Teen girl #1: Do you ever talk to your eggs?
Teen girl #2: Like, fridge eggs or baby eggs?
Teen girl #1: Baby eggs.
Teen girl #2: No?
Teen girl #1: Well, I do. I mean, they might be a baby eventually!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Teen girl #1: Do you ever talk to your eggs?
Teen girl #2: Like, fridge eggs or baby eggs?
Teen girl #1: Baby eggs.
Teen girl #2: No?
Teen girl #1: Well, I do. I mean, they might be a baby eventually!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
(at the Ghostland Observatory show)
Hipster #1: Oh my god, I'm so sweating so much right now.
Hipster #2: I am too. But it might be because I'm wearing leggings on my arms.
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: mrsmith
Guy with lisp to friend: When I have outbreaks, they never have it, so I asked the guy at the gas station and he just bought a pack for me.
(friend mumbles something)
Guy with lisp: I have to walk miles to the gas station to get my herpes medication. My mom doesn't even know I have herpes, or that I used to have syphilis! Imagine having poison ivy on your knee, and it bursts, and there's pus. That's what it's like. Do you have herpes?
Friend, stupidly: Ha-huh. I don't know.
Guy with lisp: Did you fuck that chick Rachel?
Friend: Ha-huh. Yeah.
Guy with lisp: Did you ride her rough?
Friend: Ha-huh. Yeah.
Guy with lisp, shamelessly: You probably have herpes. I gave it to her about a month ago. We should talk more about who I've fucked and who I've given herpes to.
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Fresca P.
Sorority girl tourist #1, about photo of guy on camera phone: Look at this gluteus maximus.
Sorority girl tourist #2: Oooh, nice gluteus maximus. Hey, what’s with all the weird body part names, anyway? Gluteus maximus…
Sorority girl tourist #1: Vulva…
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Dolores!
Soccer fan #1, disturbed by screaming children while watching World Cup: Where the hell did all these kids come from?
Soccer fan #2, still watching screen: My guess is various wombs.
–Sports Bar, Red Hook
Overheard by: KP Whitey
Guy: Snowboarding is better than skiing.
Girl: Yeah, I don’t think I would like skiing. I’m just not good at the whole keeping-my-legs-together thing.
–42st Station
Overheard by: BJ
Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish.
–Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St.
Overheard by: Ron Marler
Little boy to dad: Does the Statue of Liberty have a claw?
–Battery Park
Little boy to mother: Will you hurry up? You're slower than my aunt Jebediah in the bathtub!
–Clark St, Brooklyn
Four-year-old boy to mother: And then you fed me…from your belly button!
–Old Navy Store
Overheard by: Joyfully Yours
Little boy playing with friend: Buenos dias, reptile!
–Astoria Park
Overheard by: Julie & Zane
Blond six-year-old, looking at father's New Yorker magazine: What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
–Doma Cafe
Seven-year-old with Spiderman backpack: Dad, have I lost my youth?
–1 Train
Little girl with pigtails, running to sit with family: We're going to the dark side!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy to female friend: There's a guy in the Howard Street festival that ejaculates like 20 feet.
–E 3rd St & 1st Ave
Guy: The world is my cumrag!
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jordan Bruce
Woman on cell: Yeah, it was great. We managed to buy enough sperm for three kids.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Intoxicated college boy to friend: I don't want to jism on a girl's back…yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: watching her back
Suit getting off train, turning around and yelling: Was it semen? (waves goodbye)
–1 Train
Overheard by: hsw
Big muscular man on cell: It's so damn hot, I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup.
–Outside Tribeca Deli
Overheard by: Akiko
Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it's hot!
–Downtown 1 Train
Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It's so hot my pussy is melting!
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: lemchek
Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him!
–Thompson & W 3rd St
Guy: I'm telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something.
–Starbucks
Dude to friend: I wanna say she's hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover.
–The Village
