Friends

A Lost Generation Of Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster kid: I should just stop wearing underwear altogether.

–Loews Cinema, 84th St

Hipster girl on cell: Is it "i before e" or "e before i"? "E before i," right? I knew it was "i before e"!

–11th & Ave A

Overheard by: Jerome

Drunk hipster girl to boyfriend: I can't afford to buy drugs, I have to buy lunch on Wednesday.

–A Train

Overheard by: Jesse Jack

Angry hipster girl: Why are there so many ATMs everywhere?!

–6th St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: Cash Money

Hipster girl, commenting on painting to friend: God, you see diamonds everywhere now. They're like the new antlers.

–Bushwick Art Loft

A Fancy Feast of Wednesday One-Liners

60-year-old woman to friend, at Met opening gala: I'm not going to go to the opera this year. There are no fancy entrances.

–62nd & Amsterdam, Improvised Met Entrance

Overheard by: Melissa

Crazy man to group of young women: Hello ladies, are you having a nice night? (women ignore him) You could just say "yes." I'm not Jack the Ripper, I'm not the Boston Strangler…look at you, walking all fancy and shit!

–125th & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Anna

Tourist girl: Y'all, Times Square is so fancy. They have a red lobster!

–Times Square

Hobo: Red lobster? What kind of fancy guy do you know? You're lucky if I can buy you a slice of pizza.

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Overheard by: hungry4biscuits

Crazy guy on subway: You have to hold onto your valuables, your Christmas presents, your fancy lingerie…because if you put them down, someone will take them. People are really fast around here. Men, women, transvestites…transvestites are really fond of fancy lingerie.

–Northbound R Train

Overheard by: ElizabethB

I Think There's Something Wrong With My Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: You mean the labia? No, that's a vagina part.

–13th & Ave B

Overheard by: Caroline

Woman to friend, in line for bathroom: I'm taking that medication that makes it really dry, again.

–Ethel Barrymore Theater

Overheard by: Crumb Doughnut

Cornelius, crazy hobo: Yo' pussy looks betta' than yo' face!

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Lily London & China Rose

Monotone suit on cell: That pussy better be ready by the time I get home.

–Houston & Broadway

Girl on cell waiting for Port Jefferson train: Okay, be serious for a second, how do you know if you're allergic to latex, though? Really, cause dead honest, it's a puffed mushroom right now. I don't know what to do. Should I go see someone, do you think Henry would notice? Really, what if I turn off the lights?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Chester

I'm Never Letting You Dog-Sit Again.

Tranny to friend: I shat all over his dick last night, and he licked it up off the floor.
Friend: Oh, honey!

–4th Ave & 12th St

The Bronx Is East of the Sun and West of the Moon

5-foot Asian high school girl to friend: So where is your college anyway?
5-foot Asian college friend: Umm…in the Bronx.
5-foot Asian high school girl: Is that like north of the city or something?
5-foot Asian college friend: Umm…maybe, but I don't think so.

–Rilo Kiley Concert, Terminal 5

Wednesday One-Liners Say “Piss on It!”

Man exiting subway: No, thanks, I've had enough urine in my nose today.

–14th St & 8th Ave

Guy, infatuated with female friend: If I had a pool I'd let you pee in it.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Chadwick

Sturdy guy to chubby girls: We're men! We pee in the park!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: mmhmmm

Mad boyfriend beside girlfriend: No! No! No! I know how you are! I know how they are! All you have to do is pee and…

–Steinway St.

Overheard by: Dustin

Loud girl: Ugh, I wish I had a penis so I could pee on all ya asses.

–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Amused Freshman

Little boy to brother: I have all the power! Do not make me pee-pee on you again!

–Throop & Pulaski

Overheard by: Melissa Kairuz

Boomsday One-Liners

Black guy: That show was so white, I just wanted to bomb the place.

–W 49th & Broadway

Overheard by: Erin

19-year-old street vendor: Well, pipe bombs are easy…but they do a lot of damage.

–Chinatown

Guy dressed in sequined jacket, screaming on escalator: I can't fucking believe this fucking shit. They have no fucking radios. What K-Mart got no fucking radios? No fucking radios! (after a long pause) I'm gonna bomb this muthafucka to the ground.

–K Mart, 8th St

Overheard by: I Didn't Know the Unibomber Got a Makeover

Man on phone: Do you know why they bombed on 7/11?

–50th St & 9th Ave

20-something girl to friend, after large explosion is heard: Well, I'm from Detroit, so when I hear things like that it doesn't even bother me.

–Union Square Holiday Market

Overheard by: isa

Woman, as a grungy guy walks by: Whenever I see sullen long-haired bearded men in army jackets I am afraid something is going to get blown up.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Quick–To Google, Everyone!

Middle school-aged girl: I think the video of us dancing is on the internet!
Friend: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Middle school-aged girl: Whatever, no one will see it!

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mikaela

Where They Don't Even Have Lettuce

(large group of rowdy ghetto teens gets on train, one sits and begins eating a hamburger)
Girl: Yo, why do white people be thinkin' niggas like tomato on they sandwich?
Guy friend: I dunno.
(girl begins throwing lettuce and tomato on the ground)
Old man across the train: You're disgusting!
Girl: Hey, fuck you!
Guy friend: Yo, he just called you disgusting!
Girl: Well, he can kiss my ass!
Guy friend: Them's fightin' words on my block.
Old man, exiting train: Oh, go back to ghetto, you piece of shit!
Girl: That's exactly where we goin', muthafucker!

–6 Train

Overheard by: ahhh, New York

Sure Hope Carlos Likes Kool-Aid

Black guy: Damn! You got a pretty face!
(pretty Latina turns around and ignores him)
Black guy (taking seat halfway down train): Dang! How you going to turn around on me like that?
(pretty Latina ignores him)
Black guy (very loudly): How are you going to turn around like that?
(pretty Latina now looks embarrassed)
Black guy (pulling out guitar from case): This song goes out to the girl with the pretty face! She's over there! With the long hair and the boots!
(people turn and look, pretty Latina looks very embarrassed now)
Black guy (singing to tune of “My Girl”): Come on everyone! Even the white people–join in! (sings) I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of may.
(people start to join in, pretty Latina's friends are cheering and singing)
Black guy (singing): My girl! She's got black boots! The one with the long hair! C'mon girl! If you let me take you home…I'll…I'll…make you some Kool-Aid!
(pretty Latina gets off train)
Black guy: Ah, hell no! (pause). Alright, this one's for the guy with the ball! (pointing to guy with soccer ball under arm) His name's Carlos! He's from Puerto Rico!

–2 Train

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist