Old man: Let me ask you something. When you see a person in a wheelchair or on crutches, do you feel bad for them?
Teenage boy: Um… I guess, yeah.
Old man: You shouldn't, because they don't feel sorry for you.
Teenage boy: Oh. Thank you.
–Brooklyn Heights
Girl talking to another girl: I like rectal physiology.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: no need to take her to a movie
Fireman, mocking drunk voice and crazy walking: Where are my kneecaps? Has anyone seen my kneecaps? Where the hell did my kneecaps go?
–Times Square
Overheard by: jacki
Man on street talking seriously to friend: And then the lady’s head fell into the toilet bowl.
–White St & W. Broadway
Overheard by: I would have loved to hear the ending of this story..
Guy: It would be better if we could see our own bodies cut up, all laid out on front of us like this!
–Entering the Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport
Girl in train: It’s so cold that my ears are freezing their asses off!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Not High, Kumar
Woman at next table: Well, I only get cold sores on my nose.
–The Mermaid Inn, 2nd Ave & 5th
Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Phil
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?
–51st St & Lexington
Overheard by: jake-e
Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: I guess not a normal person
Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.
–Hunter College
Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.
–Museum of Natural History
Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!
–Museum of Natrual History
Overheard by: Heather
Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: James
Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.
–11th & 3rd
Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)
–Canal St
Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!
–Murray Hill
Overheard by: sab
Girl #1: Did you know babies have natural reflexes? Like, if you stick your finger in their hand, they'll grab it, and if you try to pull it away, they'll hold on to it for like a minute.
Girl #2: Did you know if you punch a baby in the face, it'll cry?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: mkb
Older gentleman #1: The couple times a century that we do have sex, I would rather be playing golf.
Older gentleman #2: I know exactly what you mean.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Hipster chick: He thought that by “phone sex” I meant “phone hanging out chat time”.
Friend: Bo-ring.
Hipster chick: I basically phone raped him.
–L Train
Straight guy: You're like the Moses of the New York gay scene.
Gay bear: Just the chubby ones.
–NYU
Girl #1: We went to her house upstate.
Girl #2: How was it? Is it nice?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's really nice.
Girl #2: Oh… Okay. So it's not like Sex and the City no air-conditioning? It's like hey, I have a tennis court?
Girl #1: Yeah, definitely… and a pool.
–Greene & Waverly
