Male third grader: It's illegal to marry your sibling.
Female third grader: Yeah, unless you're from Europe.
–Bus
Overheard by: wishing i was still 8
Male third grader: It's illegal to marry your sibling.
Female third grader: Yeah, unless you're from Europe.
–Bus
Overheard by: wishing i was still 8
Father: We might not make it home in time for church.
Little boy: Hallelujah! We're gonna miss church!
–Bus to Staten Island
Skater boy: I love Jennifer Aniston! I would fuck her and then leave her!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Laura
Grad student: I've been analyzing my love life from a symbolic interactionist perspective…
–Amsterdam Cafe
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy on cell: I love you…(defensively) Yes I do!
–Columbus Circle
Loud guy: You know what? Sometimes you've got to catch a few venereal diseases to find true love.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Kelsey
Man on cell: Then I thought that if I asked her out she would think that I think that she thinks that I think that she loves me.
–59th St & 8th Ave
Black girl behind the counter (after receiving a few text messages and calls): Why is everyone harassing me today? (sighs) I feel loved.
–Coldstone Creamery
Overheard by: Eli
Bus driver on loudspeaker: This bus is beautiful. We care about one another, we share our experiences, our dreams and aspirations. I love each and every one of y'all. So…that's what this is.
–X30 Bus
Overheard by: i just like him as a friend…
Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk.
–Steinhardt Building, NYU
Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys!
–Q train
Overheard by: Robert
Vapid high school chick: Oh my god, I just found out that he's actually dating a freshman. And not even one of the cute ones either…she's like, brown.
–Central Park
Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it.
–Broadway & 20th St
Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver… (awkward silence) …but I mean a really cute beaver.
–Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy
Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much.
–N Train
Adorable little boy: Mommy, can I have a Hershey bar?
Mom: Yes.
Adorable little boy: I want this big one.
Mom: You can't have a candy bar that big…you might catch the obesity virus.
–Broadway & 2nd
(moon is covered by a cloud)
Five-year-old boy: Where is the moon?
Mom (looking everywhere): Once it's full it goes back to the beginning, so no moon tonight.
–86th & 5th
Overheard by: Stephanie
High school girl: On the internet, Nike will let you put your name on some dunks.
High school boy: They gonna let you put “hooker” on their shoe?
High school girl (pissed): I told you that ain't my name!
–W. 72nd Station
Father: Hurry up or we'll be late! If we're late mommy is gonna spank you!
Toddler son: (shocked look)
Father: I'm kidding, mommy would never spank you, mommy would spank daddy.
Toddler son: Mommy spanks daddy?
Father (with a devious smile): Mommy spanks daddy all the time!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.
–Metro-North Train
Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!
–Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Mike
20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!
–Times Square
Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor
Little kid looking out subway window: Look mom! The projects!
–N Train
Overheard by: patricia
Three-year-old girl to mom looking at a painting: Why am I so biiiggggg?
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: alison
Little boy, whining to his mother while following her the wrong way through IKEA: We're never going to get out of here!
–IKEA, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lost In Space
Small child: Look at that pigeon, mommy, I want to eat it!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Natalie
Two-year-old girl (shaking her ass): Hubba hubba!
–Central Park
Little boy: Mommy! Let's go look at the hos now!
–Museum of Natural History, Native American Exhibit
Pudgy Asian kid standing in circle of sitting summer campers: The capital of Thailand is Bangkok! Who wants a tea bag?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Thaibag
