Now Playing: Wednesday One-Liners

Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie!

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ross

Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet.

–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square

Overheard by: Holly

Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie.

–62nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Richard

Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!"

–NYU Dining Hall

Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded.

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mark Nilges

Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long.

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Posted on April 8, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, God, Guys, Insults, Internet, Movie Theaters, Movies, Nerds, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Religion, Retardation, Sex, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Just Go to Their Happy Place

Conductor yelling in Indian accent: Please get in the train, it's not that crowded. (door closes and opens again) Get in the freaking train, it's not Mumbai, there is space, and keep you limbs inside the train, please!

–E Train

Overheard by: Ting

Loud man as doors open on a packed rush-hour train: What you need to do is…put out your hand and say, "no, you will not fit." And then, if that don't work, take your umbrella, and open it up.

–4 Train

Seated woman to older lady leaning over her: Lady, back your fupa up!

–F Train

Overheard by: pwolf

Conductor: This train is tooo crowded, folks. There is another train behind us that looks just like this one. Take a look at this train, then wait for something that looks just like it.

–6 Train

Little tourist boy: There are more people in here than in all of New York!

–Dillan's Candy Store

Posted on April 8, 2009
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Conductors, Kids, Men, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Store, Tourism, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Unfortunately, It's Usually a Hobo on the Subway.

Woman at checkout to teenage son: I don't know…this shampoo smells a little too edible.
Middle aged Latina cashier, fingering her hair: That's why I wash my hair! So somebody will take a bite! Yum, yum, nibble, nibble!

–Ave A Grocery Store

Posted on April 7, 2009
Alphabet City, Cashiers, Families, Grocery Stores, Hair, Latinos, Moms, Sensory Experiences, Teens, Weirdness

I'd Still Prefer a Polar Bear, Though.

Button-down and khakis guy #1: I wish I had a bi-polar friend…it'd be like having two friends in one!
Button-down guy #2, completely serious: Yeah, that'd be awesome.

–Crocodile Lounge, 14th St

Posted on April 7, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Friendship, Guys, Psychology, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Unless Ben and Jerry Count

Extremely drunk guy: Hey, how ya doin'?
Sober woman: Fine, thanks. (pause) Hey, this is my stop…gotta go! (dashes off train)
Extremely drunk guy to extremely drunk friend, after a long pause: Hey, I coulda had her if I wanted. I coulda been like, “if this is your stop, then it's my stop too, baby, why dontcha come home with me?” But I don' want any company tonight. I wanna be all by myself…in my own place…in my own bed…all alone.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on April 6, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Guys, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Public Transportation, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Just Like I Did.

Japanese toddler: Do they have jail in Japan?
Japanese dad: Yes, they have jail everywhere.
Japanese toddler: I want to go to jail!
Japanese dad: No, you don't. You get killed in jail.

–Grand Central Terminal

Posted on April 6, 2009
Dads, Grand Central, Japanese, Kids, Murder, Prison, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

And You're a Tad Horny

Girl: Am I turning into a unicorn?
Guy: No, you just have cancer.

–Boss Tweed's bar

Overheard by: Unicorns

Posted on April 5, 2009
Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Cancer, Girls, Guys, Questions, Weirdness

No Matter What My Gymnastics Coach Says

Conductor: If you see something, say something.
Crazy fat lady reading book: Mind your own business, don't say anything. (a few minutes later) I don't wanna be no Asian, I don't wanna be the size of no Asian.

–Downtown A train