Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!

–Christopher & 7th

Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.

–125th b/w Park & Lexington

Overheard by: Reilly

Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.

–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn

Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!

–Shuttle Train

Overheard by: Meredith

Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!

–NJ Transit

Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!

–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform

Posted on April 22, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Black People, Boob Job, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jocks, Junk Food & Fast Food, Love, Money & Class, Offers and requests, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, President, Public Transportation, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Yankee Stadium

Not Clay Aiken.

Black thug to friend: Yo, everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's day.
Drunk white girl: Is everyone black on Martin Luther King day?

–5th Ave & 49th St

Posted on April 12, 2009
Black People, Celebrations/Parties, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, Thugs, White People

The Angel Wings Are for Religious Purposes

Drunk gay college student, seeing drag queens crossing the street: Yay! Halloween! I love Halloween!
Drunk college friend: Oh my god! I love your costumes!
Drag queen, angrily: It ain't Halloween, bitch! This is every day!

–18th & 8th

Posted on April 9, 2009
Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drag queens, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Sexuality, Street, Trannies

…So You Can Be Divorced by at Least Thirty.

Drunk guy: If I'm not married by the time I'm twenty-five or twenty-six…
Drunk girl: You haaaaave to be married by the time you're twenty-five.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: very single twenty-five year old. ouch.

Posted on April 9, 2009
Age/Aging, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Lower East Side, Marriage

Unless Ben and Jerry Count

Extremely drunk guy: Hey, how ya doin'?
Sober woman: Fine, thanks. (pause) Hey, this is my stop…gotta go! (dashes off train)
Extremely drunk guy to extremely drunk friend, after a long pause: Hey, I coulda had her if I wanted. I coulda been like, “if this is your stop, then it's my stop too, baby, why dontcha come home with me?” But I don' want any company tonight. I wanna be all by myself…in my own place…in my own bed…all alone.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on April 6, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Guys, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Public Transportation, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

We Can Afford Coke.

Woman: Looks like you guys got your drink on tonight.
Drunk frat boy: I don't drink–I'm the VP of programming!

–PATH

Overheard by: DBrickashaw

Posted on April 5, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Jobs & Careers, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Women

Wednesday Is Gin Day.

Drunk hobo, eyeing designer bottled water: Hey lady, is that all vodka?
UES lady, without missing a beat: Not this morning.

–4 Train

Overheard by: austin

Posted on March 30, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Drunks, Hobos, Homeless, On the Subway, Questions, Women

Melissa? Iiiiiinteresting.

EMT #1, to vomiting wino: What's your name?
Wino: Dennis.
EMT #1: Dennis? Okay, Dennis, we're gonna…
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #1: What?
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #2: Well, what's your name when you're not drunk?

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Rachel Silver