfriend: Y’know, you can tell she was really pretty… What?
–Bodies exhibit, Fulton St
Overheard by: also stared
Suit on cell: No, she’s not ugly. She’s just a Jew.
–Water St
Kid: What’s that?
Grandma: That’s the belly button. It helps you breathe.
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
Guy: Damnit, no girl ever wants to go out with me.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: I don’t think girls like me; they say I’m an ass.
Girl: I like you!
Guy: I don’t date dudes.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Transparent guy: That’s why gay guys are the best.
The straight man: How so?
Transparent guy: Gay guys are just bags of hormones. If they want sex, they just ask for it. Girls are like, “Let’s all play coy and innocent!”
The straight man: I never thought of it like that.
Transparent guy: Gay guys are like, “Put your balls into my butt” kinda thing.
The straight man, laughing: Yeah, if I was gay I’d probably have sex all the time.
Transparent guy: Me too…Like just go out…find some gay dude… and touch his balls.
The straight man: Dude, what are you on?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
