Teen girl: They's your friends…
Teen boy: Is they my friends, or my friends' friends, or just some niggas I know? Get your terminology right.
–Chinese Restaurant, Brooklyn
Teen girl: They's your friends…
Teen boy: Is they my friends, or my friends' friends, or just some niggas I know? Get your terminology right.
–Chinese Restaurant, Brooklyn
Guy #1: So did you take her to the hospital?
Guy #2: Nah, man, I took her to Brooklyn.
–Borough Hall
Overheard by: DRC
Girl #1: Where is Jose, anyway?
Girl #2: Boyfriended.
Girl #1: Is that like an island or something?
Girl #2: No, it's a state of being.
–Manhattan Ave & India St
Douche on cell: I haven't had sex in 48 days and I feel like it's getting smaller. What should I do?
–48th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jnaz
Really old man complaining to his wife: You'd rather watch CNN than have sex with me!
–The Water Club, 30th & FDR
Overheard by: Trying to have a romantic dinner date
Pretty girl on cell: Yeah, I got this really bad toothache…my gums are sore too. (pause)
What do you mean what have I been putting in my mouth? (laughs) Well, nothing exciting, that's for sure! Maybe that's the problem. My mouth's probably going on strike cause it hasn't been getting any action.
–F Train
Overheard by: I wouldnt have minded putting something of mine in her mouth!
Girl on phone: I mean, if I don't fuck him, who will? His bitch-ass girlfriend certainly won't. (pause) No, not even; she only got those piercings so she could put a fucking lock in it.
–L Train
Random guy outside bedroom window: Just because I won't sleep with you doesn't mean I don't love you!
–Union Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Casey
Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!
–Christopher & 7th
Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.
–125th b/w Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Reilly
Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.
–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn
Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!
–Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Meredith
Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!
–NJ Transit
Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!
–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform
Suit on cell: You're stupid enough to swallow a condom but you're smart enough to know you can sue someone.
–69th & York
Overheard by: Eugene
Attractive tall Asian chick with purple hair on cell: There's no way I would be compatible with someone so much smarter than me.
–Joralemon & Columbia, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Awesome Mother Fucker
Effeminate young man to lady friend: I think you're street smart when nobody tells you you're street smart.
–C train
Father to son: You are so smart. You are going to be the leader of a cult someday.
–Thompson & Spring
Guy, refusing to hold on to train pole: I'm trying to see how stupid I can really be.
–7 Train
Overheard by: jj
Train conductor: Next stop, 42nd. If you want to transfer to the e, I think it's running on the r, so get off next stop and walk to the r line. Don't be an idiot and wait for a train that ain't coming. Get off at 42nd and go to the r line.
–A Train
Overheard by: Amy
Chubby girl, passionately arguing on cell: I really believe Fabio is so not stupid. (pause) Seriously! He just has trouble…um…communicating.
–Outside Educational Housing Services, Clark & Henry
Overheard by: Blue Steel
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have an idiot on board. He knows who he is.
–N Train
Six-year-old girl, with mace in hand: Look, mommy! A mace! Now I can hit unicorns and make them bleed. Death to unicorns!
Mom: That's great, honey.
–8th Ave & Carroll St
Mom to nine-year-old son: Do you want anything?
Kid, looking at variety of candy: Mmmmmm, let me see, something no one will like, so I don't get bullied for it at school.
–Deli, Hicks St & Kane, Brooklyn
