Straight guy: You're like the Moses of the New York gay scene.
Gay bear: Just the chubby ones.
–NYU
Straight guy: You're like the Moses of the New York gay scene.
Gay bear: Just the chubby ones.
–NYU
Girl #1: We went to her house upstate.
Girl #2: How was it? Is it nice?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's really nice.
Girl #2: Oh… Okay. So it's not like Sex and the City no air-conditioning? It's like hey, I have a tennis court?
Girl #1: Yeah, definitely… and a pool.
–Greene & Waverly
Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's
Old lady on cell: I mean, it's just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce."
–42nd St
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
–Paul's Cafe
20-something guy on cell: My girlfriend's birthday is tomorrow. (pause) I don't know. Maybe a bong.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Steve Popovich
Girl to friend: I just wanted to hook up with him because we had the same birthday.
–8th St & 5th Ave
Rent cast member (shouting over shoulder): I turn 34 on Friday, I'm old but at least I made it past Jesus.
–Nederlander Theatre
Woman arguing loudly with her mother in the laundromat: My 30th birthday is gonna be ruined if we don't go to the wax museum!
–4th Ave & 14th St, Brooklyn
Guy handing out New York Post: Grab your free copy of New York Post, it's free, it's free! Oh, and happy birthday to me today, thank you very much for remembering it! Oh, what a lovely day…
–42nd & Madison
Overheard by: Eve
Grad student: It’s like Hogwarts. Witches go to Hogwarts. They don’t go to Harvard Witch Management.
–Think Coffee, Mercer & W 4th
Overheard by: this analogy makes no sense
German dude to other German dude, in rapid German: Voldemort! And Dumbledore!
–96th & Broadway
Overheard by: LeLeLe
Teen girl: He said that Dumbledore takes it up the ass. Seriously.
–1 train
Overheard by: Silverhawk
High school thug girl: Yo dead ass, Harry Potter is hot.
–Houston & Green
Overheard by: chedr
Perverted tween: I wonder how many old women are into Dumbledore. They must be like "oooooohh! Dumbledooooooore!"
–D train
Overheard by: tanechka
Drunk 20-something woman on cell: I’ve fallen off the Voldemort wagon!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: McFreaky
Chick #1: I have never been in love! Never never ever! Can you believe it?
Chick #2: Really? Wow! Well, look what’s out there.
Chick #1: I know! All the good ones are married, all the cute ones are gay, and the rest look like Shrek! All I want to do is meet a really sweet nice guy whos gorgeous and musical and creative and sweet like Jack White! Oh my god, he’s a god!
Chick #2: That White Stripes guy that punched someone out?
Chick #1: Yeah, he’s my idea of a perfect guy! God I love him!
Chick #2: Look! I got chocolate!
Chick #1: Yeah! Chocolate!
–Otto’s Shrunken Head, East Village
20-something woman: Is she a bialy in real life?
–Tomo sushi, 110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Very large black woman on cell phone, bellowing: I don’t do no motherfucking corn bread! Why the fuck you always want corn bread, motherfucker?
–St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, 114th & Amsterdam
Punk girl to another: I wish I was a muffin. But I’m not. I’m a human.
–B Train
Overheard by: id rather be a cupcake
Black Whole Foods employee to black whole Foods customer: You have to be raised on it, you hear me? I was raised on c-town, key foods. I ain’t gonna pay no 4 dollars for no eggs.
–Union Square Whole Foods
Clueless suit on cell: I’m just really bad at knowing if stuff is perishable or not. I just don’t know. Ok, so ice cream -that’s perishable, right? Butter -non-perishable. Caviar isn’t perishable either… Wait, what? Oh, butter is perishable? Wait, how do you know? Does perishable mean it has to be kept in the fridge? Ok, so does caviar have to be kept in the fridge?
–E 60th St
Angry 20-something on cell phone: Why? Why? Because I can’t eat spaghetti-o’s anymore!
–E 13th St & 1st Ave
Guy #1: She’s like a dull child acting out. It’s so transparent to everybody but her, that we know who she is talking about.
Guy #2: I wonder if they pay her in shiny buttons.
–Vanderbilt & 42nd
Overheard by: Joe Jervis
Middle-aged Republican lady: Do you have any McCain buttons?
Hippie political button vendor: Only this one (shows her “make war, not love” button). It's about how all Republicans think that wars are the most important thing ever.
Middle-aged Republican lady: So, you don't have any nice McCain buttons?
Hippie political button vendor: Do I look like I have any nice McCain buttons?
Middle-aged Republican lady: (long pause) No.
–Outside Central Park
Overheard by: iz
Toddler: Mommy, this bathroom is dirtyyy! Mommy? What’s the cleanest place in the world?
Mother: I don’t know, that’s a good question.
Toddler: Well, I know that the dirtiest place ever, ever, ever, ever, ever is Chick-Fil-A.
–Restroom, Lunt-Fontanne Theatre
Overheard by: Not eating at Chick-Fil-A anymore
