Girl: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he has amnesia.
Friend: I guess that explains why he's falling asleep all the time!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Bernard
Girl: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he has amnesia.
Friend: I guess that explains why he's falling asleep all the time!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Bernard
20-something female to friend: If everyone would just pay a dollar, then we would be out of this stupid recession!
Friend: You pay a lot more than a dollar in taxes.
20-something female, frustrated: I know–but if everyone would just pay another dollar on top of it, then we'd be fine.
–39th & 5th
Overheard by: Laura PJ
Dude in crowded subway car, to friend he's showing around town: That's why hipsters are all so thin, so they can move easily through trains.
Friend: So, is that, like, a requirement here?
Dude: Yeah, there's a practical reason for it.
–R Train
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Black thug to friend: Yo, everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's day.
Drunk white girl: Is everyone black on Martin Luther King day?
–5th Ave & 49th St
Foreign guy: Yeah, I had this sixteen-year-old who was drunk on vodka.
Friend: Yeah?
Foreign guy: I didn't sleep with her, though. I don't do that. I slept with her in the morning. Yeah, it's all about the penetration.
–St. Mark's Place
Hip Asian girl: I'm getting really interested in Buddhism.
Sassy gay friend: I like killing bugs too much.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: michelle
Drunk gay college student, seeing drag queens crossing the street: Yay! Halloween! I love Halloween!
Drunk college friend: Oh my god! I love your costumes!
Drag queen, angrily: It ain't Halloween, bitch! This is every day!
–18th & 8th
Pregnant teacher: Yeah, so my husband loves me and I'm pregnant. Yeah, that's life…everything works out.
Black girl to friend: Yo, she makes me mad depressed.
–Edward R Murrow High School
Tourist teen: Scientology? Is that like that crazy Darwinism stuff where they think people are monkeys?
–TKTS
Guy: Well, 20 million years ago you were a monkey too!
–NYC Lab School
Overheard by: T
Teen to friend: So once the car is full of monkey poop, then you trade it in for another one.
–Chelsea
Hobo sitting in subway station: Woman ain't want no man in her bed…she want a monkey in her bed…ooohh ooh oh ahh ahhh ahhh. (makes monkey noises)
–E Train
Overheard by: Ja9
Comedy show hawker: You will all have autism when you're done with this show. And you'll be having sex like monkeys and bunnies.
–Times Square
Overheard by: fluffyautist
Little boy watching monkey, to father: I bet he wouldn't leave his kid at a Wal-Mart.
–Bronx Zoo
Chick on cell: Look, there are only two people other than me who can construct a sentence that awesome: Severus Snape and Keith Olbermann, and one of them isn't even real!
–18th & 6th
Middle-aged man on cell: Hey man, guess what. I just saw Harry Potter's magic wand!
—Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Kilfy
Chick on cell: Is he one of Voldemort's friends from high school?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Loud girl to friend: Because seriously, how many real redheads do we actually know? And Ron Weasley doesn't count!
–NYU
IT VP: This guy at work told me the ending to the last Harry Potter book before I read it. So I fired him.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jason E
