Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish.
–Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St.
Overheard by: Ron Marler
Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish.
–Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St.
Overheard by: Ron Marler
Little boy to dad: Does the Statue of Liberty have a claw?
–Battery Park
Little boy to mother: Will you hurry up? You're slower than my aunt Jebediah in the bathtub!
–Clark St, Brooklyn
Four-year-old boy to mother: And then you fed me…from your belly button!
–Old Navy Store
Overheard by: Joyfully Yours
Little boy playing with friend: Buenos dias, reptile!
–Astoria Park
Overheard by: Julie & Zane
Blond six-year-old, looking at father's New Yorker magazine: What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
–Doma Cafe
Seven-year-old with Spiderman backpack: Dad, have I lost my youth?
–1 Train
Little girl with pigtails, running to sit with family: We're going to the dark side!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy to female friend: There's a guy in the Howard Street festival that ejaculates like 20 feet.
–E 3rd St & 1st Ave
Guy: The world is my cumrag!
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jordan Bruce
Woman on cell: Yeah, it was great. We managed to buy enough sperm for three kids.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Intoxicated college boy to friend: I don't want to jism on a girl's back…yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: watching her back
Suit getting off train, turning around and yelling: Was it semen? (waves goodbye)
–1 Train
Overheard by: hsw
Big muscular man on cell: It's so damn hot, I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup.
–Outside Tribeca Deli
Overheard by: Akiko
Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it's hot!
–Downtown 1 Train
Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It's so hot my pussy is melting!
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: lemchek
Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him!
–Thompson & W 3rd St
Guy: I'm telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something.
–Starbucks
Dude to friend: I wanna say she's hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover.
–The Village
Big guy to girlfriend after stepping on her feet in the crowd: I'm sorry. It's not my fault I have these huge boats for feet.
Random lady: They could be canoes…
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Man: I just don't know why it had to be so dramatic.
Woman: Joe, she kicked me in the face. Twice.
–R Train
Overheard by: LH
Frat boy: If you press your thumb hard in the middle of your forehead it stops your gag reflex for a minute.
Girl: Uhhh how do you know that?
Frat boy: I learned it at my frat, you can swallow a whole banana!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: JC
Little kid: Hey, mom! Check it out! (chokes himself with own hands)
Mom: Oh, don't do that, honey, you'll damage your brain!
–State St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ben
Jiu-Jitsu student #1: Have you seen my new gloves? Well, they are less of hit gloves and more being hit gloves.
Jiu-Jitsu student #2: You put them on your face?
–Jiu-Jitsu Dojo, Manhattan
Lazy guy on bike: My tailbone hurts.
Lazy girl on bike: My vagina bones hurt.
–East Village
