Male suit: I bet he's all about mommy, isn't he?
Female suit: Yep, he loves me.
Male suit: That's exactly what my daughter is like with me. She's daddy's girl all the way.
Female suit: Aw, that's so adorable.
Male suit: I don't even know what I'd do if I had a boy. Isn't it weird how men always have daughters and women always have sons?
Female suit: Yeah, it usually works out like that.
–42nd b/w 5th & 6th
White teenage girl to friends: I have two Asian cousins.
Friend: Why?
White teenage girl: Because Asians like Italian pussy, that's why.
–22nd St & Lexington Ave
Young boy to dad: Dad, I am still really concerned about that ghost we saw earlier.
Dad to boy: It was just your grandmother, I've told you!
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
College girl to friend: I think my problem is I'm too independent.
Friend: Didn't you just move back in with your parents?
College girl: Yeah, but I'm planning on moving out in a year or two.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Karl
Tween thug #1: Yo, Beth Israel hospital. You gotta be a Jew to go there? Haha!
Tween thug #2, somberly: No. My grandmother was in there.
Tween thug #1: Oh. I'm sorry… Shit! Look, that's where we got arrested! They cuffed me on that corner!
Tween thug #2: Yo, what time is it?
Tween thug #1: 5:11. (pause) Oh damn, my momma told me I had to be home at 5! She gonna kill me.
–B82 Bus
Little girl reading bar sign: Mom, what's a Stumble Inn?
Mom: It's a restaurant.
Little girl: Is it like Stumbelina?
Dad: Yeah, Thumbelina's drunk sister.
–2nd Ave & 76th St
Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of…
–MoMa
Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jason
Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group.
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Overheard by: scarface
Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Lord Almighty
Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true.
–St. John's University
Woman: You think that's bad…I did blow off my boyfriend's rock-hard abs on my kitchen counter…and I'm married with three kids.
Friend: Did he do blow off your boobs?
Woman: No…it'd fall off!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Victoria
Mother to young son: If daddy asks you why mommy's upset with him, you say it's because he doesn't take care of her.
Young son: I ain't saying nothing.
–B Train
Rangers fan, about two players who are brothers: No, they're like the same age. They've gotta be like four or five months apart.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Blonde to blonde friend, looking outside from Legally Blonde theater: Oh, wow, it's still light out.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jaime and Bridget
Girl to friend: I don't even know how long ago one minute ago was.
–New Year's Eve, Times Square
Overheard by: Kristina
Girl, pointing to turkey walking around: Look at the peacock, it's so pretty!
–Central Park
Lady on cell: I told her she was an ungrateful b-i-c-t-h!
–14D Bus
Overheard by: Evan Wilson
