Proud Asian father to friend: And my little one here, he's going to be a football player when he grows up!
Little Asian boy: No way, Jose! I'm gonna be a Power Ranger!
–East Flatbush, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Frado
Proud Asian father to friend: And my little one here, he's going to be a football player when he grows up!
Little Asian boy: No way, Jose! I'm gonna be a Power Ranger!
–East Flatbush, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Frado
Young society reject to same: You’re the psycho-freak out! You touch people’s ears at random!
–AMC Theatre at Lincoln Center
Overheard by: G-Lime
A woman to friend: My friend just became a manicurist. She had her first client today and she only has one hand.
–Forham University
Woman almost forgetting her sunglasses: I would lose my ass if it wasn’t attached to my neck!
–A Train
Overheard by: Don
Student: I think the guy selling cell phones on the street made off with my uterus.
–Touro College of Osteopathis, Harlem
Coworker to another: You have thighs now. When you came here, you had no thighs.
–1250 Broadway
Suit #1 to suit #2: He has the feet of a nine-year-old girl!
–44th & Lexington
Geek: Well, she was dog-sitting and the dog died. The family, I guess, was someplace where they couldn’t get home, so she had to take care of it.
Dude: Take care of it?
Geek: Well, she was in Boston but didn’t have a car and didn’t know what to do with it because she couldn’t carry it, so she put it in a rolling suitcase to take it to the vet. On her way there, some guy saw her struggling with the bag and offered to help her carry it. When they were almost to the vet he asked what was in the bag, and, because I guess she didn’t think she could tell him that there was a dead dog in the bag, she said, ‘Electronics!’ Apparently, he looked at her, looked at the bag, punched her in the face, and ran off with the dog! Can you fucking believe it?! He stole the dead dog!
Quiet friend: … Did she have a black eye?
Dude: I can’t wait to talk to her when we get back to Boston so I can make fun of her! [Later…] I swear to God, if some girl I was fucking got knocked up, I would kill myself. Well, I would kill myself and then I would punch her in the face… Fuck, if she got pregnant, I would tear that baby out with a fork!
–Metro-North, New Haven line
Woman: She worked in a lesbian bar… She is not a lesbian.
Man: Well, she should be a lesbian.
Woman: Yes, exactly.
–87th & Lex
President: Are they de-seminating the office?…I mean decimating?
–40th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: EScrillz
Girl reading poster: The fastest… (pause) "fastest." Is that a word?
–42nd St AMC Theatre
Overheard by: Steph
Man on cell: Yeah, well that's what the beasting is for!
–Penn Station
Woman to friends: You know me, I say what I speak.
–Fordham Road
Frenchman trying to learn English: I was a beef with those potatoes!
–TGI Fridays, Times Square
Overheard by: CS
Hipster art student to friend: As much as…like…whatever, like.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: I guess that's English
Tourist: I feel so elated! Wait…no, I mean, "violated."
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: Sally Tempo
Thug: What are you reading?
Thug friend, holding up book: Plato.
–E 180th St, Bronx
Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.
–Elevator, 56th & 8th
Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!
–Terminal 5
Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?
–Cafe Esperanto
Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!
–TriBeCa
Overheard by: lalala
Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.
–51st & 3rd
Overheard by: IG
Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.
–4 Train
Overheard by: BQM lady
Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!
–Astor Place
Overcaffeinated teen with drink: I need to blend this. I wish I had blenders for hands.
Serious friend: Some people would want to be able to fly or read minds… I guess that's a pretty good super power too.
Overcaffeinated teen with drink: I'd used my blender hands to stir up the air and fly, like helicopter propellers.
Serious friend: Come on, think about the physics of that. If anything, you'd just create two devastating vortices on either side of you and suck everybody in. No flying.
Overcaffeinated teen with drink: If we're already asking for blender hands, I think a minor change in the laws of physics would be workable.
Serious friend: True. (spins hands like blender-propellers)
–6 Train
Overheard by: Lynne
20-something guy to female friend leaving house party: If you see Sophia, say hi to her. She's never been to our place before, so just let her know how to get in.
Female friend: I have no idea what she looks like!
20-something guy: She has curly hair!
Female friend, walking outside: I am so going to fuck this up.
–86th St & Lexington
Overly flamboyant gay guy on phone: There is no way he can put himself through law school doing hardcore gay porn!
–Soho
Overheard by: Anastassia
Gay boy to another: Pornstars make good money.
–L Train
Girl: He wants to make money, but all his plans involve me being in porn. You know how long it takes to make a $1000 in porn? Three months!
–Destination Bar, 13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Heavyset dude to chick watching the Olympics: So I was watching curling porn the other day…
–Lucky Jack's bar, Orchard St.
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to friend: I saw that girl in a porn video last night. She has a cock.
–William & Cedar
Overheard by: Laura
