Wednesday One-Liners Put Them on One Leg at a Time

Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants?

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants!

–81st & Roosevelt Ave

Overheard by: Jobee

Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on?

–8th & Broadway

Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform.

–Times Square Shuttle Station

Overheard by: Heather

Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Shira

Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train?

–W. Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jon A.

Posted on November 27, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Boys, Brooklyn, Clothing, Cops, Coworkers, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Girls, Kids, Nudity, Offers and requests, On Cell, Physical appearance, Poop, Public Transportation, Queens, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Take Up Hobbies

Middle-aged woman: I really never cared for skiing, but I was so alone in my marriage, I found it was a great way to meet men.

–Burritoville, 77th & 2nd

Meathead #1, to meathead #2: Hey! Want to go to a ballroom club?

–47th & Madison

Guy, to passersby: Game of chess? Play chess? Chess?…Also got chronic.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Phil

Posted on November 22, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clubs, Guys, Idiots, Infidelity, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sports, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Women

After She Retired from Cosby, Stills, and Nash

Middle aged woman #1: I saw that woman of The Cosby Show near Wall Street yesterday.
Middle aged woman #2: Wow, you did not! Which one?
Middle aged woman #1: Whoopi Goldberg–the one that was married to Bill Cosby in the show!
Middle aged woman #2: Oh yeah, I remember her. I think she changed her name to Whoopi Cosby now.

–A Train

Overheard by: Dora Olafsson

Posted on November 22, 2015
About Celebrities, Default, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, TV, Women

Assholes Kind of Speak a Universal Language

Fat lady: Do you understand English?
Guy: I do and you sound like an asshole.

–7 train

Posted on November 14, 2015
Fat People, Guys, Language Barrier, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, People, Places, Stupidity, Women

Young Urban Professional Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!

–St. Mark's Place

Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…

–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill

Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!

–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

Posted on November 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, One-liners, Philosophy, Pictures, Psychology, Questions, Rack, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words, Yuppies

There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have

Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: chris

Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!

–1st Ave & St. Mark's

Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Lola Black

Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

–W 4th St

20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.

–Café

Posted on November 1, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Cancer, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Friendship, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Illness, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Parks, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Knit One, Pearly Gates Two

Woman #1: This sweater is 80 dollars?! My grandmother could knit this!
Woman #2: Wow, really?
Woman #1: Well, no, she’s dead… But you know what I mean.

–The Gap

Posted on October 31, 2015
Business and Commerce, Clothing, Customers, Death, Family Ties, Money & Class, Shopping, Store, Women

She Had to Have Been Around Three-Months-Old When I Stole Her from That Playground

Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.

–Rockefeller Plaza

Posted on October 26, 2015
Babies, Kids, Parents, Rockefeller Center, Women

Yeah, but They Don’t Eat Much

Woman #1: Why shouldn’t I trust him? Because he’s gay?
Woman #2: No. Because he might be Jeffrey Dahmer.
Woman #1: He might be Jeffrey Dahmer?
Woman #2: Yeah. I just don’t trust anyone.
Woman #1: You’re friends with crackheads!

–N Train

Posted on October 20, 2015
Advice, Crime and Punishment, Default, Drugs, Fears, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Questions, Threats, Women

This Goes on Until Moe Slaps Them

Woman #1: Oh my god, I can't believe you said that!
Woman #2: Shut up, I did not just say that!
Woman #1: You just said that.
Woman #2: When did I say that?
Woman #1: You like *just* said that!

–Starbucks, Battery Park Plaza

Posted on October 19, 2015
Battery Park, Compare/Contrast, Default, Lies, Starbucks, Women, Words

Women