Drunk thug: Hard or soft?
Tired woman at bus stop: Huh?
Drunk thug: How you gonna fuck me? Hard or soft?
Tired woman: (stares hard at him)
Drunk thug: Just wait til I buy you something.
–Myrtle Ave & Carlton
Drunk thug: Hard or soft?
Tired woman at bus stop: Huh?
Drunk thug: How you gonna fuck me? Hard or soft?
Tired woman: (stares hard at him)
Drunk thug: Just wait til I buy you something.
–Myrtle Ave & Carlton
Thuggish Asian watching Cops in store window: Yo, the one without the shirt is always guilty.
–College Point
Teen girl on cell: I tried biting some people, I got arrested.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jon
Very loud and drunk crackhead to friend: I don't care who you are. Everybody goes to jail some time.
–Hoyt & Warren, Brooklyn
Pharmacist on phone: Oh my, is she okay? (pause) That's when you got arrested on the plane?
(pause) At Fort Dix!?
–Drugstore, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Transit161
Friend to another, yelling across street: Good luck with your rape case…I know it wasn't you!
–Centre & Grand
Overheard by: jzjmrdangerdowntown
Small boy, singing to himself: Goodbye, everybody say goodbye… To Chris Brown…'cuz he smacked a woman and he's going to jail.
–Barnard College
Hip soul dude: You gonna push me, woman?
Hip soul chick: I'm not pushing you, baby.
Hip soul dude: That's right, you best not or I'll go off, remember–I'm the man who put “p” in “schizophrenic.”
–Henry & Montgomery
Overheard by: Ziggy
Preppy guy #1: Dude, Ikea's where you come when you want to see what your life could really look like.
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, it's like imagination land!
–Ikea, Brooklyn
Audience member in bar: Could I have a glass of wine?
Volunteer bartender: Sure, light or dark?
Audience member: Umm…red, please.
–White Wave Dance, Brooklyn
Ghetto girl #1: I hope he was wearing a condom on his tongue.
Ghetto girl #2: I don't think so.
–Ave L
Dressed up overweight 20-something girl to another: We're in our 20s. We're like supposed to be slutty, right?
–Norman & Diamond
Overheard by: Guess I missed the memo 20-something girl
College girl to another: You gotta hit it and quit it, like a dude!
–W Broadway & 108th St
Overheard by: Tess
Janky fat woman: He never told me not to tramp!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
Loud thug with neck tattoos on cell: You know Stud is my son, dude. Stud just wanna hump on women all day.
–Deli, Myrtle Ave, Fort Greene
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Hipster chick to another: I was wasted! Then I saw him in daylight and said "Holy shit!"
–Havemeyer, Grand Street, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Miss Heather
Lawyerly woman to another: I told him that just because I want to fuck does not mean that we have to love each other.
–Foley Square
Overheard by: Julio
Random guy to cute girl: Good luck, honey. What you wake up with, you're stuck with.
–Jimmy Steiny's, Hyatt Street, Staten Island
Student #1: I ate a whole bag of Kit Kats last night.
Student #2: I wonder how that bathroom smells.
–11th Grade English Classroom, Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: The Teacher
Hipster #1: I mean, if I were an asshole, I just would have slept with all three of them.
Hipster #2: Yeah, but you're not. You're a nice guy.
–Bedford Ave & Grand
Overheard by: yeah, the nicest.
